Archive for the ‘Adolf Hitler’ Tag

STAKES HIGH IN “ABRAHAM LINCOLN, VAMPIRE HUNTER.”   Leave a comment

PERFECT CASTING: Benjamin Walker is a better young Abe Lincoln than Henry Fonda.

By C. Michael Forsyth

As a former writer for Weekly World News, I appreciate the craft that goes into taking a ludicrous premise and making it come true. I was once assigned an article headlined “Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers.” A challenging task, since the father of communism died before any of the comedians were born.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter makes the absurd believable with the greatest success of any horror movie since Darkness Falls rebooted the Tooth Fairy as a monster.

The filmmakers pull off this tour de force thanks largely to brilliant casting. Benjamin Walker is a terrific Honest Abe and his earnest performance helps us forget that history is being turned on its head. Strapping and handsome, with just the right mix of naivety and gravitas, he’s as perfect for the role as Christopher Reeve was as Superman.

Second only to Jesus, Lincoln is the most difficult acting role. Even a great actor like Sam Waterson tends to appear corny when he dons that iconic stovepipe hat and starts spouting folksy aphorisms. Just ask the poor dude who played Lincoln in that Star Trek episode where aliens force history’s heroes and villains to duke it out (arguably the series’ worst). Walker is actually a more convincing young Abe Lincoln than Henry Fonda and in makeup as old Abe looks strikingly like photos of the martyred president.

Also well cast are Rufus Sewell as Adam, the icy and domineering king of the vampires, and Erin Wasson as his henchwoman. The blonde with the bee-stung lips is one of the most gorgeous female bloodsuckers ever to grace the silver screen.

VAMPIRE LORD (Rufus Sewell) is a formidable foe.

Another reason the film works is that regardless of the goofy concept, there is a truth at its core. When I read the book by Seth Grahame-Smith, I took it as more than just an clever interweaving of biographical information and fantasy. It’s an allegory. Slave masters were in a very real sense vampires: pseudo-aristocratic parasites living off humans they saw as cattle.

The movie manages to overcome a hurdle as high as the laughable premise: That we know the hero can’t die (at least not until he relaxes with an outing to the theater). I call this the James Bond Time Bomb Dilemma. When 007 is diffusing a nuclear weapon that’s ticking down from 90 seconds, we’re supposed to be on the edge of our seats. But in reality it’s bogus suspense since we all know he’s going to survive. Who really sweats?

Director Timur Bekmambetov slams the audience with vampire-battling scenes so dynamic that viewers forget Lincoln must prevail. One of the most memorable fights takes place in the midst of a stampede. Grahame-Smith, who also wrote the screenplay, lends a hand by throwing out most of the confrontations in the book and replacing them with more ingenious ones. So even if you’ve read the novel, you’re constantly startled.

Thankfully, the writer also alters the ending, which I found the most unsatisfying of any novel I’ve ever read.

RUNAWAY TRAIN: ABE and his boyhood pal Will (Anthony Mackie) see trouble down the line.

Of course, not every critic found this theater-going experience as delightful as I did. One reviewer admonished the movie-makers for indulging in “revisionist history.” And, sadly, he wasn’t deliberately trying to be funny. That’s like calling The Lion King an inaccurate nature documentary!

Some just couldn’t get past the silliness of the whole idea of juxtaposing a famous historical figure with popular movie monsters. Hey, to me that’s where the fun comes in. Others found the “reimagining” of the Civil War as a battle against pure evil too heavy-handed.

Hello? The Civil War was a battle against pure evil, as surely as World War II. What the heck do you think Hitler was trying to create? A society made up of a Master Race and slaves. The antebellum south was the Nazi state fully realized, and thank God Abraham Lincoln took an ax to it.

If you have any doubt about this, re-read the Gettysburg Address. You’ll see that the “stakes” were as high in the real Civil War as the one depicted in this vampire flick.

HONEST ABE took an ax to slavery.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

PRISON life becomes even more hellish when a vampire epidemic erupts in a women's prison.

PRISON life becomes even more hellish when a vampire epidemic erupts in a women’s prison.


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I’m excited to announce the launch of my first graphic novel, Night Cage! The premise of the horror story is simple: Vampires take over a women’s prison. Just imagine Orange is the New Black meets Salem’s Lot.

The project is being funded through Kickstarter. Folks who jump on the bandwagon will get a boatload of goodies and rewards, ranging from advance copies of the book and exclusive art, posters and T-shirts to a chance to be drawn into the graphic novel as a character!

Please check out the video out HERE, and share the news with all your social media friends!

PRISONERS fight for survival against a bloodthirsty army of the undead in the graphic novel Night Cage.

PRISONERS fight for survival against a bloodthirsty army of the undead in the graphic novel Night Cage.

President Lincoln may have wiped out America's vampires, but werewolves still roam free. The author of this article wrote the horror novel Hour of the Beast, considered by many the best werewolf novel since The Howling.

To check out Hour of the Beast and hear Chapter One read FREE click HERE! The Ebook is a measly $5.

JUDGE BARS COUPLE FROM NAMING BABY ADOLF HITLER   1 comment

Nazi monster Adolf Hitler butchered millions in World War II.

By C. Michael Forsyth

A Minneapolis couple is appealing a judge’s decision that bars them from naming their newborn baby Adolf Hitler.

Judge Anthony J. Karwaski imposed the injunction on October 2, ruling that it would be “cruel and irresponsible” to burden a child with the name of the Nazi madman, because the youngster is likely to be mercilessly teased.

Since the story came to light, the parents have been bombarded with hate mail, branding them as antisemites, Nazi scum and skinheads. But the tot’s father, a tax attorney, insists that the government shouldn’t stick its nose into private family business and that strangers should “mind their own beeswax.”

“This stuff about antisemitism is just plain crazy,” declares Noah Hitler, 38. “We’re Jewish ourselves, for Heaven’s sake. When your last name is Hitler, you’re going to take some ribbing. We figure you might as well go whole hog and be Adolf, so you can at least have some fun with it.

“Sure, we could name our son ‘Felix,’ like my mother-in-law wants us to do. But does anyone really think a kid named Felix Hitler won’t get teased in school?”

Noah’s family hails from the Corinthian province of Austria, where Hitler is a fairly common name. His grandfather Kurt, who barely escaped from Auschwitz with his life, refused to change his last name when he emigrated to America, because they’d been a prominent family in the town for many generations.

“When I got my law degree and was sending out resumes, I thought about changing my name,” admits Noah. “But Grandpa sat me down and said, ‘Hitler is a proud name — no matter how much a certain idiot tried to ruin it.’ ”

The family believes that the teasing risk is being blown out of proportion.

Silent film legend Charlie Chaplin, seen here in “The Great Dictator,” is often confused with Adolf Hitler by high schoolers, educators say.

“Little kids don’t know who Hitler is, and most American teens today don’t either,” points out mom Rachel Hitler, 29, a high-school English teacher.

“I recently showed five of my seniors a picture of Hitler and asked them who it was. One had no idea, three identified him as Charlie Chaplin and another said Buster Keaton!”

A higher court is not expected to rule in the case until June. Until then, the baby is officially listed as Child 268 in documents. The father is confident that in the end, parental rights will trump other concerns and the boy will grow up Adolf Hitler.

“Yeah, he’ll probably get some good-natured kidding from buddies at the workplace. He’ll definitely have to develop a thick skin,” says Noah. “But the name will be a great conversation starter at house parties.

“And I wouldn’t be surprised if it helps him pick up girls when he’s a young man. Imagine introducing yourself to a couple of cuties at a bar. They say, ‘Naw, I don’t believe it.’ You show them your driver’s license and they’re totally blown away and call over all their pretty friends.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

If you only read ONE werewolf novel this month, make it Hour of the Beast by C. Michael Forsyth.

Check out the terrifying Hour of the Beast by clicking HERE.

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