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DRACULA’S GAY SHAME: Historian Finds Skeleton in Vlad’s Closet.   Leave a comment

HERO or HOMOPHOBE? Prince Vlad, AKA Dracula, had mixed record on human rights.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Vlad the Impaler, better known as Dracula, took a shameful secret to his grave. He murdered his own kid brother because he was gay!

“Contrary to popular belief, the real-life Dracula was not a vampire,” reveals Romanian historian Eugen Croitoru. “Quite the opposite, the 15th century warlord was one of history’s most prolific vampire slayers — impaling as many as 100,000 of the undead on wooden stakes during his reign.

“His younger brother Radu WAS, however a vampire, and Vlad drove a stake through his heart with his own hands. Not because Radu drank blood — but rather because he was a homosexual.”

GENTLE Radu the Handsome was easily seduced into vampirism.

Prince Vlad III of Wallachia, upon whom author Bram Stoker based the aristocratic bloodsucker of his novel Dracula, is regarded as a national hero by Romanian historians.

That’s because he singlehandedly repelled the Ottoman Empire’s invasion of their homeland and thus prevented the Muslim Turks from overrunning Europe. The fact that the invading Turkish army was infested with vampires is left out of most accounts.

“Just as Australian historians play down the country’s origins as a penal colony, most Romanian historians are embarrassed to talk about vampirism,” explains Croitoru. “But trying to keep vampires out of the Vlad story is like trying to tell the story of Native Americans without bringing up buffaloes.”

Prince Vlad is a national hero in Romania.

Vlad III was born in Transylvania, a region adjacent to Wallachia in what is now Romania, in 1431. His moniker Dracula meant “son of the Dragon.” While he had two older half-brothers, he was closest to his sweet and gentle kid brother, aptly named Radu the Handsome.

“Vlad and Radu were inseparable,” recounts Croitoru. “They spent their early years playing ‘soldier’ and other games together in their mother’s home. But when the boys were in their early teens, their father agreed to send them as hostages to the Ottoman court, to keep peace with the Sultan.”

The Sultan had promised the young princes would not be harmed, but soon after they arrived, he demanded that they renounce their Christian faith and drink vampire blood.

“Vlad defiantly refused. He was tossed in an underground dungeon where he was whipped and beaten daily,” says Croitoru. “But, despite years of torture, he never cracked.

“His softer, younger brother Radu didn’t have the strength to resist. He eventually knuckled under and converted to Islam. He also allowed himself to be bitten and to drink the blood of the Sultan’s son Mehmed II, who, according to the historical record, was a vampire.

“Vlad was horrified and heartbroken when guards gleefully told him that his brother had not only become a Muslim but a vampire as well.

“But if he had known the full story, he would have been even more mortified. Mehmed was gay, and Radu’s pretty face and pale skin caught his eye. He seduced Radu, converting him into a homosexual too.”

Vlad managed to get free, but Radu — now a full-fledged vampire — chose to remain behind. He became a member of the Ottoman court and a fawning minion of his vampire “sire” Mehmed II. When Mehmed’s father died and he was crowned the new Sultan, he put his sweetheart Radu in charge of a battalion made up largely of fearsome undead troops.

After Vlad’s father and his older brothers were killed by the enemy, Vlad inherited the throne of Wallachia and took a bride — only to learn that the Mehmed II had dispatched Radu and his unholy army of darkness to destroy him.

“Radu did his master’s bidding without mercy,” says Croitoru. “When Vlad was away fighting, Radu’s battalion besieged his castle. Vlad’s wife learned that she was to about be taken prisoner and forcibly vampirized.

“She bravely hurled herself from the tower into the Argeș River, declaring that she would rather ‘rot and be eaten by the fish’ than join the ranks of the undead. When Vlad later learned his own brother was responsible, he was devastated — yet knew that as a victim of vampirism himself, Radu was not truly to blame.”

GAY vampire Sultan Mehmed II aimed to conquer Eastern Europe.

With immensely strong and hard-to-kill vampires now making up an estimated one-third of his forces, Mehmed II became unstoppable. After capturing Constantinople in 1453, his armies marched through the Balkans, killing or converting all those who stood in his way. His goal was to drive out Christianity and turn all of Europe into a bastion of evil.

But Vlad had other ideas.

“He transformed Wallachia’s joke of an army into a formidable fighting force, and created a militia of peasants to fend off the invaders,” says Croitoru. “Though vastly outnumbered, he mounted a fierce guerilla campaign against the Turks.”

The Sultan dispatched an army 12,000 men strong to conquer Wallachia, led by a high-ranking vampire lord named Hamza Pasha.

“When the troops were marching through a narrow pass north of Giurgiu, Vlad staged an ambush. The Wallachians showed no mercy. The vampires were all caught and impaled on wooden stakes, with their general Hamza Pasha impaled on the highest stake as a message to the Sultan.”

VAMPIRE SLAYER Vlad the Impaler earns his nickname as he oversees the mass execution of hundreds of captured Turkish blood drinkers.

Vlad went on the offensive, annihilating enemy troops from Serbia to the Black Sea. He constantly organized small surprise attacks on the Turks, using bold tricks not unlike those later employed by America’s Revolutionary War hero Francis Marion, the Swamp Fox.

“Disguising themselves in the traditional garb of Turkish vampire warriors, he and his men infiltrated enemy encampments and used stakes to dispatch scores of Turks at a time,” the historian says.

“He even struck at night — an unprecedented strategy when facing this kind of enemy. With the element of surprise on his side, the famous Night Attack succeeded. He was able slaughter hundreds of vampires before they could even draw their weapons.”

THE EVIL EMPIRE: Turkish invasion swept over Eastern Europe, bringing with it the scourge of vampirism.

Furious, in the spring of 1462, the Sultan raised an army of 90,000 troops and personally led them toward Wallachia.

“When the Sultan and his troops crossed the Danube, they found the bank lined with the corpses of 20,000 vampires impaled on 14-foot-stakes. They were so horrified that they turned tail in terror and returned to Constantinople,” says Croitoru.

“Basically, their reaction was, ‘Yes, we know these are the bloody Middle Ages, but this mother f_____ is crazy!’ ”

Enraged at being thwarted and humiliated by Vlad time after time, the Sultan gave Radu a huge army with marching orders to take down his brother once and for all. After a grueling battle, Radu and his better-equipped forces finally captured Poenari Castle, Vlad’s famed mountain lair. The Sultan appointed his loyal boytoy Radu the Handsome the new ruler of Wallachia. And the deposed Vlad soon found himself imprisoned in a dungeon — again.

“For more than a decade, Vlad languished in a prison cell as a steady stream of henchmen (and lovely henchwomen) sent by his brother tried — again — to convert the stubborn prince to vampirism,” says Croitoru. “Sometimes he would be left in a cell for weeks at a time with no food and only a tempting goblet of blood on his table. But always the strong-willed Vlad resisted.

“Finally, one stormy night in 1475, Radu arranged to meet his brother in secret face to face, hoping to convince him that joining him on the dark side was his only hope.”

Although 40 years old by this time, Radu still looked like a handsome lad in his teens, his skin smooth and his “lips as full as any woman’s” in the words of a Hungarian account dug up by the researcher in 2009.

“Vlad bitterly demanded to know why his beloved brother could have abandoned the Christian faith and taken up arms against his own people,” says Croitoru. “Hoping for understanding, Radu confessed that he had acted out of love for Mehmed II and that they were lovers.

“Vlad was infuriated. He could forgive his brother for becoming a Muslim and a vampire, yes, for killing his wife, yes, and for usurping his throne, yes — but not for submitting sexually to another man. To a deeply religious Orthodox Christian like Vlad, such an act was an abominable sin.”

Although he was unarmed at the sit-down, Vlad picked up a heavy wooden chair and smashed it over Radu’s head. Then, consumed with rage, he took a broken chair leg and rammed the sharp tip through his brother’s heart.

With his brother dead, Vlad retook the throne of Wallachia on November 26, 1476. His hatred and loathing of the enemy that had turned his kid brother into a gay vampire now drove him to the brink of insanity.

NO MORE MR. NICE GUY. Vlad’s “enhanced” impaling technique was a real pain in the keister.

“Instead of traditional chest-staking, captured undead soldiers were now lowered naked onto a huge stake described as ‘thick as a burly man’s arm,’ and deliberately dull at the tip so that death would come slowly,” Croitoru explains.

“The vampire’s weight would cause the victim to slowly sink onto the immense stake as it entered the anus, ripped its way inch by inch through the organs until, mercifully, it penetrated the vampire’s heart.

“It was a very undignified and excruciating death — which was exactly what Vlad intended. He was sending a message to Sultan Mehmed II, the man who had both vampirized his younger brother and introduced him to sodomy.”

Vlad’s relentless, take-no-prisoners campaign worked like a charm. Mehmed II eventually withdrew from the Balkans, his dreams of glory and world domination crushed. His existence remains today only an interesting historical footnote.

Sadly, Vlad lived for only another year before he died, a grief and guilt-ridden man who never got over the fate of the young brother he once so loved.

“Prince Vlad is rightly remembered as a valiant patriot and one of history’s greatest vampire killers,” observes the historian. “But for the sake of historical accuracy, he must also be remembered as one of history’s greatest homophobes.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

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New Therapy That “Flips” Lesbian Teens to Bisexual Gets OK From Gay Groups.   Leave a comment

AC/DC: Actresses and Sarah Michelle Gellar give bisexuality a shot in "Cruel Intentions."

AC/DC: Actresses Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar give bisexuality a shot in “Cruel Intentions.”

By C. Michael Forsyth

TRENTON, N.J. — Gay rights activists, family values crusaders and men’s organizations all see merit in a new form of therapy that trains teenage girls to be bisexual.

Known as Best of Both Worlds Therapy, the treatment takes girls leaning toward lesbianism, but still on the fence, and helps cement their orientation as bisexual instead.

Droves of psychologists have been taking seminars in the approach, in anticipation of a pending New Jersey law that would make it illegal for a licensed therapist to try to “convert” a gay minor to heterosexuality.

“Politics is all about compromise,” explains Ron Whulbred of the U.S. Association for Christian Values. “Of course, in a perfect world, we’d like every American girl to be a red-blooded heterosexual. But we’d certainly prefer her to be bisexual than all the way gay.”

Some gay rights groups, while still wary of Best of Both Worlds Therapy, see it as a vast improvement over Conversion Therapy, also known as “Reparative Therapy.” And even men’s organizations that are sometimes viewed as stuck in the 1970s when it comes to sexuality give a thumbs up to the 12-week program.

“It’s a win-win,” enthuses Rick Scraszholtz, president of Fairness for Men. “Every guy in America wishes his girlfriend was bi. Anyone who can convince thousands of teenage cheerleaders to swing both ways is doing a service to the whole male race.”

The therapy is aimed at “at risk” teens, girls who appear to be tomboys, eschew makeup, excel in traditionally lesbian sports such as softball or fixate on attractive female pop stars like Katy Perry.

“Typically you’ll have a girl of 16 or 17 who has had a boyfriend, then gets drunk at a party and starts kissing another female,” says therapist Dr. Herbert L. Pachivski. “She’ll panic and thinks she’s gay. Her distraught parents, often devoutly religious, will bring her in for counseling. Through talk therapy, I’ll show her that while, yes, she’s attracted to women, she’s probably bisexual, not a lesbian. The relief these girls feel is palpable.”

THREE'S COMPANY? Most men would love to have a girlfriend like scorching hot starlet Megan Fox, who is openly bisexual.

THREE’S COMPANY? Most men would love to have a girlfriend like smoking hot starlet Megan Fox, who is openly bisexual.

A California law signed by Gov. Jerry Brown last year put the kibosh on Conversion Therapy, branding efforts to flip homosexuals discredited “quackery” that could have a harmful impact on impressionable young gays. But a judge slapped an injunction on the law and as of last week, a federal appeals court in San Francisco was still hearing arguments about it. The New Jersey bill, which recently cleared a state senate panel, is also in jeopardy and some gay organizations consider Best of Both Worlds Therapy an acceptable compromise.

As one lesbian rights activist put it, “We’d rather have young women ‘batting for both teams’ than be strictly on the other side.”

But the innovative therapy has a handful of adamant critics in the LGBT community.

“This sounds to me a lot like certain anti-gay psychologists are trying to make an end run around the law,” declares openly gay journalist Genelle McAverbee. “You’re born either straight, gay or bisexual and nobody can change it, unless you go to prison or something like that.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

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The author of this article penned Hour of the Beast, hailed by critics “a fast-paced, rip-snorting, sexy romp” and the “must-read book of the summer.” The book is available in hardcover and softcover at Amazon.com. But you can save $4 by clicking HERE! The Kindle version is just $7 and the eBbook is a measly $5. Be the first on your block to read this bone-chilling tale — before the movie comes out.

FEW FAIRIES GAY, FOLKLORISTS NOW SAY   2 comments

Don’t let those looks fool you. Though slightly built and androgynous, most male fairies are straight as an arrow, experts say.

By C. Michael Forsyth

LONDON — Contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of fairies are heterosexual, researchers now say.

“Homosexuality is almost unheard of among fairies,” reveals Neville Ardwicke, a leading folklorist in London and author of Unusual Inhabitants of the British Isles. “It’s estimated that fewer than 1 in 5,000 fairies have been involved in same-sex relationships. That’s a much, much smaller incidence than in the general human population.”

Due to their androgynous appearance, delicate bone structure, knack for arts and crafts and fondness for dancing about in the woods, it’s not surprising that fairies are widely presumed to be gay. But nothing could be further from the truth, according to the expert.

“They are robustly heterosexual,” says Ardwicke. “And when provoked, they can be formidable in combat, as anyone who’s been in a knife fight with one will readily attest.

“According to Arthurian lore, Sir Gawain waged a battle against the fairy knight Elwich that raged on for four days before ending in a stalemate. It’s noteworthy that the duel was over a woman, the fair Lady Rowena.”

Fairy smallest

ALL MAN: Real male fairies kick butt, as this drawing clearly illustrates.

From ancient times, when the earliest mention of fairies can be found in Mesopotamian folktales, through the Elizabethan era, the fact that the diminutive creatures are straight was generally understood.

“In Shakespeare’s play A Midsummer Night’s Dream, the fairy king Oberon is depicted as heterosexual — a very virile and even overbearing he-man in a passionate relationship with his wife Titania,” the expert points out.

The misconception, experts say, grew out those infamous “fairy photographs” of the early 20th century. Although a handful have been authenticated, most are clearly fake, a product of trick photography that seems laughably crude by today’s standards, but was quite convincing to people of the time.

PHONY BALONEY? Dubious fairy photographs like this one gave the world a false impression of fairy behavior.

“Many respected intellectuals believed the fairy photos were real. Even Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock Holmes, vouched for them,” says Ardwicke. “They drew conclusions about fairy behavior based on what was in the pictures.

“The photos typically show any male fairies walking hand in hand or gazing adoringly into each others’ eyes. The implication was obvious.”

Since then, fairies’ false rep for having “sugar in their shoes” has spread far and wide. That their spoken language is eerily sibilant, sounding to the modern ear something like a lisp, has only added fuel to the fire. By the 1930s, the word “fairy” was so associated with homosexuality that English speakers on both sides of the Atlantic began using it as a pejorative term for gays.

Dr. Howard Glenyear, author of the indispensable Fairy Encyclopedia, concurs with Ardwicke’s assertions.

“In my 30 years of fieldwork, I have never encountered a single gay fairy, and it’s not from lack of trying,” he declares. “You’ll sooner find a six-foot four, blue-eyed Chinaman.

“Homosexuality is exceedingly rare among fairies. Elves, that’s another story.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

This writer’s novel Hour of the Beast is “very difficult to put down,” critics say.

This writer’s most recent novel, Hour of the Beast has been hailed by Horror Fiction Review as a “fast-paced, rip-snorting, action-packed, sexy romp.” To check it out visit Amazon.com or save $4 by ordering it from freedomshammer.com.

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