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THE WEEK FROM HELL: Disaster Always Strike April 12 through 20.   Leave a comment

DAY OF TERROR: Cowardly fanatics unleashed death and mayhem at the Boston Marathon April 15, 2013.

DAY OF TERROR: Cowardly fanatics unleashed death and mayhem at the Boston Marathon April 15, 2013.

THE SPIRIT of Bostonians could not be crushed, as proved by countless acts of heroism.

THE SPIRIT of Bostonians could not be crushed, as proved by countless acts of heroism.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Brace yourself! The Week From Hell has rolled around again: Nine days that have been plagued by disaster and tragedy over the course of many centuries. On April 15, 2013, the Boston Marathon was cut short when two pressure-cooker bombs exploded killing three people and injuring an estimated 264 others. But that was only the latest in a string of heartbreaking catastrophes. Here are just a few of the past tragedies that have befallen the world between April 12 and April 20:

April 12: U.S. Civil War begins
April 13: Apollo 13 disaster
April 14: Lincoln Shot
April 15: Titanic Sinks
April 16: Virginia Tech Massacre
April 17: Russian troops slaughter gold mine workers
April 18: San Francisco Earthquake
April 19: Oklahoma City Bombing, Bay of Pigs, Waco tragedy.
April 20: Columbine High School Massacre

Until the Boston bombing I treated this historical oddity with a certain amount of gallows humor. Now I’m just praying that people around the world are spared from harm–while my family and I take shelter till the disaster-prone time frame blows over. The Titanic and the other incidents above are just the “tip of the iceberg.” Here, drawn mostly from Wikipedia, is the full list:

BROTHER vs. BROTHER: The Civil War ripped America in two.

BROTHER vs. BROTHER: The Civil War ripped America in two.

APRIL 12

• 1861 – The U.S. Civil War begins when Confederate forces fire on Fort Sumter, in the harbor of Charleston, South Carolina.
• 1864 –The Fort Pillow massacre: Confederate forces murder most of the African American soldiers who surrendered at Fort Pillow, Tennessee.
• 1945 – U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt dies in office.
• 1968 – Nerve gas accident at Skull Valley, Utah.
• 1970 – Soviet submarine K-8, carrying four nuclear torpedoes, sinks in the Bay of Biscay four days after a fire on board.
• 2002 – A female suicide bomber blows herself up at the entrance to Jerusalem’s Mahane Yehuda market, killing 7 and wounding 104.
• 2007 – A suicide bomber penetrates the Green Zone and detonates in a cafeteria inside the parliament building, killing Iraqi MP Mohammed Awad and wounding more than 20 other people.
• 2010 – A train derails near Merano, Italy, after running into a landslide, causing nine deaths and injuring 28 people.

UNLUCKY NUMBER: Astronaut James Lovell was lost in space aboard Apollo 13.

UNLUCKY NUMBER: Astronaut James Lovell was lost in space aboard Apollo 13.


APRIL 13

• 1945 – German troops butcher more than 1,000 political and military prisoners in Gardelegen, Germany.
• 1948 – The Hadassah medical convoy massacre: In an ambush, 79 Jewish doctors, nurses and medical students from Hadassah Hospital and a British soldier are slaughtered by Arabs in Sheikh Jarra near Jerusalem.
• 1953 – CIA director Allen Dulles launches the sinister mind-control program MKULTRA.
• 1970 – An oxygen tank aboard Apollo 13 explodes while en route to the Moon, stranding the crew in space.
• 1975 – Bus massacre in Lebanon: Attack by the Phalangist resistance kills 26 militia members of the P.F.L. of Palestine, marking the start of the 15-year Lebanese Civil War.
• 1992 – The Great Chicago Flood. Damaged wall of a utility tunnel beneath the Chicago River opens into a breach that floods basements with an estimated 250 million gallons of water.

NATIONAL TRAGEDY: John Wilkes Booth ruins the Lincolns' night at the theater.

ASSASSIN John Wilkes Booth ruins the Lincolns’ night at the theater.


APRIL 14

* 1846 – The Donner Party expedition sets out from Springfield, Illinois for California. After being trapped by heavy snow, nearly half of the 87 pioneers die, many eaten by their starving companions.
* 1865 – U.S. President Abraham Lincoln is assassinated in Ford’s Theatre by John Wilkes Booth.
• 1909 – Adana Massacre is launched by Turkey’s Ottoman Empire against Armenian civilians. Between 15,000–30,000 people are killed.
• 1944 – A massive explosion in India’s Bombay harbor kills 800.
• 1986 – President Ronald Reagan orders major bombing raids against Libya, killing 60 people including an infant girl, reportedly Colonel Gaddafi’s daughter.
• 1986 – Massive 2.2 pound hailstones fall on the Gopalganj district of Bangladesh, killing 92. These are the heaviest hailstones ever recorded.
• 1988 – The USS Samuel B. Roberts strikes a mine in the Persian Gulf.
• 1994 – In northern Iraq, two U.S. Air Force fighters mistakenly shoot down two U.S. Army helicopters, killing 26 people.
• 1999 – NATO mistakenly bombs a convoy of ethnic Albanian refugees. Yugoslav officials say 75 people are killed.
• 1999 – A severe hailstorm strikes Sydney, Australia causing $2.3 billion in insured damages, the most costly natural disaster in Australian history.
• 2010 – Nearly 2,700 are killed in a magnitude 6.9 earthquake in Yushu, Qinghai, China.

NEARER MY GOD TO THEE: A century after the disaster, the sinking of the Titantic remains a night to remember.

NEARER MY GOD TO THEE: A century after the disaster, the sinking of the Titantic remains a night to remember.

APRIL 15

• 1715 – The Pocotaligo Massacre triggers the start of the Yamasee War in colonial South Carolina. In the first year of the war, the Yamasee Indians lose about a quarter of their population, either killed or enslaved.
• 1912 – The RMS Titanic sinks in the North Atlantic at 2:20 a.m., two and a half hours after hitting an iceberg. 1,517 people are killed.
• 1941 – In the Belfast Blitz, the German Air Force (Luftwaffe) bombs Belfast, Northern Ireland, killing 1,000 people.
• 1969 – North Korea shoots down a United States Navy aircraft over the Sea of Japan, killing all 31 on board.
• 1970 – During the Cambodian Civil War, massacres of the Vietnamese minority results in 800 bodies flowing down the Mekong River into South Vietnam.
• 1979 – A disastrous 7.1 earthquake occurs on Montenegro coast.
• 1989 – British soccer fans crush together at Liverpool’s Hillsborough Stadium in the FA Cup Semi Final, causing 96 deaths.
• 1989 – The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 begin in the People’s Republic of China. Thousands are massacred by Communist troops.
• 2002 – Air China Flight CA129 crashes into a hillside during heavy rain and fog near Busan, South Korea, killing 128.
* 2013 — An estimated 264 runners and spectators are injured and 3 are killed when a pair of young terrorists detonate bombs at the Boston Marathon.

CRAZED student went on killing spree at Virginia Tech.

CRAZED student went on killing spree at Virginia Tech.

APRIL 16

• 73 A.D. – Roman legions crush the Jewish revolt at Masada after months of seige. Hundreds of Israelites commit suicide rather than be taken as slaves.
• 1945 – About 7,000 civilians and wounded soldiers perish when the German refugee ship Goya is sunk by a Soviet submarine torpedo, marking one of the worst tragedies in maritime history.
• 1947 – Texas City Disaster: An explosion on board a freighter in port causes the city of Texas City, Texas, to catch fire, killing almost 600.
• 1990 – “Doctor Death” Jack Kevorkian carries out his first assisted suicide.
• 1992 – The Katina P. runs aground off of Maputo, Mozambique and 60,000 tons of crude oil spill into the ocean.
• 2007 – Virginia Tech massacre: The deadliest spree killing in modern American history. Seung-Hui Cho kills 32 and injures 23 before committing suicide.

THE KILLING FIELDS: Millions were slaughtered by Cambodia's Khmer Rouge fanatics.

THE KILLING FIELDS: Millions were slaughtered by Cambodia’s Khmer Rouge fanatics.


APRIL 17

• 1912 – Russian troops open fire on striking goldfield workers in northeast Siberia, killing at least 150.
• 1941 – Germany conquers Yugoslavia.
• 1975: Khmer Rouge forces take over Cambodia. About 1.7 million people are slaughtered by this tyrannical regime, most dumped in the infamous mass graves known as The Killing Fields.
• 2006 – Sami Hammad, a Palestinian suicide bomber, detonates an explosive device in Tel Aviv, killing 11 people and injuring 70.

MASSIVE earthquake laid San Fransico to waste.

MASSIVE earthquake laid waste to San Fransico.

APRIL 18

*1880 — A powerful tornado rips through Marshfield, Missouri, leaving 99 people dead and 100 injured.
• 1897 – The Greco-Turkish War is declared between Greece and the Ottoman Empire. About 8,000 die in the brief but bloody conflict also known as The 30 Day War.
• 1902 – Quetzaltenango, the second largest city of Guatemala, is destroyed by an earthquake, killing about 900 people.
• 1906 – San Francisco earthquake destroys much of city. Death toll of 700 is often cited but experts believe as many as 2,800 may have perished in quake and resulting fires.
*1942 – U.S. planes bomb Tokyo in the Doolittle Raid as revenge for Pearl Harbor, killing 50. All the aircraft are shot down and 11 crewmen are killed or captured. After Chinese civilians help other aviators escape, Japanese massacre 250,000 of them retaliation.
• 1983 – A suicide bomber destroys the United States embassy in Beirut, Lebanon, murdering 63 people.
• 1996 – Israeli army shells the U.N. compound at Quana, Lebanon, blowing to smithereens at least 100 civilian refugees who’d taken refuge there.
• 2007 – A series of bombings wreak havoc in Baghdad, killing 198 and injuring 251.

UP IN FLAMES: The seige of a cult compound in Waco, Texas, ended in tragedy.

UP IN FLAMES: The seige of a cult compound in Waco, Texas, ended in tragedy.


APRIL 19

• 1943 – German troops crush the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. An estimated 13,000 Jews are killed, about half of those burned alive or killed by smoke inhalation. Of the 50,000 survivors, most are shipped to extermination camps.
• 1943 – Swiss chemist Dr. Albert Hofmann deliberately takes LSD for the first time, introducing the drug that will destroy thousands of minds.
• 1961 – The Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba ends in a fiasco for the U.S., in which most of the 1,500 C.I.A.-trained invaders are captured or killed.
• 1989 – A gun turret explodes aboard the USS Iowa, killing 47 sailors.
• 1993 – The 51-day siege of the Branch Davidian compound outside Waco, Texas ends when a fire breaks out. Eighty-one people die, including 20 children and two pregnant women.
• 1993 – South Dakota governor George Mickelson and seven others are killed when their plane crashes in Iowa.
• 1995 – Oklahoma City bombing: Timothy McVeigh blows up the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building, killing 168.
• 1997 – The Red River Flood of 1997 overwhelms region from North Dakota to Minnesota, inflicting $3.5 billion in damage.

EVIL punks massacred classmates in cafeteria of Columbine High School.

EVIL punks massacred classmates in cafeteria of Columbine High School.


APRIL 20

• 1792 – France declares war on Austria, the beginning of French Revolutionary Wars in which tens of thousands die.
• 1889 – Nazi madman Adolf Hitler is born. He launches World War 2 in which over 60 million people are killed.
* 1914 – In the heat of a Colorado miners’ strike, coal company goons and the Colorado National Guard gun down nearly two dozen people including 11 innocent children in the Ludlow Massacre.
• 1999 – Columbine High School massacre: Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold fatally shoot 13 people and injure 24 others before committing suicide in Jefferson County, Colorado.
• 2010 – The Deepwater Horizon oil well explodes in the Gulf of Mexico, killing twelve workers and causing the BP oil spill which lasts six months.

ON A HAPPIER NOTE:

The book trailer for my novel The Blood of Titans if finally complete and up on YouTube.

The author of this article also wrote The Blood of Titans, a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa, available on Amazon.com and Smashwords.

The author of this article also wrote The Blood of Titans, a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa, available on Amazon.com and Smashwords.

Check out The Blood of Titans HERE.

And my newest novel Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Harry Houdini in the Adventure of the Spook House is getting rave reviews. Check in out HERE.

Houdini and Conan Doyle investigate a bizarre disappearance  in new book.

Houdini and Conan Doyle investigate a bizarre disappearance in new book.

ZOMBIE PLAGUE IS GOD’S PUNISHMENT FOR POT, SAYS TOP CLERGYMAN.   Leave a comment

ALARMING rise in zombie cases has medical experts scratching their heads.

ALARMING rise in zombie cases has medical experts scratching their heads.

By C. Michael Forsyth

ATLANTA — The swiftly widening zombie epidemic does not owe its origin simply to a rogue germ – it’s God’s way of punishing Americans for smoking marijuana, a respected preacher claims.

“Every major plague of the past 2,000 years has been a form a divine retribution,” declared the Reverend Harvey Stintland, a leading theologian and author. “Leprosy, for example, was sent to punish the Roman Empire for its decadence and debauchery.

“AIDS was, of course, His punishment for homosexuality, just as herpes was His wrathful response to the Sexual Revolution. What we’re seeing now across the country is, once again, the Lord using his tiniest creatures — viruses — to teach sinful humans a lesson.”

The earliest known zombie outbreak in the United States was reported in June 1964, just as pot use was emerging among hippies, the Baptist minister points out.

“This was literally days after Bob Dylan introduced the Beatles to ‘grass,’” Rev. Stintland notes. “Now, just as states like Alaska, Colorado and Oregon legalize marijuana, we’re seeing a record number of zombism sufferers. Can that be merely a coincidence? Logic tells us otherwise.”

LIGHT 'EM UP! Weed is now legal in many states.

LIGHT ‘EM UP! Weed is now legal in many states.

Statistics show a troubling rise in the bizarre ailment, called Sarcophagic Lazarus Syndrome by medical professionals. At least 675 cases nationwide were reported in 2014, three times the figure from the previous year. Yet government scientists dismiss Rev. Stintland’s claims.

“You don’t have to bring God or the supernatural into it to explain zombies,” observed a CDC insider. “It’s a matter of cold, hard science.”

According to the clergyman, the Almighty smacks the human race with epidemics from time to time for our own good.

“Our Lord is a loving God, but he is also a stern disciplinarian, not unlike a father who must sometimes take his children to the woodshed. He’s not above using biological warfare to whup some sense into mankind when we disobey His law,” explained Rev. Stintland, author of the upcoming book Germs From God.

SPANISH FLU was God's punishment for the senseless slaughter of  World War 1, according to expert.

SPANISH FLU was God’s punishment for the senseless slaughter of World War 1, according to expert.

Here, from the theologian, are other major epidemics and what God was punishing people for:

Plague of Athens (426-429 B.C., death toll 100,000) — Punishment for paganism
Black Death (1346 -1353 A.D., death toll 50 million) — Punishment for false piety, i.e. being “too” religious
Yellow Fever Epidemic (1793-1798, death toll 5,000 ) — Punishment for secular humanism
Cholera Pandemic (1816 -1828, death toll, 30,000) — Punishment for slave trade
Smallpox epidemic (1827-38, death toll 1800) — Punishment of Indians for resisting Manifest Destiny
Spanish Flu (1918-1920, death toll 75 million) — Punishment for World War I

“Contagious diseases don’t just happen,” the clergyman says. “They are God’s holy will.”

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING? In the 14th century, when the Black Death struck, belief in God was at an all time high.

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING? In the 14th century, when the Black Death struck, belief in God was at an all time high.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

SPEAKING OF ZOMBIES…

ZOMBIE master Robert Kirkman's graphic novel  "Thief of Thieves" is even better than his "The Walking Dead."

ZOMBIE master Robert Kirkman’s graphic novel “Thief of Thieves” is even better than his “The Walking Dead.”

As I prepare to launch my first graphic novel, I’ve been boning up on the format, and one of the best I’ve come across was written by Robert Kirkman of The Walking Dead fame. Thief of Thieves is even more cinematic than the zombie comic that spawned the hit TV series. It’s essentially a movie on paper. What makes it unusual is that it doesn’t look like a movie storyboard. The layout is almost entirely narrow rectangular panels that stretch across the page, stacked horizontally. As you get used to the steadfastly unchanging aspect ratio, it becomes like watching images flickering on the screen. The caper story, akin to a movie like The Italian Job, is twisty and adult. The charismatic, broad-shouldered, hairy chested hero is presented so vividly, you think, “They’ve really got to cast the same actor in the movie” — until you remember he’s not a real person!

CINEMATIC panel shape, realistic facial expressions and Kirkman's trademark  timing make "Thief of Thieves" feel like a movie.

CINEMATIC panel shape, realistic facial expressions and Kirkman’s trademark timing make “Thief of Thieves” feel like a movie.

In the purely horror vein, I’ve also become hip to Crossed. It’s a zombie apocalypse saga, but makes The Walking Dead seem optimistic and wholesome as milk by comparison. In this version of hell on earth, the infected legions don’t just cannibalize victims, they gleefully rape, sodomize and mutilate them in an orgy of violence. Then eat them — although in some cases, the atrocities are simultaneous.

PLAY BALL! Mayhem ensues when the contagion hits a football stadium.

PLAY BALL! Mayhem ensues when the contagion hits a football stadium.

The disease, which brands those who’ve been bitten (or otherwise taken in bodily fluids) with a distinctive cross-shaped rash on the face, erases all inhibitions, turning them into rage-fueled, sex-crazed killing machines who love to disfigure both hapless victims and themselves. Worse still, unlike your standard shambling walker, their minds still function — albeit far from rationally — allowing them to use weapons, drive cars and operate motorboats. Imagine 28 Days Later meets Road Warrior meets Hellraiser. Crossed is definitely adults only, due to the unrelenting sexual violence, and not for the faint of heart.

Speaking of crime dramas like Thief of Thieves, if you enjoyed the writing in this article by C. Michael Forsyth, you might enjoy his novel The Identity Thief.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.

“I Married a Leprechaun — And Now My Life is a Living Hell!”   Leave a comment

UNLIKE the evil imp who menaces Jennifer Anniston in the 1993 movie, most real leprechauns are reserved and gentlemanly.By C. Michael Forsyth

Susanne Dubhthach says the happiest day of her life came when she married a real-life leprechaun in 2011. But her dream wedding has turned into a nightmare thanks to her meddling in-laws who believe she’s a “gold digger.”

“They think I just married Gwrtheyrn to get my hands on his pot of gold,” Susanne told a Belfast newspaper tearfully. “But that’s not true. I love him with all my heart – and those two little monsters are doing everything in their power to drive a wedge between us.”

Susanne, 26, charges that mother-in-law Genovefa Dubhthach and her husband Corraidhin have pulled every trick in the book to torpedo her marriage, including:

* Tossing the traditional meal she’d prepared for a major festival in the garbage because it had “too many turnips. “
* Calling her a “barren wench” in front of a cottage-full of relatives for failing to produce grandchildren in four years of marriage.
* Stranding her for hours in a deep wood said to be inhabited by banshees.
* Using “the olde magyck” to turn her once porcelain-white skin an ugly beet red.

“I spent two days in the kitchen preparing that dish of rumbledethumps for the Grand Feast,” Susanne recalled. “When Genovefa tasted it, gave a look of disgust and threw it in the trash, it brought me to tears. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

SKEPTICAL of banks, many leprechauns still prefer to store their wealth in containers of gold known as crocks.

SKEPTICAL of banks, many leprechauns still prefer to store their wealth in containers of gold known as crocks.

As late as 1957, leprechauns were widely believed to be merely mythological creatures. But that year, anthropologists stumbled across a small population of the clannish, reclusive folks in a clutch of hamlets in Tipperary County. Experts believe the diminutive humans with distinctive pointy ears are descendants of the pint-sized inhabitants of the British Isles who dwelled there before the coming of the Celts in the fifth century B.C. Remarkably, many less-well-educated Americans still believe leprechauns are purely fictional. In a 2014 survey, a whopping 66 percent of Americans with a high school diploma or less agreed with the statement, “Leprechauns do not exist.”

“Leprechauns prefer to be known as ‘The Lurigadawne,” reveals reporter Colin O’Meadley, who interviewed the Dubhthaches. “They rarely wear green and they’re not too fond of the way their kind have been exploited by the tourist industry.”

Gwrtheyrn, 34, and his family operate a successful shoe-making business. He met attractive, redhead Susanne when she was working as a barmaid on the outskirts of the county, which leprechauns still call by its ancient name, Contae Thiobraid Árann.

“He came in for a pint, we talked and hit it off immediately,” Susanne recalled.

But when the pair began dating, Gwrtheyrn’s protective mom tried to put a kibosh on the relationship.

“She immediately ran credit and criminal background checks on me,” Susanne said. “She spent hours grilling me about my ‘intentions.’ That woman as much as accused me of being a hussy who only was interested in a man two feet shorter than me because he has this huge ‘crock of gold’ somewhere.”

The marriage ceremony held by a pond in Fairie Wood in May 2011 was like something out of a fairytale.

“We stood barefoot as a white witch tied our wrists together with a silver sash,” Susanne remembered wistfully. “I wore a garland in my hair and a band played traditional leprechaun music with pipes and drums.”

But since then, Susanne says nothing she does ever pleases her demanding mother-in-law. Mrs. Dubhthach insists her daughter-in-law is making a mountain out of a molehill.

“First of all, I think it shows how little Susanne has bothered to learn about her culture that she would suggest all leprechauns use ‘magic,’” she said. “If you have fair skin, red hair and decide to sunbathe in a skimpy swimsuit on the meadow where all the neighbors can see, of course you’re going to turn red.

“I’ve done everything possible to welcome Susanne into our home, despite her background, and one would think she would appreciate that.”

For his part Gwrtheyrn, 34, only wants peace under his roof.

“I just want Susanne and my mother to get along,” he told the reporter.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this whimsical tale by C. Michael Forsyth, you might enjoy his blackly funny thriller The Identity Thief.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.

Florida Governor Wards off Climate Change — Using Magic!   Leave a comment

CLIMATE change could soon put much of Florida underwater -- unless white magic licks the problem.

CLIMATE change could soon put much of Florida underwater — unless white magic licks the problem.

By C. Michael Forsyth

MIAMI, Florida — Governor Rick Scott has banned Florida officials from using the term “climate change” – and the age-old form of magic might actually save the state from global warming!

“This potent type of magic has been used to ward off danger since the dawn of human history,” explains Karyn Fultenbach, high priestess of a prominent Wiccan coven in Miami. “When a tribe encountered a sabretooth in a cave, the shaman would warn the others not to say the word ‘sabretooth.’ They would instead close their eyes and only use the word ‘cat.’ This would keep the early humans safe, and some experts believe this is actually how ordinary house cats evolved.”

The National Climate Assessment recently named Miami one of the U.S. cities most vulnerable to damage from rising sea levels. Experts have warned that the ocean could rise several feet, putting much of the state’s beautiful beachfront property underwater. So, soon after Scott was elected, employees of the Florida Department of Environmental Protection were sternly ordered to refrain from using the terms “climate change,” and “global warming” in official communications.

Fultenbach and her 12 fellow witches have written the governor recommending that the technique also be used to ward off specific natural disasters associated with climate change.

“He should also forbid the uses of the terms ‘flooding,’ ‘tsunami’ and ‘category 5 hurricane,’” she advises.

INNOVATIVE Gov. Rick Scott has turned to magic to keep sea levels from soon rising above tourists' heads.

INNOVATIVE Gov. Rick Scott has turned to magic to keep sea levels from soon rising above tourists’ heads.

The danger-denying form of white magic was used in ancient times to defeat demons, according to the Wiccan priestess.

“A demon god would often be referred to only as ‘He Whose Name Shall Not be Spoken,’” she reveals. “Forbidding people from mentioning it by name was a way to drive it from existence. This worked, and the concrete evidence is that few of those demon gods exist today.”

In the Middle Ages, practitioners of Wicca used the white magic technique to protect their villages from the Black Plague.

“If a stranger wandered into town covered with oozing sores, white witches would warn the people never to utter the word plague. So no one could catch the disease,” says the 43-year-old Wiccan.

GOOD witches have been using white magic to ward off disasters for centuries.

GOOD witches have been using white magic to ward off disasters for centuries.

Ironically, the lifesaving acts led to the demise of many witches. Fearful and suspicious church officials, who thought only the Devil could have spared the isolated towns, often had the witches burned at the stake.

Not everyone thinks that using white magic to battle climate change makes sense.

“It sounds crazy,” says Gus Quelby of the conservative group Florida Citizens for Common Sense. “So crazy it just might work. But resorting to paganism is dangerous. We’re a Christian state. Even if using magic does prevent global warming from affecting Florida, it goes completely against the teachings of Jesus.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

if you enjoyed this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his novel The Blood of Titans.


"The Blood of Titans" is a tale of love and adventure set in the Golden Age of Africa.

“The Blood of Titans” is a tale of love and adventure set in the Golden Age of Africa.

Most Real Zombies Subsist on Berries, Nuts, Study Shows   Leave a comment

Zombie herds typically forage for berries, nuts and low-hanging fruit.

Zombie herds typically forage for berries, nuts and low-hanging fruit.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Surprise! Most real-life zombies subsist on a diet of berries and nuts, researchers now say – a far cry from Hollywood’s depiction of them as fierce cannibals.

“Zombies are what anthropologists call gatherers,” explains Dr. Henry Coblinsaw, chief author of a recently published study. “Their digestive system has atrophied, making it very difficult to digest meat. And because of their familiar shambling gait, chasing game such as deer or stray dogs is not an option, likewise humans, of course.”

Climbing trees is also impossible, so only low-hanging fruit is on the menu. Wild berries and nuts that have fallen to the ground are a zombie’s most commonly consumed food source.

“An Arizona zombie that was dissected in 2012 was found to have six walnuts in its stomach,” the expert reveals.

"No thanks. Have any walnuts?" Real zombies do not eat rats, contrary to this scene in The Walking Dead.

“No thanks. Have any walnuts?” Real zombies do not eat rats, contrary to this scene in The Walking Dead.

In movies like Night of the Living Dead and the hit TV series The Walking Dead, zombies are shown ripping ordinary people apart and feeding on their body parts. But with slowly decaying muscles and low levels of adrenaline, real zombies simply don’t have the strength or energy to do that. According to the researcher, there have been only eight cases of zombies eating human flesh since 1905.

Brain damage due to the loss of oxygen between death and revival is another factor that explains their dietary restrictions.

“Zombies are quite docile, which is what made them such easily controlled fieldworkers in Haiti from the 1700s up until the 1930s,” notes Dr. Coblinsaw. “They rely on the most primitive instincts residing in the surviving areas of the brain. That means eating fruit, nuts and berries like our tree-dwelling ape-like ancestors.”

The only real hazard zombies present to normal people is when a herd ambles through a strawberry patch, field of corn or other crops.

“They are a real pest to farmers,” says the researcher. “They pass through a cornfield, stripping the stalks bare like locusts. The only solution farmers have found is to post ‘scarecrows,’ cardboard cutouts of figures with chainsaws or cricket bats.”

CARDBOARD cutouts like this one in an Iowa cornfield are used to ward off zombies and protect crops.

CARDBOARD cutouts like this one in an Iowa cornfield are used to ward off zombies and protect crops.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

This story was written by the author of the acclaimed horror novel Hour of the Beast. Check it out along with his other books HERE.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

7 Ways to Recognize Your Personal White Savior   Leave a comment

Troubled Michael (Quinton Aaron) finds his life turned around by his white savior played by Sandra Bullock in the hit movie The Blind Side."

Troubled Michael (Quinton Aaron) finds his life turned around by his white savior played by Sandra Bullock in the hit movie The Blind Side.

By C. Michael Forsyth

ATLANTA — Every black person has their own personal white savior, a flesh and blood “guardian angel” whose mission is to watch over them and help them achieve their goals.

That’s the surprising claim of the Reverend Tyrone Hugston, a theologian and author of the upcoming book, Finding your White Savior.

“It’s important to know how to recognize your white savior and accept their guidance,” he says. “This special guardian may take any form – an inner city school teacher, a caring coach, a journalist, a wealthy adoptive parent, even a law officer. Yes, it’s theoretically possible to achieve your dreams without the
help of your white savior, but the path is a whole lot easier if you turn your life over to them.”

The white savior, although a normal human being, is sent by God, according to the minister.

“The Almighty was terribly upset by slavery,” he explains. “When it ended, He decided that to heal those who had suffered so much, to every black child born, a white child would be assigned to look after them.”

White saviors often do not consciously know that they are mystically linked to their wards.

“They simply find themselves inexplicably drawn to the place where their counterpart is – whether it is a ghetto or an isolated rural town,” says Rev. Hugston. “They are driven to aid their often helpless and confused black charge.”

Here, according to the clergyman, are 7 ways you can recognize your white savior.

1. The person doesn’t appear to “fit in.” He or she might be the only white teacher in a school, for example.
2. The person seems to radiate love for black people.
3. The person almost magically sees solutions you’ve never thought of before.
4. You sense a child-parent bond developing with the person
5. The person never gives up on you – even when you give up on yourself.
6. Other black people – to whom the white savior was not sent to guide – express hostility to the person.
7. You feel an instinctive resentment toward the person for “butting in,” a feeling that gradually changes into love and admiration.

“If you have difficulty identifying your personal savior and find yourself asking in frustration, ‘Where is my white savior?’ don’t give up,” Rev. Hugston advises. “If you are truly incapable, your savior will save the day by finding you.”

MANY black people are helpless failures until they're rescued by a white savior like the angelic inner-city teacher played by Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds.

MANY black people are helpless failures until they’re rescued by a white savior like the angelic inner-city teacher played by Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this story by the writer, C. Michael Forsyth, you might enjoy his novel The Identity Thief.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.

SATAN’S CHEERLEADERS: 1 in 7 Squads Worship the Devil, Researcher Claims   1 comment

Hundreds of cheerleaders nationwide are in league with the Devil, unlike these characters in the hit movie "Bring It On."

Thousands of cheerleaders nationwide are in league with the Devil, unlike these wholesome, all-American characters in the hit movie “Bring It On.”

By C. Michael Forsyth

AMHERST, Mass. — Bubbly college cheerleaders are living symbols of squeaky-clean purity. But shockingly, 1 in 7 of the baton-twirling beauties are willing tools of Satan, according to a leading expert in the occult.

“These young women sell their souls for beauty and popularity,” declares Bob Sertesko, a Massachusetts-based cult-watcher. “The price is that they must use their enthusiastic chants and gymnastic feats to draw crowds over to the dark side.”

Sertesko reached his alarming conclusion after spending 4 ½ years carefully observing cheerleaders at scores of college football and basketball games.

“I recorded their chants and played them backward — and words cropped up that would make your hair stand on end,” he reveals. “There are prayers to Babylonian demons, as well as phrases in English such as ‘Bow down before your lord and master Lucifer,’” the researcher says.

Typically, the perky, pom-pom-shaking pawns of Satan become increasingly brazen over the course of the school year, as they successfully recruit more and more sports fans.

Claims the expert, “At one football game I attended, the cheerleaders openly chanted, ‘Satan, Satan, he’s our man, you can’t stop him, no one can. Give me an S, give me an A, give me a T, give me an A, give me an N … Satan!”

The Hell-bound hotties choreograph their routines to brainwash unsuspecting onlookers.

RAUNCHY routines like these are designed to corrupt the souls of male sports fans, expert reveals

RAUNCHY routines like these are designed to corrupt the souls of male sports fans, according to researcher.

“I have accumulated a vast collection of video footage of cheerleaders flaunting their bodies in a lascivious manner designed to corrupt the male mind,” Sertesko notes. “On rare occasion, they perform tricks only possible with supernatural aid, such as rotating the upper torso 360 degrees at the waist.”

Satan’s cheerleaders commonly use their formations to create sinister symbols such as the pentagram, an ancient symbol of black magic, according to the researcher. Frighteningly, the Evil One has even made inroads into cheerleading squads at the nation’s most prestigious Christian college.

“At one game, 16 cheerleaders faced me forming a cross,” the expert says. “So far, so good, but when I went to the opposite side of the field, I saw that from that angle, their bodies then formed an UPSIDE DOWN cross – an age-old Satanic symbol.”

Young women who accept Satan as their savior reap considerable rewards. A girl who was homely in high school may suddenly experience a drastic improvement in her appearance.

“Acne clears up; tubby girls develop the trim figures of supermodels; mousy brown hair turns radiantly blond,” explains the researcher. “I’ve spent literally hundreds of man hours scrutinizing the video footage. It shows how girls who were previously flat as an ironing board sprout busts that would make Jayne Mansfield green with envy, and high, taut rear ends.”

Cheerleaders who are in league with the Devil are among the most popular on campus – in part due to the fact that they have sex with practically everyone.

“They are like succubae who wantonly seduce male students and professors – and even lure innocent coeds into their sexual snare,” the researcher warns.

Fledgling cheerleaders are initiated into a Satanic coven in a macabre ceremony involving nudity, candles and the sacrifice of live chickens.

“The cheerleaders vow allegiance to Lucifer,” says Sertesko. “It is a choice they will come to regret when they find themselves suffering eternal damnation in the bowels of Hell.”

By C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, you might enjoy his novel Hour of the Beast.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

Posted February 17, 2015 by C. Michael Forsyth in Uncategorized

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