DRACULA’S GAY SHAME! Historian Finds Skeleton in Vlad’s Closet.   21 comments

HERO or HOMOPHOBE? Prince Vlad, AKA Dracula, had mixed record on human rights.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Vlad the Impaler, better known as Dracula, took a shameful secret to his grave. He murdered his own kid brother because he was gay!

“Contrary to popular belief, the real-life Dracula was not a vampire,” reveals Romanian historian Eugen Croitoru. “Quite the opposite, the 15th century warlord was one of history’s most prolific vampire slayers – impaling as many as 100,000 of the undead on wooden stakes during his reign.

“His younger brother Radu WAS, however a vampire, and Vlad drove a stake through his heart with his own hands. Not because Radu drank blood – but rather because he was a homosexual.”

GENTLE Radu the Handsome was easily seduced into vampirism.

Prince Vlad III of Wallachia, upon whom author Bram Stoker based the aristocratic bloodsucker of his novel Dracula, is regarded as a national hero by Romanian historians.

That’s because he singlehandedly repelled the Ottoman Empire’s invasion of their homeland and thus prevented the Muslim Turks from overrunning Europe. The fact that the invading Turkish army was infested with vampires is left out of most accounts.

“Just as Australian historians play down the country’s origins as a penal colony, most Romanian historians are embarrassed to talk about vampirism,” explains Croitoru. “But trying to keep vampires out of the Vlad story is like trying to tell the story of Native Americans without bringing up buffaloes.”

Prince Vlad is a national hero in Romania.

Vlad III was born in Transylvania, a region adjacent to Wallachia in what is now Romania, in 1431. His moniker Dracula meant “son of the Dragon.” While he had two older half-brothers, he was closest to his sweet and gentle kid brother, aptly named Radu the Handsome.

“Vlad and Radu were inseparable,” recounts Croitoru. “They spent their early years playing ‘soldier’ and other games together in their mother’s home. But when the boys were in their early teens, their father agreed to send them as hostages to the Ottoman court, to keep peace with the Sultan.”

The Sultan had promised the young princes would not be harmed, but soon after they arrived, he demanded that they renounce their Christian faith and drink vampire blood.

“Vlad defiantly refused. He was tossed in an underground dungeon where he was whipped and beaten daily,” says Croitoru. “But, despite years of torture, he never cracked.

“His softer, younger brother Radu didn’t have the strength to resist. He eventually knuckled under and converted to Islam. He also allowed himself to be bitten and to drink the blood of the Sultan’s son Mehmed II, who, according to the historical record, was a vampire.

“Vlad was horrified and heartbroken when guards gleefully told him that his brother had not only become a Muslim but a vampire as well.

“But if he had known the full story he would have been even more mortified. Mehmed was gay and Radu’s pretty face and pale skin caught his eye. He seduced Radu, converting him into a homosexual too.”

Vlad managed to get free, but Radu – now a full-fledged vampire — chose to remain behind. He became a member of the Ottoman court and a fawning minion of his vampire “sire” Mehmed II. When Mehmed’s father died and he was crowned the new Sultan, he put his sweetheart Radu in charge of a battalion made up largely of fearsome undead troops.

After Vlad’s father and his older brothers were killed by the enemy, Vlad inherited the throne of Wallachia and took a bride — only to learn that the Mehmed II had dispatched Radu and his unholy army of darkness to destroy him.

“Radu did his master’s bidding without mercy,” says Croitoru. “When Vlad was away fighting, Radu’s battalion besieged his castle. Vlad’s wife learned that she was to about be taken prisoner and forcibly vampirized,” the historian said.

“She bravely hurled herself from the tower into the Argeș River, declaring that she would rather ‘rot and be eaten by the fish’ than join the ranks of the undead. When Vlad later learned his own brother was responsible, he was devastated – yet knew that as a victim of vampirism himself, Radu was not truly to blame.”

GAY vampire Sultan Mehmed II aimed to conquer Eastern Europe.

With immensely strong and hard-to-kill vampires now making up an estimated one-third of his forces, Mehmed II became unstoppable. After capturing Constantinople in 1453, his armies marched through the Balkans, killing or converting all those who stood in his way. His goal was to drive out Christianity and turn all of Europe into a bastion of evil.

But Vlad had other ideas.

“He transformed Wallachia’s joke of an army into a formidable fighting force and created a militia of peasants to fend off the invaders,” says Croitoru. “Though vastly outnumbered, he mounted a fierce guerilla campaign against the Turks.”

The Sultan dispatched an army 12,000 men strong to conquer Wallachia, led by a high-ranking vampire lord named Hamza Pasha.

“When the troops were marching through a narrow pass north of Giurgiu, Vlad staged an ambush. The Wallachians showed no mercy. The vampires were all caught and impaled on wooden stakes, with their general Hamza Pasha impaled on the highest stake as a message to the Sultan.”

VAMPIRE SLAYER Vlad the Impaler earns his nickname as he oversees the mass execution of hundreds of captured Turkish blood drinkers.

Vlad went on the offensive, annihilating enemy troops from Serbia to the Black Sea. He constantly organized small surprise attacks on the Turks, using bold tricks not unlike those later employed by America’s Revolutionary War hero Francis Marion, the Swamp Fox.

“Disguising themselves in the traditional garb of Turkish vampire warriors, he and his men infiltrated enemy encampments and used stakes to dispatch scores of Turks at a time,” the historian says.

“He even struck at night — an unprecedented strategy when facing this kind of enemy. With the element of surprise on his side, the famous Night Attack succeeded — he was able slaughter hundreds of vampires before they could even draw their weapons.”

THE EVIL EMPIRE: Turkish invasion swept over Eastern Europe, bringing with it the scourge of vampirism.

Furious, in the spring of 1462, the Sultan raised an army of 90,000 troops and personally led them toward Wallachia.

“When the Sultan and his troops crossed the Danube, they found the bank lined with the corpses of 20,000 vampires impaled on 14-foot-stakes. They were so horrified that they turned tail in terror and returned to Constantinople,” says Croitoru.

“Basically, their reaction was, ‘Yes, we know these are the bloody Middle Ages, but this mother f_____ is crazy!’ ”

Enraged at being thwarted and humiliated by Vlad time after time, the Sultan gave Radu a huge army with marching orders to take down his brother once and for all. After a grueling battle, Radu and his better-equipped forces finally captured Poenari Castle, Vlad’s famed mountain lair. The Sultan appointed his loyal boytoy Radu the Handsome the new ruler of Wallachia. And the deposed Vlad soon found himself imprisoned in a dungeon — again.

“For more than a decade Vlad languished in a prison cell as a steady stream of henchmen (and lovely henchwomen) sent by his brother tried – again – to convert the stubborn prince to vampirism,” says Croitoru. “Sometimes he would be left in a cell for weeks at a time with no food and only a tempting goblet of blood on his table. But always the strong-willed Vlad resisted.

“Finally, one stormy night in 1475, Radu arranged to meet his brother in secret face to face, hoping to convince him that joining him on the dark side was his only hope.”

Although 40 years old by this time, Radu still looked like a handsome lad in his teens, his skin smooth and his “lips as full as any woman’s” in the words of a Hungarian account dug up by the researcher in 2009.

“Vlad bitterly demanded to know why his beloved brother could have abandoned the Christian faith and taken up arms against his own people,” says Croitoru. “Hoping for understanding, Radu confessed that he had acted out of love for Mehmed II and that they were lovers.

“Vlad was infuriated. He could forgive his brother for becoming a Muslim and a vampire, yes, for killing his wife, yes, and for usurping his throne, yes – but not for submitting sexually to another man. To a deeply religious Orthodox Christian like Vlad, such an act was an abominable sin.”

Although he was unarmed at the sit-down, Vlad picked up a heavy wooden chair and smashed it over Radu’s head. Then, consumed with rage, he took a broken chair leg and rammed the sharp tip through his brother’s heart.

With his brother dead, Vlad retook the throne of Wallachia on November 26, 1476. His hatred and loathing of the enemy that had turned his kid brother into a gay vampire now drove him to the brink of insanity.

NO MORE MR. NICE GUY. Vlad's "enhanced" impaling technique was a real pain in the keister.

“Instead of traditional chest-staking, captured undead soldiers were now lowered naked onto a huge stake described as ‘thick as a burly man’s arm,’ and deliberately dull at the tip so that death would come slowly,” Croitoru explains.

“The vampire’s weight would cause the victim to slowly sink onto the immense stake as it entered the anus, ripped its way inch by inch through the organs until, mercifully, it penetrated the vampire’s heart.

“It was a very undignified and excruciating death — which was exactly what Vlad intended. He was sending a message to Sultan Mehmed II, the man who had both vampirized his younger brother and introduced him to sodomy.”

Vlad’s relentless, take-no-prisoners campaign worked like a charm. Mehmed II eventually withdrew from the Balkans, his dreams of glory and world domination crushed. His existence remains today only an interesting historical footnote.

Sadly, Vlad lived for only another year before he died, a grief and guilt-ridden man who never got over the fate of the young brother he once so loved.

“Prince Vlad is rightly remembered as a valiant patriot and one of history’s greatest vampire killers,” observes the historian. “But for the sake of historical accuracy, he must also be remembered as one of history’s greatest homophobes.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth


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21 responses to “DRACULA’S GAY SHAME! Historian Finds Skeleton in Vlad’s Closet.

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  1. Well, that’s a different take on ol’ Vlad.

  2. Where can I find these historical records? I cannot find any information that matches. Some articles say Radu died from VD, this article says Vlad murdered him. I would like to find the true facts.

    • The basic story of Vlad and Radu is available in any decent book on Romanian history. Even a quick glance at Wikipedia will confirm the essentials of the story — Vlad’s role as a freedom fighter against the invading Turks, the brothers’ captivity as hostages of the Sultan, Radu’s conversion to Islam and switching sides to the Ottoman empire. You can follow the Wikipedia links to the historical sources.

      Most historians now agree that Radu was personally “flipped” to homosexuality by Mehmed II, leader of the invasion. As historian Michael Vorsino wrote in his University of Texas thesis:

      “While the character of Vlad Ţepeş was hardened by his captivity, Radu eventually succumbed to the sexual affections of Murad’s son, Mehmed II. He was to become Mehmed’s minion and later his choice for the Wallachian throne

      “Considering the strong Orthodox religion with which Vlad Dracula was raised, I believe it is very likely that his time in Turkish captivity had a profound effect upon him. Witnessing the homosexual nature of his brother’s sexual submission would have assaulted the young Vlad on many levels. To an Orthodox Christian, the act itself was considered sinful. Seeing his own brother pander to the enemy in order to gain favor could have only filled ‘the son the dragon’ with a burning hatred for his captors.”

      As for the role of vampirism, as Prof. Croituru noted, it’s hard to find a Romanian historian willing to talk about it. Most who do so quickly become pariahs in the field, as he has to some degree himself. It’s like Japanese historians who dwell on Pearl Harbor instead of HIroshima when teaching about World War II.

      The real cause of Radu’s death is somewhat fuzzy. All that is agreed upon is that he “died suddenly.” According to some records he was murdered, while others claim he died of syphilis. It is generally agreed that he suffered from a “strange malady” through most of his life. Syphillis, tuberculosis, or “a wasting disease” are all phrases commonly used by medieval historians as a euphemism for vampirism. In any event, if Vlad either had Radu killed or — as Croituru suggests — killed him with his own hand — he would have ample reason to order the official cause of death “adjusted” to natural causes.

  3. Romanian historian “Eugen Croitoru”?.. Nothing about him on Google search nor Wikis. Also the Article says “Vlad murdered Radu” which not corresponds to any historical record.

  4. I’d never heard of Croitoru either before now, which makes me a bit suspicious. On the other hand the Romanian government IS notorious for suprresing historians who don’t parrot the party line on Vlad, World War II and other controversial subjects. As I understand it, the cause of Radu’s death is somewhat mysterious. Since after his return to the throne, Vlad Tepes had nearly total control over what historians in his country wrote, it’s not surprising that contemporary accounts don’t state he murdered his own brother. Certainly he had every motive imaginable was wasn’t shy about killing people.

    • You’re kinda twisting logic there, Vlad the Impaler was a monster of history but people seem to forget that these ‘monsters’ are humans just like us. So thinking from Vlad’s perspective, if he had the opportunity to kill his brother, he most certainly would. You said yourself “Certainly he had every motive imaginable was wasn’t shy about killing people.”
      So if he did kill his brother it would be more likely that he would impale his brother’s body on a stick and leave it outside his bedroom chambers so he can walk by it everyday and be proud of his achievement. Or he would have it outside his castle to show off what he’s done.
      According to many historic records Radu died of disease, and if anything Vlad would either A) be angry that he didn’t kill his brother himself, or B) laughed at how ‘handsome’ Radu was turned into an ugly walking corpse before he died due to disease.
      Also, I have never once heard of Romanian historians being ‘suppressed’ if they didn’t fully support Vlad. While Vlad is a hero to them, they too would admit that impaling not only enemies but his own people and burning down his own villages (during his scorched-earth campaign in a war against the Ottomans) was a monstrous thing to do. He did a lot of gruesome things and Romanians are aware of it; they are not blind sheep who follow around their leader even after death.
      If you really want to find out the truth behind history, if you want to know mor eabout the world around you, I recommend you do more research. I also recommend that you talk to a Romanian historian (not a historian FROM Romania, but a historian who STUDIES Romania), they are not only incredibly likely to have lived in Romania, but they also will have valid sources for you to learn more about.

  5. what a crock!

  6. i’d just like to start by adding to this blog that we Australians rarely downplay our convict history. it is something we are proud of and not because of a romantasised portrayal of dashing and daring highwaymen but because, like with Vlad for Romania, they are a part of what led us to where we are today.
    Now, I’ve never ehard about about Croitoru either but i would like to know if he does exist or not, can anyone give me any factual evidence and not just hearsay?

    Winifred 'Fred' the Woebegone
  7. what an absolute piece of untrue ass!!!!!!

  8. Muslims would never drink blood!

  9. what a load of fanaticism islamophobic toddle, nonsense! I wont be buying/reading any of this persons literature even though his books seem interesting. Lost a customer…another one due to your islamophobic lies

    • You have a point about the thinly veiled islamophobia. Efforts to link Islam with vampirism have been going on for centuries, unfairly. They were not acceptable in the past and are certainly unacceptable today.

  10. It was interesting reading as well as confusing.

  11. All of the fact are preposterous and undeniably would cause a religion problem.

  12. He didn’t kill his brother because he was gay (wich was not a shame at this time), he killed him, because his brother wanted his throne. And he killed EVERYONE who wanted his throne.

  13. Vlad Draculae was improsoned when Radu died, so he could not have killed his own brother. By the way, beeing gay was not a shame at these times. And Radu wasn’t gay, he had a doughter

  14. Whom ever wrote this piece of lies is a big fat liar…
    None of what is mentioned is true he played a lot with the true story.
    Every person that revert back to Islam is homosexual??? It shows from the face of the writer that is not even a christian but he is satanist…
    Turks and Romanians Muslim and Christians fought vlad through his last day…. Vlad was hated by all… Vlad head was impaled during the ottoman empire on a stick… Go check your true historical books.
    It wasn’t garlic nor crosses nor sticks that killed Vlad but it was muslims…
    Dracul sent his kids Vlad and radu to Istanbul so they can simply learn in order to have a treaty and peace with Romania… Dracul was not forced to send them ….
    Haha radu embrassed Islam because of homosexuality bowahahaha…
    A person changed his religion and fought against his country for 40 years because of homosexuality…

  15. blinded by hatred… clearly the author is just a stupid person who read all histories wrong.. there’s nothing in history linking Islam with drinking blood.. and gay? u gotta be kidding me..
    better to learn more history from more than 1 perspectives…

  16. sorry, but your source, “Eugen Croitoru,” appears to be fictional. there’s no record of any Romanian historian by that name, but a Google search reveals two Romanaian archaeologists, Eugen Teodor, and Costin Croitoru, who published a paper in 2013: http://www.academia.edu/7789795/Unrecognized_Remains_of_the_Western_Segment_of_the_Ploscu%C5%A3eni-Stoicani_Vallum_Athanaric_s_Wall_East_of_Ploscu%C5%A3eni_Vrancea_County_Romania_

    Also, Vlad III was imprisoned at the time of Radu’s death, so he could not have murdered him.

  17. I am currently doing a report on Vlad the Impaler and the author might as well have impaled me. It made me literally cringe at inaccuracies in this. Here’s a good source on Vlad the Impaler that I have been using:
    It is VERY detailed, and a good read too (not recommended for little children based on gore; although I haven’t met any 5 years olds who want to know about Vlad). This article does state that Radu was homosexual (that is true), but it also states that he died of disease. If you’re interested in reading more about Vlad the Impaler I highly recommend this article. It even has it’s own sources listed too!
    Keep in mind Muslims DO NOT drink blood, and ARE NOT all homosexual. Sexuality is based on who a person loves, and history has been very harsh on them. Also, if you look up information about Islam, you’ll find that it originated from Judaism, just like Christianity! Islam is basically Christianity’s twin, but with different viewpoint on who God is.
    Despite the fact that the author is apparently a Yale graduate he seems to have looked at history wrong, I highly recommend he reads the article a couple of times (The more you read something, the better you understand it).
    Also while Vlad was close to his brother, he hated Radu because he rejected Christianity. Vlad was a radical of Christianity and was part of devout Christian group when he was young, so this was a horrible act of betrayal to him; although considering the era and it’s viewpoint on homosexuality, there is a good chance that he hated Radu for being homosexual as well.

    Hope I didn’t bore you and please read the article! There’s nothing worse than history altered because of a biased point of view.

  18. Another thing I forgot to mention, while Radu was young he was not a gentle little lamb. When Mehmed first tried to seduce Radu, the boy cut Mehmed with his sword and then, in fear for his life, ran and climbed up a tree. Mehmed only talked him into coming down by promising not to kill him. Although his reaction is perfectly reasonable. After all who wouldn’t be scared out of their mind if they injured royalty. To injure royalty is basically signing your own death sentence. Royalty was considered to be god-like and to injure the next sultan would be a great offence only punishable by death.
    If you’re confused about why Radu had a sword in the first place, both of the Tepes brothers were given an education while they were political prisoners. They learned the basics (math, english, and what not), warfare, close combat, and the Koran (the muslim bible).

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