REAL VAMPIRES LOVE GARLIC — AND HATE WEARING BLACK!   1 comment

Unlike TV's Angel, portrayed by actor David Boreanaz, most real vampires would be caught undead in black clothing.

Unlike TV’s Angel, portrayed by actor David Boreanaz, most real vampires wouldn’t be caught undead in black clothing.

By C. Michael Forsyth

If you think that vampires are repelled by garlic and lurk through the streets in black leather duds, you’re dead wrong. Contrary to popular belief, bloodsuckers are not allergic to garlic and in fact love to season their food with the pungent herb, a top expert says.

“As anyone familiar with Anne Rice novels knows, Paris is the center of vampire society—and garlic is an essential ingredient in French cuisine,” reveals researcher Lorraine Previlsky, who has spent the last two decades studying real-life nosferatu.

“Traditional French dishes such as Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic, and Escargot à la Bourguignonne Snails in Garlic-Herb Butter are as indispensable a part of a vampire’s diet as blood. If you have the misfortune to feel the cold breath of a vampire on your neck, you can be sure it will be accompanied by the potent smell of garlic.”

YUMMY garlic bread is one of many foods enjoyed by vampires.

YUMMY garlic bread is one of many foods enjoyed by vampires.

Among vamps born and bred in the U.S.A., the herb is just as popular, sprinkled on pizza or in garlic mashed potatoes.

The myth that vampires dress in black like Angel and Spike in TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer also has no basis in fact, according to the expert.

“If you were condemned to dwell in the shadows and walk only at night, you too would hate to wear black,” she said. “Real vampires prefer cheerful colors such as lemon green, fuchsia, pumpkin orange and bumble bee yellow. Anyone who strolls into a vampire bar in black clothing would be instantly pegged as a wannabe.”

The preference for brilliant hues dates back centuries.

DANDIES like this 18th century fop held onto their preference for bright colors after being vampirized.

DANDIES like this 18th century fop held onto their preference for bright colors after being vampirized.

“Bear in mind, the height of the vampire epidemic was the 18th century, when flamboyant European dandies and fops strutted around like peacocks in gay, frilly attire with lots of bright colors,” the expert explained. “Men and women who crossed over in those days have of course modified their clothing choices to blend into modern society, but their basic fashion sense remains the same. The only vampire you’ll run into in a dark alley who’s wearing a dark leather jacket is a ‘greaser’ who was converted back in the 1950s.”

 

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted June 22, 2015 by C. Michael Forsyth in Uncategorized

One response to “REAL VAMPIRES LOVE GARLIC — AND HATE WEARING BLACK!

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  1. Reblogged this on viddarr's Blog.

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