BATTLE OF THE BABES: Stormy vs. Melania
Feisty adult movie actress Stormy Daniels, President Trump’s alleged gal pal, has won the hearts of millions of Americans. The overnight sensation is so popular, some voters now believe our hot-to-trot commander in chief should kick his wife Melania to the curb—and make the super-sexy porn queen his next First Lady!
“Stormy is not only younger and hotter than Melania, she’s much wittier and more personable–and unlike Melania, she was born right here in America,” enthused one ardent member of team Stormy. “She’s a savvy businesswoman who came from nothing and made it to the top, which is what this country is all about. She would make an unconventional and fascinating First Lady.”
This wouldn’t be the first time President Trump has traded in a spouse for a newer model. He cheated on first wife Ivana Trump and divorced her in 1992 to marry mistress Marla Maples, then cheated on Marla, dumped her in 1999, and married model girlfriend Melania.
Wife No. 1 Ivana Trump
Wife No. 2 Marla Maples
“If history is any guide, Mr. Trump is due for an upgrade,” points out a Capitol Hill insider. “Melania is 47 and showing wear and tear. Stormy is 38. She also bears as a closer resemblance to his daughter Ivanka as the President himself noted, which is a real plus in his book.”
Most Americans had never heard of the bosomy bombshell until the story surfaced that she and the Prez had a steamy affair. While furious fans of the flamboyant billionaire have raked her over the coals for sullying their leader’s reputation, observers give her high marks for wit in the face of adversity. When one Trump supporter blasted her as a “scank” on Twitter, she calmly tweeted back, “The correct spelling is skank.”
Stormy has won numerous prestigious awards in her industry, including Best New Starlet, Best Breasts and Best Performance in a Safe Sex Scene. The actress was inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame in 2014. What’s more, her brains match her beauty. She’s also an award-winning screenwriter and director. While it may be hard to imagine the bottom-baring blonde rubbing shoulders with Washington big wigs, she’s no stranger to the political scene. Stormy launched a campaign against Republican Senator David Vitter in Louisiana in 2010.
If Trump marries Stormy, she would be the sexiest First Lady in U.S. history.
However, defenders of Melania insist it’s too soon to count her out. They note that the Slovenian immigrant was given special permission to enter the United States because of an unspecified “special talent.”
“That suggests that she’s sort of a genius in one area,” says a voter who wants Melania to hang onto the First Lady job. “And remember, Stormy is no spring chicken either. Porn sites now describe her as a MILF.”
What do you think? Do you belong to team Melania or team Stormy?
If you enjoyed this political satire by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his books here.
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