Archive for the ‘strip search’ Category

TSA OFFICIALS FIND ALIEN IMPLANT DURING BODY CAVITY SEARCH!   2 comments

MYSTERIOUS gizmo is not of this Earth, Air Force investigator claims.

By C. Michael Forsyth

LOS ANGELES — Talk about a close encounter! Authorities at Los Angeles International Airport reportedly recovered a mysterious alien implant – during the routine body-cavity search of a female passenger!

The 2.5 centimeter object is made of an as yet unidentified metal alloy, says a source close to the investigation.

“We haven’t begun to understand what its purpose is,” said the source. “However, we have ascertained that it is emitting leptons, subatomic particles that can be generated by current Earth science only with the aid of a massive particle accelerator. One theory is that the device is designed to send and receive signals outside the boundaries of three-dimensional space.”

The bizarre discovery has been hushed up by officials and the investigation has been turned over to the U.S. Air Force Special Investigations Unit, often referred to as the “real-life Men in Black.” But before the blanket of secrecy was thrown over the case, TSA supervisor Dan Houstlin told reporters he was flabbergasted to learn that the space gizmo had been retrieved from the 31-year-old passenger’s rectum.

“In the past, we’ve found drugs, missing ‘toys’ in gay men, even small exotic animals people tried to smuggle into the country,” he said. “But in my 14 years on the job, not anything remotely like this.”

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: A body-cavity search can be quite invasive, as demonstrated by these actors on the cagedtushy.com website.

The passenger Debbie, whose last name is being withheld at the request of authorities, says she was taken aback when TSA workers pulled her aside after she passed through a full-body scanner.

“They told me that something had shown up and I was going to have to be searched,” she told a reporter after the incident.

The Hollywood casting agent, who was returning from a vacation in Caracas, was escorted to a small room where three female guards ordered her to strip everything off, “even your false eyelashes.”

“It was very embarrassing,” Debbie said. “They used flashlights to look in my hair, my mouth, my ears. They made me spread my legs a few feet apart and bend over at the waist. Then I had to clap my hands on my cheeks and pull them apart.

“One TSA woman said she couldn’t see well enough and told me to spread wider. She claimed she still couldn’t see and ordered me to ‘open up’ even wider. I was surprised when I heard her say, ‘What the hell is THAT?’ ”

The TSA agents – often called America’s first line of defense in the war on terror — murmured as they took turns inspecting with their penlights, craning for a better look.

“We could see what looked like a foreign object and called for a nurse to perform the more invasive, manual cavity search,” one of the security officers revealed on the condition of anonymity.

“The procedure took a few minutes because the nurse had to go in very deep. We all stood watching, curious to see what she would find. Eventually she stood up holding this small, strange-looking metallic object.”

The object was whisked away for examination by the secretive U.S. Air Force Special Investigations Unit, which imposed a total press blackout on the case.

FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE: Making sure passengers are properly searched is a TSA agent’s most solemn duty.

Dr. Kevin Hastlekin, a respected UFO investigator and leading authority on alien implants, says the mysterious device was likely put in place by E.T.s as the woman slept, perhaps as long as 10 years ago.

“Every time the government gets its hands on one of these objects, it’s an opportunity to advance science,” he observes. “We may be able to solve questions in the field of quantum mechanics that have baffled physicists for decades.”

The frazzled passenger is now undergoing a battery of physical and psychological tests to determine what if any effects the extraterrestrial gadget might have had on her. Although admitting she found the cavity search grueling, she’s grateful to the airport staff who extracted the implant.

“I’m just glad that weird thing isn’t in me anymore,” she said. “The whole experience has me very creeped out.”

A GIANT PARTICLE ACCELERATOR the size of a warehouse is usually needed to produce the amount of leptons emitted by the tiny alien device.

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

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WOMAN HAS BEEN STRIP-SEARCHED 114 TIMES — AND LOVED EVERY MINUTE   Leave a comment

HUNDREDS of U.S. women are addicted to strip searches, unlike the wholesome model in this photo. (Image is from CagedTushy.com, an adult site featuring women behind bars).

By C. Michael Forsyth

CINCINATTI — School librarian Ashley S. has been strip-searched a grueling 114 times, including 46 full-on body-cavity searches. But she’s never complained once — because she’s addicted to the embarassing ordeals!

The suburban soccer mom admits she’s committed dozens of minor offenses and deliberately triggered security alerts at airport checkpoints, just so she can undergo the up-close-and-personal inspections.

“I can’t explain why, but I love it. It just gives me this buzz,” says the attractive 31-year-old mother of three. “My favorite six words in the English language are ‘Bend over and spread them, lady.’ It’s music to my ears.”

Incredibly, she’s not alone — hundreds of women nationwide share the bizarre mental affliction.

“We estimate that about one in every 20,000 women have some form of this compulsion, named Hucken’s Disorder after the psychologist who first identified it in 1978,” reveals Dr. Helen Beevford, a psychiatrist specializing in addiction who is treating Ashley.

“For most healthy women undergoing a strip search, or worse, a body-cavity search, is a degrading ordeal that often leaves them traumatized. Some have likened it to being sexually violated. But to sufferers of Hucken’s Disorder, the humiliation is actually a turn on. It’s a form of masochism.

“Many of these women repeatedly commit petty crimes in order to satisfy their craving. The unfortunate repercussions of this can include the loss of a job, a strain on their marriages, and an arrest record that can hold them back in their careers.”

What causes the disorder is unclear, the expert says.

“In some cases, it dates back to an experience in early adolescence,” Dr. Beevford reveals. “With one patient I treated, in eighth grade she had been forced to strip to her underwear in a search for missing money. The ‘tingle’ she felt was her first experience of arousal. She was driven to seek out that kind of arousal again and again.”

In the movie “Strip Search,” Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character is traumatized when she must bare all for a male Chinese interrogator.

 

Ashley confesses that she’s gone to incredible lengths to get her strip-search jollies.

“I’ve gone out on the lawn and screamed my head off so I could be arrested for disturbing the peace,” she says. “At airports, I’ll say something like ‘That Ben Affleck movie sounds like a real BOMB.’ ”

Ashley has been searched so many times that lady cops at the local police station and TSA workers at the Greater Cincinnati Airport know her by sight — and could describe the most intimate parts of her anatomy by memory.

“When we see her being brought in, we’re like, ‘Oh no, here ’the terrorist’ comes again,” said a Department of Homeland Security supervisor. “It may sound stupid to keep searching her, but if we didn’t one time and she blew up a plane, we’d have our heads handed to us on a platter.”

The devout Methodist, who’s treasurer of her church, says most of the searchers who know she has a problem try to be understanding and treat her gently. And that makes her pout like a 5-year-old.

“I hate that,“ she complains. “I prefer it when they’re rough and gruff, and say mean stuff like, ’Spread ’em wider, sweet cheeks — let’s see what you had for breakfast.’ ”

When they’re in a good mood, some searchers oblige. But others refuse to play ball.

“That crazy b____ is always up in here wanting me to be all butch-acting,” says Police Officer Tawashana Washington, 41. “That’s not how I roll.”

Going undercover in a women’s prison, Charlie’s Angels are grim-faced as they undergo a humiliating body-cavity search.

There are a range of treatment options for Hucken’s, ranging from medication to hypnotism. One of the most effective techniques in getting the strip-search monkey off victims’ backs has been what is known as Saturation Therapy.

“It’s like when you make a nicotine addict smoke 200 cigarettes in a row, until they’re absolutely sick of it,” explains Dr. Beevford. “With one of my patients, this approach succeeded so well that she told me, ‘If I never seen another gloved middle finger again, it will be too soon!’ ”

So far, Ashley has been lucky. Once her lawyer explains her strange mental problem, prosecutors have declined to press charges or judges have let her off the hook. But one frustrated assistant district attorney says there’s got to be a limit to the court‘s leniency.

“Every time this woman comes through the system, it costs the taxpayers money,” he fumes.

“Maybe a year being verbally abused and manhandled by big, tough women will cure her of this so-called ’disease’ once and for all.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world's greatest magician probe a paranormal  mystery in new thriller.

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.

More about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Harry Houdini in the Adventure of the Spook House.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

Read Hour of the Beast.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

Check out The Blood of Titans.

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