Archive for the ‘cats’ Tag

9 Ways to Tell if Your Cat is a Vampire   Leave a comment

CUTE little Mittens may be secretly slurping your blood.

CUTE little Mittens may be secretly slurping your blood.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Warning: Your precious house cat may be a vampire that sneaks into your bedroom each night to lap your blood!

Sanguinem nobiscum, the parasite associated with vampirism in humans, can be transmitted from people to felines and vice versa, much like the better known toxoplasma gondii, experts say.

“The parasite rewires the brain, creating an irresistible hunger for blood,” says veterinary infectious-disease specialist Dr. Nora Kelwick. “Most pet owners are unaware of the change. Their cat slinks into the room of a family member – frequently a child – and feeds. The pinprick-sized holes it leaves are no more noticeable than mosquito bites, and the victim is aware of nothing besides increased grogginess in the morning, and perhaps a slight dizziness.”

Vampiric felines have been reported since the earliest accounts of human vampires and blood-drinking demons in ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia. Cults devoted to the worship of the Cat Goddess flourished up until 3rd century Rome, with human sacrifice quite common. In the Middle Ages, cats were feared as familiars of witches, due principally to their habit of preying on sleeping peasants. The ability of vampire cats to survive seemingly fatal accidents such as falls from tremendous heights, drowning or being run over by wagons gave rise to the superstition that cats have “nine lives.”

Here, from the expert, are nine warning signs that your beloved pet has joined the ranks of the undead:

1) Sleeps or is listless during the day, but is active at night, much like a human vampire.
2) Stares at you for no apparent reason, as if trying to lull you into a hypnotic trance.
3) Normally an indoor cat, now attempts to slip out to hunt for victims.
4) Severe allergic reaction to garlic.
5) Shuns sunlight.
6) Visiting children – more sensitive to the supernatural – are apprehensive around it.
7) Won’t cross running water.
8) Recoils and flees when a crucifix is thrust in its face.
9) Begins to smoke when sprayed with holy water.

While roving packs of feral vampire cats have been known to prey on the homeless in some large cities – especially St. Louis – the main danger is of infecting humans.

“Spores from the parasite can be transmitted by the cat’s bite, creating a risk of conversion, especially among persons with weak immune systems,” cautions Dr. Kelwick. “If you suspect your cat is a vampire, consult a vet immediately.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

CLAUSTROPHIC TERROR GETS THE MAX

If you got a chuckle out of this supernatural news satire by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new graphic novel Night Cage, about vampires running amok in a women’s prison. 

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world's greatest magician probe a paranormal  mystery in new thriller.

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.

More about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Harry Houdini in the Adventure of the Spook House.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

Read Hour of the Beast.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

Check out The Blood of Titans.

Cat-to-Dog “Species Reassignment” Surgery Is Hot New Trend   2 comments

Transpecies Dog_edited-1

BUSTER started out life as a biological cat.

By C. Michael Forsyth

SAN DIEGO — Buster barks, wags his tail and chases mail carriers—yet incredibly, the playful pooch started his life as a cat named Sparkles!

The furry former feline is one of a growing number of “transpecies pets” that have gone from dog to cat or vice versa.

“When Buster, the only name he answers to now, was just a 4-month-old kitten, he lifted up his hind leg to urinate on a fire hydrant,” says his doting owner Felicia, 42. “That’s when we began to realize he was ‘different.’”

As time passed, the wannabe mutt increasingly exhibited traditional canine behavior while turning up his nose at the typical practices of cats.

“He absolutely refused to use a litter box and the one time we were able to coax him into catching a mouse, he showed no interest in playing with his food before he ate it,” Felicia remembers. “What excited him was burying bones in the backyard and riding in our car with his head out the window.”

Yet Buster was often depressed when he found himself rejected or even harassed by his peers who refused to accept him as a “real” dog.

“You’d see him sitting in the window sill wistfully watching a pack of strays chase a cat up a tree,” his owner says. “You could tell he wanted to join in but couldn’t. It was heartbreaking to see him so sad and we knew we had to do something about it.”

The operation cost just over $13,000 and was performed in a Philadelphia animal clinic, one of only 11 nationwide that handle veterinary snip and tucks. In the five-hour procedure, Sparkles’ ears were reshaped from triangular to floppy, his snout was lengthened and surgery was performed on his vocal chords to turn his meow into a deep bark. Contact lenses altered the distinctive slit-like appearance of his pupils.

PRE-OP : Before going under the knife, “Sparkles,” as Buster was known at the time,  dreamed of becoming a pooch.

Since his transition in July, Buster couldn’t be happier.

“You should see the joy in his eyes as he leaps into the air to catch a Frisbee,” said Felicity’s husband Roy, 43. “We’re so blessed to have a role in helping Buster to finally be the animal God intended him to be.”

According to a recent report, there were 145 dog-to-cat operations and 96 cat-to-dog surgeries last year, along with three hamster-to-guinea pig species reassignments. Those are twice total number of species swaps in 2013 and experts predict the figures will only grow.

“The old paradigm was that if you were born a dog, you’d spend the rest of your life as dog,” observes animal psychologist Jeneanne Hebleck. “But our understanding of what a species is has evolved. A dog raised among wolves would act like a wolf, believe itself to be a wolf and for all intents and purposes would BE a wolf. Same goes for a chimpanzee brought up in a human household.

“It turns out species is largely a state of mind.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.

If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his thriller The Identity Thief.

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