By C. Michael Forsyth
WASHINGTON — U.S. President Barack Obama is evil in a half dozen ways that menace America – but miraculously, the six threats cancel each other out!
“Obama is a socialist, a Muslim, a Kenyan, a member of the Illuminati, the Antichrist and a leader of the Trilateral Commission,” declares author Jonathan R. Bernyard, one of the nation’s leading experts on Obama conspiracies. “Any single one of these would make him a danger to our freedom.
“However, the forms of evil are in pairs that operate against each other. It’s like that 19th century case of the British traveler in the Carpathian Mountains who was bitten by a vampire, a werewolf, a zombie and a mummy in the course of a week. Put together, the venoms canceled each other out and he was fine.
“That story may be aprocryphal, but the principle is absolutely certain. As every schoolboy learns in science class, when equally balanced forces act on an object from opposite directions, it doesn’t move. For the very same reason, President Obama cannot harm America.”
Bernyard lays out his unorthodox theory in an upcoming book, The Obama Factor. Here’s a quick break down:
* Obama is a native of Kenya who spent his formative years in a savage, winner-take-all culture.
“The Masai are fierce warriors who from infancy are taught that only the strong survive. The weak who are unable to fend for themselves must be allowed to perish,” Bernyard explains. “That Kenyan mentality makes Obama instinctively inclined to shred our country’s social safety net with a spear, leaving millions of poor Americans to literally starve. It’s social Darwinism at its worst.
“But remember, Obama attended one of our liberal colleges, where he was indoctrinated in radical socialism. He believes in his heart in the redistribution of wealth. That cancels out the harsh individualistic streak in his blood.”
* Many top Bible scholars warn that the President is the Antichrist, the evil tyrant whose rise to power is foretold in the Bible’s book of Revelation.
“Belief in the Antichrist is a central doctrine of Christianity,” Bernyard observes. “The Beast, as this sinister figure is also known, must of course believe wholeheartedly in the prophecy and that his purpose here on earth is to fulfill it.
“However, as is well-documented, Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim and the Islamic worldview was drummed into him at an early age in a madrassa in Indonesia. That worldview simply does not allow for the existence of the Antichrist. Obama will thus reject his Satan-given role as the embodiment of evil because his Moslem upbringing does not allow him to accept the existence of Lucifer.”
* Obama is a member of the Illuminati, a sinister secret society that dates back to the 18th century.
“The goal of the Illuminati is to sweep aside everything we hold dear and usher in a new world order,” the expert declares. “They are credited with having sparked the French Revolution in which aristocrats were hunted down and executed. They want to erase all traditional centers of power. As far back as the 1700s, they were caught in a plot to assassinate all the kings of Europe as well as the Pope, a plot that nearly succeeded.
“Yet it has also been proven that Obama is a card-carrying member of the Trilateral Commission, like presidents George Herbert Walker Bush and Jimmy Carter before him. The Trilateral Commission is dedicated to centralizing power among a small elite of establishment figures – presidents, royalty, heads of prominent corporations. This completely counterbalances Obama’s involvement with the Illuminati.”
If Bernyard’s analysis is correct, it means that President Obama offers no direct threat to the people of the United States. The author insists that the earnest efforts of patriots like Donald Trump, who has called for revolution in the wake of Barack’s re-election, and others petitioning to secede from America or boycott the Electoral College, should be put on hold.
“These conflicting forces render Obama helpless to harm America,” he says. “Ironically, he may thus turn out to be one of the best presidents we’ve ever had.”
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth