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Irish Actor Dragged To Nut House — After Thanking “The Little People”   Leave a comment

TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU! This isn't the kind of little person well known actor meant.

C. Michael Forsyth

LONDON – Just moments after Irish actor Dennis O’Cullen thanked “all the little people” at an awards ceremony, he was hustled off the stage by men in white coats and whisked away to a loony bin!

Now, after spending four months in the Peaceful Gardens Sanitarium, the 67-year-old star is suing both his manager and two doctors for having him involuntarily committed.

“Obviously, I was talking about the peons who work behind the scenes, like the makeup girl and the fellow who points the spotlight, as anyone but those dolts would realize,” he told a London paper.

“I haven’t believed in leprechauns since I was 15. And as anyone who has set foot in my native Ireland can tell you, we call them ‘wee folk’ not ‘little people.’ ”

Although not well known to audiences in America, where he’s made only four films, O’Cullen is a respected stage actor in Britain, where he was once hailed as the “Irish Olivier.”

ACCLAIMED actor Dennis O'Cullen first appeared as "King Lear" in this 1996 PBS presentation, but last year's Best Actor trophy was his first major award for the role.

The incident occurred at the prestigious Christopher Marlowe Awards, after O’Cullen was handed a Best Actor statuette for his starring role in King Lear.

“O’Cullen was aglow because he’d been nominated many times before and hadn’t won,” said a reporter who was covering the star-studded show. “About 30 seconds into his acceptance speech he made the “little people” remark and he was suddenly gang-tackled by four burly men in hospital uniforms. He appeared to be quite taken aback.”

The Shakespearean actor’s manager Edwin “Reggie” Baronsett has apologized profusely for the misunderstanding. However, he insists that having two doctors and several staffers from the mental health facility on hand seemed prudent under the circumstances.

“Let’s not forget that just three years ago at another awards ceremony, Mr. O’Cullen became unhinged after losing for a fifth year in a row to Kenneth Branagh. He went after the presenter Dame Judy Dench with a wooden sword — all the while limping like Richard III,” he points out. “We simply wanted to spare my client another embarrassing spectacle like that.”

O’Cullen has refused to accept the apology.

“Receiving that award should have been the crowning moment of my career,” he declares. “Instead I was made a national laughingstock and was deprived of four months of liberty.”

BELIEF in leprechauns, shown in this scene from the Disney classic "Darby O'Gill and the Little People," still remains strong in Ireland today.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

C. Michael Forsyth, the author of this article, has written a critically acclaimed horror novel. The Horror Fiction Review raves that Hour of the Beast is a "rip-snorting, action-packed sexy college romp."

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FEW FAIRIES GAY, FOLKLORISTS NOW SAY   2 comments

By C. Michael Forsyth

LONDON — Contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of fairies are heterosexual, researchers now say.

“Homosexuality is almost unheard of among fairies,” reveals Neville Ardwicke, a leading folklorist in London and author of Unusual Inhabitants of the British Isles. “It’s estimated that fewer than 1 in 5,000 fairies have been involved in same-sex relationships. That’s a much, much smaller incidence than in the general human population.”

Due to their androgynous appearance, delicate bone structure, knack for arts and crafts and fondness for dancing about in the woods, it’s not surprising that fairies are widely presumed to be gay. But nothing could be further from the truth, according to the expert.

“They are robustly heterosexual,” says Ardwicke. “And when provoked, they can be formidable in combat, as anyone who’s been in a knife fight with one will readily attest.

“According to Arthurian lore, Sir Gawain waged a battle against the fairy knight Elwich that raged on for four days before ending in a stalemate. It’s noteworthy that the duel was over a woman, the fair Lady Rowena.”

Fairy smallest

ALL MAN: Real male fairies kick butt, as this drawing clearly illustrates.

From ancient times, when the earliest mention of fairies can be found in Mesopotamian folktales, through the Elizabethan era, the fact that the diminutive creatures are straight was generally understood.

“In Shakespeare’s play A Midsummer Night’s Dream, the fairy king Oberon is depicted as heterosexual — a very virile and even overbearing he-man in a passionate relationship with his wife Titania,” the expert points out.

The misconception, experts say, grew out those infamous “fairy photographs” of the early 20th century. Although a handful have been authenticated, most are clearly fake, a product of trick photography that seems laughably crude by today’s standards, but was quite convincing to people of the time.

PHONY BALONEY? Dubious fairy photographs like this one gave the world a false impression of fairy behavior.

“Many respected intellectuals believed the fairy photos were real. Even Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock Holmes, vouched for them,” says Ardwicke. “They drew conclusions about fairy behavior based on what was in the pictures.

“The photos typically show any male fairies walking hand in hand or gazing adoringly into each others’ eyes. The implication was obvious.”

Since then, fairies’ false rep for having “sugar in their shoes” has spread far and wide. That their spoken language is eerily sibilant, sounding to the modern ear something like a lisp, has only added fuel to the fire. By the 1930s, the word “fairy” was so associated with homosexuality that English speakers on both sides of the Atlantic began using it as a pejorative term for gays.

Dr. Howard Glenyear, author of the indispensable Fairy Encyclopedia, concurs with Ardwicke’s assertions.

“In my 30 years of fieldwork, I have never encountered a single gay fairy, and it’s not from lack of trying,” he declares. “You’ll sooner find a six-foot four, blue-eyed Chinaman.

“Homosexuality is exceedingly rare among fairies. Elves, that’s another story.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

This writer’s novel Hour of the Beast is “very difficult to put down,” critics say.

This writer’s most recent novel, Hour of the Beast has been hailed by Horror Fiction Review as a “fast-paced, rip-snorting, action-packed, sexy romp.” To check it out visit Amazon.com or save $4 by ordering it from freedomshammer.com.

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