Contest Offers Teen Inventors $1 Million For Best Spanking Machine.   Leave a comment

Currently,the Robospanker is the most sophisticated useful means of disciplining high schoolers available.

The Robospanker is one of the most useful means of disciplining high schoolers available.

By C. Michael Forsyth

MOBILE, Alabama — Attention all nerds! A family values activist is offering a hefty $1 million award to the high school student who invents the best high-tech new spanking machine.

Businessman Carl Bettslinger believes that such a device is needed now more than ever in schools and in homes – and he’s willing to put his money where his mouth is.

“Corporal punishment has been banned in many public schools by misguided liberals, but thank God, we still have it in hundreds of Christian schools around the country,” Bettslinger explains.

“The trouble is it’s hard to deliver consistent blows to make it fair for each student. Some older principals get tired or lose count. And unfortunately many younger principals who’ve been brainwashed by the ‘time out’ crowd are hesitant to paddle. A spanking machine takes out the human element.”

The breakup of families, which Bettslinger describes as a sad byproduct of the feminist movement, has spawned a problem at home as well.

“You have a lot of stepdads who want to perform their duty as head of the household, but feel awkward giving a bare-bottomed spanking to a teenaged step daughter,” says pro-family crusader. “They’d feel more at ease letting a machine carry out the job.”

PRIMITIVE Spanking machines, like this German device used to discipline factory workers, have been in use since the 1800s.

PRIMITIVE spanking machines, like this German device used to discipline factory workers, have been in use since the 1800s.

A variety of spanking machines have been patented as far back as the 19th century and Bettslinger hails as “a remarkable technical achievement” the Robospanker introduced in 2004. But he believes that a far more sophisticated device is feasible with today’s technology.

“With state-of-the-art computer software on board, the machine could have settings for different striking power based on the severity of the infraction,” Bettslinger enthused. “A 15-year-old girl who sasses a teacher or wears a short skirt that violates the dress code might get a 2 or 3. If she smokes in the bathroom, that might rate a 6.”

The gizmo could also store and recall data on each student and automatically ratchet up the setting for repeat offenses. In addition, stroke speed could be adjusted to hurry things along when multiple students have to be paddled in a short period of time.

The invention competition is open to kids 14 to 18. Bettslinger, who has donated upwards of $3.5 million to family values groups in the past, hopes that the lure of a big reward will inspire high school science wizards around the country to put their thinking caps on.

“They should also be thinking about what a great service they’re doing for their peers at school,” he points out.

“That popular cheerleader may not give ‘four eyes’ the time of day when they pass in the hall. But if he can do something to keep her on the right moral path – for example with an effective chastisement for necking behind the gym –- she will owe him an incredible debt of gratitude.”

ALSO FROM THE WRITER OF THIS ARTICLE…

In a new novel by the author of this article, the creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world's most famous escape artist probe a paranormal mystery.

In a new novel by the author of this article, the creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s most famous escape artist probe a paranormal mystery.

The author of this article wrote Hour of the Beast, which grabs you by the jugular in the first few pages and doesn't let go. In Chapter One, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. After that, things start to get out of hand.

To check out Hour of the Beast and hear Chapter One read FREE click HERE! It’s available on Amazon.com, but you can save $4 by ordering it on the website. There’s a Kindle edition and The Ebook is a measly $5.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: