Archive for the ‘solar eclipse’ Tag

Don’t Have Sex During Eclipse, Occult Experts Warn.   Leave a comment

 

eclipse love two

Love-making under full moon has less dire supernatural consequences.

 

By C. Michael Forsyth

Getting busy between the sheets during Monday’s solar eclipse might sound like a naughty, once-in-a-lifetime thrill — but experts warn that a child conceived during the rare celestial event could be born a demon!

“According to Eastern mythology, any child conceived during a total eclipse will become one of the ‘Children of Rahu,’ fierce creatures that suck the life force out of ordinary humans,” reveals occult researcher Roger C. Bertswill.

While most Americans will don special glasses to gawk as the moon blocks the sun for several minutes, some adventurous young lovebirds plan to celebrate by toasting with champagne and then making whoopee.

“They think it’s a romantic way to mark the occasion and that there’s something magical about becoming pregnant at the moment the earth is plunged into darkness,” explains Bertwill. “To them, it’s as special as your baby being the first delivered in a new millennium. They have no idea how dangerous these mystical forces can be.”

An ancient Hindu myth states that eclipses are the handiwork of the demon Rahu, who was punished with decapitation by the god Vishnu for drinking the elixir of eternal life.

“Only Rahu’s head survived, becoming immortal, and his vengeance on the world is to ‘swallow’ the sun, creating an eclipse,” the expert says. “For centuries, certain mystics who’ve devoted their lives to the study of forbidden texts about the powerful demonic entity have taught that a child conceived during a solar eclipse, when day turns to night, is doomed to become a Child of Rahu.”

Legend has it the demonoids can only be killed by beheading, or by being tricked into eating a very spicy Indian dish called phall. In rare instances, when raised with kindness, the strange, purple-eyed offspring can learn to serve humanity for good, becoming “demon warriors” not unlike the famed comic book hero Hellboy. But in most cases, they are highly destructive, often setting fires and carrying off livestock.

“I strongly advise Americans to refrain from engaging in intercourse during the eclipse,” Bertswill says. “But if you cannot resist the temptation, for God’s sake please use appropriate birth control.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending “what if” story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

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