ALIEN BREAST IMPLANTS GROWING IN POPULARITY, INVESTIGATORS SAY   Leave a comment

“MY EYES ARE UP HERE, PITIFUL EARTHLING.” Breast augmentation is now commonplace among female space aliens, experts say.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Feeling inadequate compared to well-endowed Earth women, female extraterrestrials are turning to breast implants in increasing numbers, UFO investigators report. Scores of eyewitnesses who’ve had close encounters in the past two years report seeing lady space aliens sporting humongous headlights.

Abductee Ryan Hettles of West Virginia claims that the female E.T. who conducted experiments on him as he lay immobilized on a metal slab was at least a 38-DD.

“They were huge, but at the same time high and perky as a teenager’s, which is what made me suspect they might not be real,” he told researchers. “And the thing was, she kept leaning over me as if she wanted me to get a real good look at them.

“Her skin was a grayish green and she had a big, bulging forehead. People asked me if she had black, almond-shaped eyes but to be honest, I don’t even remember seeing them. If I hadn’t been paralyzed, I think I would have been tempted to reach out and touch.”

Experts call such accounts a dramatic change from reports dating back to the 1950s that describe gray-type aliens as neuter, with no external genitalia or secondary sexual characteristics. “Mammary glands are either absent or appear to be merely vestigial,” according to a classified Air Force document leaked in 1996.

BEFORE: In years past, female aliens were virtually indistinguishable from males.

A leading UFO researcher believes E.T.s are opting for breast enlargement because decades of observing pop culture images of busty Earthlings have made them insecure and envious.

“Women undergoing cosmetic procedures to resemble those in a society they’ve come in contact with is actually a common phenomenon,” notes Dr. Harold F. Gluckenbaum. “We saw it in cases of Japanese women who had their eyes ‘fixed’ to look more American in the decades following the World War 2, or immigrants from the Middle East who undergo laser hair removal to get rid of their so-called unibrows.

BOMBARDED by images like this one of Star Trek’s Borg beauty Seven of Nine, many female visitors to our planet are now dissatisfied with their bodies.

“What is intriguing to me is that normally females from a less-powerful society imitate the dominant culture, not vice versa. You’d expect alien females from a vastly superior civilization to look down on Earth women, not seek to emulate them.
It suggests that some aliens have been hanging around our planet so long, they’ve been brainwashed into accepting our standards of beauty.”

Dr. Gluckenbaum’s theory is borne out by the 2006 case of two Georgia fishermen whose pickup was intercepted on the road by a saucer-shaped craft.

“Three aliens with spindly bodies and long arms got out. The shortest one seemed to be the leader,” recalls Earl Furgam, now 48. “My cousin Bobby gave the small one a friendly wave and said, ‘We’ll take you to our leader if you like. We don’t want any trouble, sir.’

“Soon as the word ‘sir’ came out of his mouth, the alien looked real frustrated and stomped its foot. It pulled this gun out that looked like it came from Star Wars and fired a blue ray that incinerated Bobby on the spot.”

“Afterward I figured that most likely the leader was female. But how were we supposed to know that? She was flat as an ironing board.”

BENT ON CONQUEST? Female aliens are also resorting to butt implants to achieve a curvier look, this recent photo suggest.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

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