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Chutes and Ladders, Not Ouija Boards, Leads to Demon Possession, Experts say   1 comment

By C. Michael Forsyth


Chutes and Ladders is one of the most popular children’s games in the world.

BOSTON — With Halloween season in full swing, many concerned parents worry that their children may be possessed by demons – particularly after playing with a Ouija board. But experts say kids are four times more likely to need a house call from the local exorcist after playing the beloved game Chutes and Ladders!

In the movie The Exorcist, young Regan (Linda Blair) is taken over by a demonic entity after monkeying with a Ouija board. Since then, numerous Hollywood films have highlighted the risks inherent in contacting the spirit world through the sinister game, most recently Ouija: Origin of Evil. Evangelical leaders frequently warn the public about the threat. But a recent study of 164 exorcisms reveals that children are far more likely to be possessed during a round of the seemingly innocuous Chutes and Ladders.


In Hollywood movies like Ouija: Origin of Evil, messing with a board is begging for trouble.

“Surprisingly, Ouija boards don’t even rank among the top 10 games when it comes to triggering possession,” says Neil Loganski, a leading expert on the occult and chief author of the study. “Number two is Chinese Checkers, followed by Scrabble and Monopoly.”

A Ouija board is marked with the letters of the alphabet, the numbers 0–9, and the words “yes”, “no” and “goodbye.” Players hold a small, heart-shaped pointer that seemingly spells out words on its own accord. Contrary to popular belief, it has no ancient Eastern roots. It was invented by an American businessman in 1890 as a fun parlor game.

“Turn out it had nothing at all to do with the occult,” Loganski reveals. “It was only later, during the spiritualism craze, that people began trying to use the boards to contact the dead. But the fact is, Ouija boards are terrible conduits for the supernatural. You’d have a better chance of getting in touch with your dead grandfather by talking into one of his old shoes. “

VARIOUS - 2006

Ouija boards are lousy means to contact dead. (Photo by Jon Santa Cruz)

Ouija is typically played by teenage girls during sleepovers – which is one of the main reason demons avoid the boards like the plague.

“Demons select as their targets the most innocent among us,” notes Loganski. “Nowadays, it’s rare to find a 16-year-old American teen who hasn’t at least gotten to third base. Demons prefer victims whose minds are free of impure thoughts, highly impressionable and prone to believing in ‘imaginary friends.’ That’s why the simple games played in early elementary school are so much more dangerous.”


Fate of possessed girl is up on in the air in 1973 movie The Exorcist.

It’s not clear why Chutes and Ladders tops the possession list, but experts suspect it may have to do with the game’s origin in the mysterious Orient.

“The commercial version most of us are familiar with was introduced by game pioneer Milton Bradley in 1943,” explains Loganski, “but in fact the game dates back countless hundreds of years to ancient India, where it was known as Moksha Patam. It embodies sophisticated philosophical concepts such as karma and moksha, and was supposed to lead to enlightenment and spiritual awakening.

“Unfortunately, it now appears that it can also open the mind to the forces of darkness,” says the expert.

Around Halloween, when the barrier between the spirit world and temporal world is at its weakest, any board game – with the exception of Risk — can lead to possession, and even adults are vulnerable. Here, from the expert, are early warning signs that a player is under demonic attack:

• You become obsessed with winning, for example thinking “I’d sell my soul to land on Boardwalk.”

• Success rolling the dice seems to defy the laws of chance. Three sixes in a row are an especially ominous sign.

• While playing a game like Scrabble, suggestive words like “B-O-I-N-K” keep cropping up.

• Greed, one of the seven deadly sins, consumes you, as the drive to pile up fake money overwhelms all other concerns.

• Anger, another deadly sin, keeps filling your mind. “A normally mild-mannered player who rages at a competitor for ‘cheating’ in a voice that barely sounds like his own may be under demonic influence,” says the expert.

• You begin to overly identity with your playing piece, saying things like “You just knocked me over!”

• You develop sinful thoughts. “Lustful feelings about your neighbor’s wife ‘Miss Scarlet’ in the midst of a game of Clue is a red flag that the devil or one of his minions has entered your mind,” warns Loganski.

• You become hooked on a particular game, irresistibly drawn to play it again and again.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

This story was satirical, as you likely realize. No one has ever been possessed as a result of playing Chutes and Ladders. If you found the article a fun read, check out the author’s collection of news satire, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.


By C. Michael Forsyth

SALEM, Mass. — In recent years, millions of devout born-again Christians nationwide have begun to ban their children from dressing up on Halloween night, hoping to protect them from ungodly influences. But that has backfired — and made the innocent tots easy prey for evil spirits, a top expert warns.

“Not putting a costume on your child on Halloween night is incredibly dangerous and irresponsible,” warns Vatican-trained exorcist Dr. James Huntingworth, a leading expert on the occult.

“You might as well send them bike riding without a helmet or tell them to go play stickball in the middle of a busy six-lane highway.”

While few Christians complained about Halloween in decades past, lately many evangelical preachers have told their flocks not to celebrate the October 31st holiday, because it has pagan roots.

“They say that it dates back to Celtic times, when it was known as the festival of Samhain, the Day of the Dead,” says Dr. Huntingworth. “And that much is true.

“The ancient Druids believed that on Halloween night, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead blurred and the spirits of the departed walked the Earth.

“Now here’s the important part, which these preachers forget to tell you: The Druid priests taught that wicked spirits would hunt for living bodies to possess. And the only way to foil these roving ghosts was to dress in an ugly costume to make your body unattractive.

“The practice worked and kept the ancient British islanders safe from possession for hundreds of years. And the tradition, carried on over here, protected generations of American children as well.”

In the wholesome 1950s, when Beaver Cleaver and almost every other child in the United States went trick-or-treating in costume, possession by ghosts was extremely rare – virtually unheard of, the expert points out.

“But in the last 15 years, as more and more parents have forbidden their kids from wearing costumes, we’ve seen a disturbing trend,” reveals Dr. Huntingworth. “Possession is steadily on the rise. In 2009 alone, there were a reported 452 possessions of U.S. children on Halloween night – and those are just the ones we know about.

“I investigated 27 of these cases and in every single one, the child was not wearing a costume. The children’s parents were all born-again Christians who didn’t allow them to dress up.

“Not putting a protective costume on your child exposes them to the very real risk of being possessed by the evil dead. It’s like taping a target on their back, or a sign that says, ‘Come get me.’”

Dr. Huntingworth is aware that, with time running out before Halloween night, the pickings may be slim at discount stores. But any costume that disguises your child will work.

“Even if you have to dig up an old bed sheet, cut out eye holes and call it a ghost costume, do it,” the exorcist advises. “Sure, your child may get teased, and if he’s African American, he might hear, ‘Hey, Tyrone, I see you’re a Klansman this year.’ But which is more important, avoiding some good-natured ribbing, or avoiding possession?

“If you don’t mind having little Billy’s body get taken over by the likes of Ted Bundy, or waking up the morning after Halloween with your daughter Sally standing over your bed with Lizzie Borden inhabiting her, by all means keep them out of costumes.

“But if you care about your child’s soul, I’m begging you: please, please, PLEASE dress them up this Halloween.”

Although youngsters are far more vulnerable to possession, the expert adds that it’s vital for grownups to dress up too. Even the most pious individual can be taken over by an evil spirit – and indeed, the Devil’s minions consider it their greatest triumph to possess the innocent.

“It can be as simple as a zombie mask, a pirate outfit or even a cheap little Groucho Marx nose, mustache and glasses,” Dr. Huntingworth explains.

“If you’re a modest, church-going woman, there’s no need to put on some revealing maid or nurse costume. In fact, a really sexy get-up defeats the whole purpose of wearing a costume — making your body unattractive to ghosts — and can actually invite them in. Just put on a simple Michelle Obama mask or go as a clown if you’re the shy type.”

And while convincing many adult males to wear a costume can be like pulling teeth, the expert warns that it’s absolutely crucial that wives do it.

“Otherwise, you make wake up with Adolf Hitler’s ghost in your husband.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth. All rights reserved

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