By C. Michael Forsyth
NEWARK, NJ — Four women have died in bizarre freak accidents after wearing the same pair of pink panties!
Paranormal investigators believe the undies may be cursed — and warn that anyone else foolish enough to don them may suffer a similar fate.
“This is the second strangest case of the supernatural I have ever investigated,” declared researcher Dan Greavesby, director of the New Jersey Institute for Paranormal Research, in Edison. “This garment is completely ordinary in its appearance and manufacture. How and why it inflicts such deadly harm is a dumbfounding mystery.”
The tragic chain of events began last April, when 19-year-old college sophomore Amber Walyde was electrocuted by her blow dryer. The device short-circuited, sending more than 2,500 volts ripping through her body, a medical examiner determined.
“After Amber’s clothes were returned by the morgue, her roommate Madison Prevetski threw them in the wash, intending to box them up with the deceased girl’s other possessions and send them to her family,” says Greavesby.
“The panties accidentally got mixed up with Madison’s own clothes. Four days later, while wearing the panties, she was struck by a runaway Segway and died instantly.”
The panties were inherited by Madison’s kid sister Raven, 16.
“We almost threw them out, but Raven thought they were really cute,” recalls the girls’ mother Rhonda, 47. “They were very bright and had the word ‘sexy’ on the back.”
Bubbly, popular, strawberry-blonde cheerleader Raven survived for three weeks, during which time it’s believed she wore the panties on two occasions without mishap. But the third time, her luck ran out.
“Raven was dancing around in her room in her underwear, listening to Lady Gaga on her iPod, when a bumble bee flew in the window and stung her on the inner thigh,” reveals the researcher.
“It turns out she was allergic. She went into anaphylactic shock and died aboard the ambulance as she was rushed to the hospital.”
It was then that the doomed teen’s distraught mom finally put two and two together.
“I stood looking at Raven’s swollen corpse on the hospital gurney, wearing only her favorite old Mickey Mouse T-shirt and those damnable pink panties,” Rhonda says. “I remembered that those were the same ones that Madison was wearing when she died.
“I knew then and there that they were evil.”
Raven’s clothes, including the unlucky undies, were sent home in a plastic bag.
“The entire drive home Rhonda was babbling hysterically about the panties, and how they had to be destroyed ‘before anyone else gets hurt,’ ” says her husband Tony, 50.“I tried to calm her down and promised I would give them away to the Salvation Army. But she kept saying they had to be burned.
“Now I wished I’d listened to her, but instead I stuffed the underwear in my desk drawer and gave Rhonda a fistful of my mother’s old anti-anxiety pills. That knocked her right out.”
For several days, the grieving mom walked around “like a zombie” according to relatives, too zonked out to think about cursed panties or anything else. But the day of the funeral, she started up again, shouting in the middle of the eulogy that she had to go home and burn the undergarments in the fireplace.
“She was still going on about it at the gravesite,” remembers Tony. “My sister Sandy, who’d flown in from Seattle, tried to talk her down. She told my wife that she was being silly, that ordinary cotton panties couldn’t plot against people.
“She said that to prove the panties were harmless, she’d wear them herself. Rhonda totally lost it and the only way we could console her was for Sis to assure her that she’d never touch those panties.”
About two hours later, at the family home in Newark, mourners gathered in the living room for light refreshments. There were 37 people in the large room, which boasted a 20-foot ceiling and a large ceiling fan.
The mood was somber but relaxed and it looked like everything was returning to normal when Tony’s sister Sandy came down the stairs. She called for everyone’s attention and said that she had an announcement. To the surprise of all who were present, she lifted up the front of her dress — revealing that she was wearing the perilous pink panties!
“Sandy was a size 16, so they didn’t fit her the way they fit my daughter, but there was no mistaking them,” Tony says. “Sandy gave this triumphant smile and said, ‘See what I mean? There’s no such thing as cursed underwear.’
“When I saw those panties, alarm bells went off in my head. Acting on gut instinct, I dove for Sis, hoping against hope that I could rip them off in time. But it was too late. At that moment the ceiling fan fell and decapitated her.”
Greavesby, who is careful to always wear lead-lined gloves while handling the mysterious panties, says he’s traced them back to a factory in the Phillipines.
“Many of the indigenous people practice a form of black magic,” he reveals. “It’s possible that a disgruntled, underpaid worker at the sweatshop put a curse on the underwear. Or, perhaps someone died tragically at the facility and his or her spirit has possessed the panties.”
For now, the panties are being stored in a titanium safe at the New Jersey Institute for Paranormal Research.
“We believe that as long as the panties don’t come into contact with human flesh, they can do no harm,” explains Greavesby. “But until the mystery is solved, it is imperative that no one wears those panties again.”
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth. All Rights Reserved