BABE-RAHAM LINCOLN: Arch conservative Debbie Gurvney bares her support for the party of Lincoln.
By C. Michael Forsyth
TAMPA – Right-wing talk radio host Debbie Gurvney does more than wear her political views on her sleeve. Her body is covered head to toe with tattoos of every Republican President!
The conservative cutie’s curvaceous caboose is adorned with the faces of the party’s greatest icons Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan, while Herbert Hoover, Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon, Ulysses S. Grant and other commanders in chief decorate her skin as well.
The outspoken hottie’s 36-24-36 bod also sports an elephant (the GOP mascot), plus familiar slogans including “Morning in America” and “Mission Accomplished.” And in addition to the presidents, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich holds a special place of honor: her bikini area.
“I thought of having President Bush there for obvious reasons, but I decided that would be disrespectful to the leader who kept us safe for eight years,” Debbie says reverently.
Debbie, 26, freely admits the tattoos are in part a publicity stunt to advertise her nationally syndicated show “Debbie Does D.C.,” scheduled to go on the air in six weeks. But she insists there’s more to it than that.
“It’s my way of showing how committed I am to the cause of conservatism at a time when our freedoms are under attack,” the perky pundit explains.
Debbie got her first tattoo, of George W. Bush, in high school to show her support for the then-unpopular Iraq war and to thumb her nose at “my peacenik liberal parents.” Since then she’s added another GOP prez every few months.
When the bodacious blonde struts down Miami’s crowded South Beach in a skimpy bikini, she gets plenty of attention – and loves every minute of it.
“It gives me the opportunity to talk about issues such as cap and trade with young male voters who normally couldn’t care less about politics,” she explains. “Many of them don’t know a thing about Calvin Coolidge, Ronald Reagan’s favorite president. But with his face right there between my breasts, it’s easy to bring him up.”
While Debbie adamantly opposes gay marriage, she doesn’t mind that lesbians also drool over her as she stretches out on a beach blanket working on her tan.
“When they ask me about the tattoos, I invite them to have a seat and apply sun block to my back,” says the family-values proponent. “As they’re rubbing lotion on The Gipper and Dubya, it gives me an opportunity to lecture them on the sanctity of traditional marriage and the benefits of conversion therapy.”
Debbie says her role model is famed political commentator Ann Coulter.
“I love that she’s young, attractive and hip, with an irreverent sense of humor,” she says. “I want to show America that not all Republicans are old, rich white men – some of us date old, rich white men!”
Feminists aren’t crazy about the luscious lady’s eye-popping fashion statement. They charge that by using her fabulous figure as a billboard, she’s become little more than a sex object. Debbie pooh poohs that argument.
“It doesn’t surprise me that old-school women’s libbers can’t handle this,” she laughed. “They think that every time a man looks at a pretty girl it’s sexual exploitation. And let’s be honest. Your typical frumpy Democrat woman like Hillary Clinton or Elizabeth Warren couldn’t pull this off. I’m living proof that our women are hotter than their women – and we’re a lot more fun.”
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth
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