NOAH’S ARK FOUND FROZEN IN ANTARCTIC ICE — With Crew Still Aboard!   15 comments

Noah's Ark in Ice Update
FROZEN: is mysterious wreck found under Antarctic ice Noah’s Ark?

By C. Michael Forsyth

McMURDO BASE, Antarctica — Scientists say they have discovered what appears to be Noah’s Ark deep in an Antarctic ice shelf, with all hands still aboard along with two of every animal — all frozen stiff!

The remarkable discovery was made on February 8th  by the Swedish research vessel Aventyr. The scientists were studying the effects of global warming, when the ice-shelf collapsed, exposing about a third of the ancient craft.

“This is far, far, beyond merely mind-blowing — it‘s the most baffling Bible mystery of all time,” declares biblical archaeologist David H. Tootenhaur. “It turns everything we thought we knew about the Holy Bible upside down!”

The scientists who made the amazing find are cautious about identifying the enormous, ice-enshrouded vessel as Noah’s Ark, saying it would be premature to do so without further investigation.

“We can only say that the ship is made of cedar, known in antiquity as ‘gopher wood,’ just as described in the Bible,” says lead researcher Dr. Alrik Olofson.

“It measures 450 feet long, the equivelent of the ancient unit 300 cubits; it is 75 feet or 50 cubits wide, and it has three stories that give it the height of 45 feet, or 30 cubits. These are precisely the specifications God cited when He commanded Noah to build the Ark, according to the Book of Genesis.

“Aboard we’ve found two representatives of virtually every species that now exists, as well as the remains of five pre-Bronze age humans.”

The ship was found in the Wendell Sea, when a mile-long section of the Larson C  ice shelf collapsed. The discovery seems to fly in the face of known history, since the entire human race is believed to be descended from survivors of the Flood aboard Noah’s Ark.

Even the world’s top Bible scholars confess that they are befuddled, and news reports have fueled much wild speculation. Some armchair Bible “experts” claim the whole thing must be an elaborate hoax cooked up by Satanists bent on attacking Christianity. New Agers point to Babylonian legends of a small band of people who survived the Flood by means of a giant “holy umbrella” — and whom, they argue, could be the real ancestors of modern humans.

Some church leaders fear that unless the riddle is solved — and quickly — it could lead to religious conflict and social unrest.

“We are pleading with our congregations to remain calm,” says Florida clergyman Rev. Alexander P. Wentbooth. “Christians must have faith that this is all part of God’s plan.”

Fearing widespread upheaval, many governments have suppressed news of the discovery. Even in the U.S., quite a few preachers stubbornly refuse to discuss the ship with their flocks.

Ark Aurelio Aurelio Luini
Noah’s ark saved all life on Earth — at least on OUR universe — as shown in this painting by Aurelio Luini


Theoretical physicist Dr. Jeremy Blinkley, generally acknowleged to be the world’s most brilliant mind and sometimes referred to as “the thinking man’s Stephen Hawking,” believes he may have an explanation for the bizarre discovery.

“Most physicists today believe in the multiverse theory — the concept that alongside our universe are many other parallel universes, lying near ours in dimensions beyond the three that we perceive,” he explained. “It’s widely believed that small portholes may open up  from time to time, through which objects may pass from one world to another.

“It’s possible that in a parallel universe Noah built his Ark to escape the flood, but he, his crew and his cargo of animals failed to survive the journey. And the wreckage of his vessel drifted from a sea in that universe into our own.

“Needless to say, in that Noah’s home universe the human race is extinct, along with all other species on Earth.”

As way out as it sounds, the explanation dovetails perfectly with Christian belief.

“The great Christian thinker C.S. Lewis — hardly a heathen — explored the idea of parallel universes in his book The Magician’s Nephew,” notes Christian physicist Arnold Hipperman. “It was the logical underpinning to his famous alternate world Narnia.”

Although no radiocarbon dating has yet been conducted, based on the surrounding ice, experts say the ship must be at least 100,000 years old. Preserved by the cold, the human remains are remarkably intact. The robed, white-bearded captain was found with his hands still frozen to the steering wheel.

“It’s obvious that he tried heroically to save the ship, before it was overcome by some unknown calamity,” notes Dr. Olofson.

The animal carcasses are entirely made up of newborns, including a baby kangaroo, known as a joey, no bigger than a honey bee. Crates of eggs were found in the lowest deck, rather than live birds and reptiles. This, at least, solves one Bible mystery that has long puzzled scholars — how Noah managed to squeeze all those creatures into one boat.

While the discovery has been unsettling to many believers, Hipperman says that if the multiverse theory is right, that’s reason to rejoice.

“It means that the act of Creation is even more miraculous than we were taught in Sunday school,” he observes. “God did not only create our universe, he simultaneously made countless others.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth



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15 responses to “NOAH’S ARK FOUND FROZEN IN ANTARCTIC ICE — With Crew Still Aboard!

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  1. Wjhat an embarrassingly funny story! HAHAHA!

  2. This shit is fuckin stupid!

    • Well, Michael, I didn’t really agree with that movie where you showed Cuba as a worker’s paradise, but you didnt hear me using cuss words, did you?

    • Hey Michael moor, i know its hard for you to think about anything other than a communist left wing way of life but you should try to think about somthing useful for a change. stop brainwashing ppl with you videos. im sure most ppl by now have figured out you have nothing useful and have stopped buying into your propaganda you would have been a great spokesman for Stalin you left wing nutcase

  3. I like the Christian Scientist Noah’s ark story juxtaposed with a woman whose panties have been torn off by a savage beast.

  4. Noah lived a long life and died happy so how is this true that their hands were found lol. Doesnt sound right. 🙂

  5. a lot is communicated when one observes what another does with their time. what’s it like to be an author where no one reads what you write?

  6. Well, in order to make a fake story about the bible – you have to know at least a little about the bible. You said in the story that all 5 of the survivors were found. There were eight people who went on the ark – not five – so where are the other 3? Oops…

  7. you fucktards would believe anything…oh wait, you think the bible is the word of god? lol no wonder you are so easily fooled…

  8. C. Michael Forsyth just got out of a mental institution and was declared delusional and a walking dead. He had too much crack in his veins

  9. Hoax is the word for this.

  10. Pingback: Scientists Pinpoint “Hole” Through Which Noah’s Ark 2 Entered Our Universe | Best and Worst of Horror

  11. Only time will tell on who’s word is really law. Everyone has an opinion about such topics. I say that everyone keep their opinions and theories to themselves because the truth is that none of us was living at the time the said events occured so noone can speak on the issue…i don’t care how many books are written or how many theories there are. If you wasn’t alive at the time then all you have is an opinion

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