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Kim Jong Un to U.S. : Turn over Wolf Girl or “Face Annihilation.”   Leave a comment

Wolf Girl Update

HUNTED: Photo of Wolf Girl taken in squalid “human zoo” prior to her escape.

By C. Michael Forsyth

PYONGYANG — A month after North Korea’s famous wolf girl escaped from her cell beneath the palace of Kim Jong Un, the depraved dictator has accused the U.S. of sheltering the fugitive freak of nature in a secret C.I.A. safe house.

In a rambling, 11-minute speech on state-run television, the dangerously unstable tyrant demanded that President Donald Trump turn her over – or else.

“The Wolf Girl is a national treasure and the property of the people of North Korea,” the pudgy strongman declared. “If she is not returned within 72 hours, America will face absolute annihilation. We will unleash our mighty nuclear arsenal and the people’s missiles will reduce the city of Washington to ashes.”

The Wolf Girl, who is covered head to toe in fur-like hair, is believed to suffer from a rare birth defect called congenital universal hypertrichosis. Her heartbreaking plight first came to light when human-rights activists revealed the existence of Kim’s sick private “zoo” stocked with at least 150 human oddities beneath the presidential palace. Ironically, the diminutive despot showed little concern for the welfare of the pitiful 17-year-old creature before her daring escape from the squalid cell where she’d been held since infancy.

“Kim mistreated the Wolf Girl terribly whenever he visited his human menagerie,” revealed a palace source. “He would prod her with his walking stick and squeal with delight when she snarled.”

Kim Jong Un

MADMAN Kim Jong Un gleefully mistreated the Wolf Girl when she was in his clutches.

The extreme urgency North Korea has attached to recapturing the Wolf Girl appears to be politically motivated. During her weeks on the lam, she became a symbol of freedom to peasants suffering under Kim’s brutal communist regime.

“The government cannot allow such a living symbol to remain free,” explained the insider. “It is a threat to Kim’s authority.”

The U.S. government has neither confirmed nor denied that it has given refuge to the mute teen, who communicates only in grunts, yips and howls, and crawls about on all fours. But a reliable State Department source claims that dissidents delivered her to American agents after she was found wandering the streets of the capital.

“She was naked, with her fur caked in mud and filth,” he revealed. “She was wild-eyed and terrified, nipping at anyone who tried to help her.”

Trump signing

DAY OF DECISION: President Donald Trump

Now President Trump is facing the greatest moral dilemma of his young presidency.

“This is a real profiles-in-courage moment,” the State Department source stated. “The President has to decide which is more important: The freedom of one brave girl whom many might consider one of ‘Mother Nature’s mistakes’ or the safety of 325 million Americans.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

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GAL’S BIZARRE INDECENT EXPOSURE DEFENSE: “I’M A WEREWOLF!”   12 comments

EVEN GOOD GIRLS can become werewolves, as illustrated here by artist Kacey Miyagami

By C. Michael Forsyth

BUDAPEST, Hungary – When police found a stark-naked woman asleep on a park bench and arrested her for indecent exposure, she offered a novel excuse for her undignified state. The buxom blonde claimed that she’s a werewolf who shed her clothes to romp under the full moon the night before!

“In my 32 years on the bench, I thought I’d heard everything, but this takes ‘weird’ to a new level,” Judge Bartalan Gyori declared.

Irenke Fodor, a 28-year-old factory worker, was discovered on the east side of Varolsliget Park on the morning of October 17, police say.

“She was sprawled out with her legs wide apart, completely naked,” says police officer Peterke Bakos, who made the eye-popping discovery while on patrol with his female partner. “Her hair was a tangled mess, full of leaves, and her body was caked in mud. She was snoring loudly and it took several pokes with our batons to rouse her.

“We naturally assumed she was a party girl who’d had one too many at one of the local bars, stripped and went frolicking in the park.”

Fellow officer Anasztaizia Kardo says, “It was disgusting. She looked like a kurva (total skank). When we finally woke her, she leapt up and tried frantically to cover up her wares – as if she hadn’t put them on lewd display the night before. I frisked her, while my partner read the filthy little hussy her rights.”

The cops slapped handcuffs on the buck-naked beauty and carted her off to jail. It looked like an open and shut case – until Irenke’s lawyer stunned the courtroom at a preliminary hearing.

“My client’s position is that her garments were torn off when, without her volition, she transformed into a werewolf,” attorney Rezso Jozsa told the judge. “There was no criminal intent to expose herself indecently.”

The case has created a stir among court-watchers and Irenke has become a minor celebrity, nicknamed the “Naked Wolf  Girl” by courthouse wags.

Due to harsh laws dating back to the werewolf panic of the 1700s, the young woman faces up to six years behind bars, should she plead guilty to the “crime” of lycanthropy. That’s a far stiffer penalty than the 30 days in jail and 100,000 forint (about $500 U.S) fine she would likely receive if convicted for the first time of indecent exposure. Yet, ignoring her attorney’s pleas, she stubbornly intends to cop a plea to the more serious crime at her next hearing, set for November 24.

“I want people to know that I am a decent woman,” Irenke told a reporter adamantly. “I am not some boozing slut.”

Copyright 2010, C. Michael Forsyth

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