Archive for October 2010
By C. Michael Forsyth
SALEM, Mass. — In recent years, millions of devout born-again Christians nationwide have begun to ban their children from dressing up on Halloween night, hoping to protect them from ungodly influences. But that has backfired — and made the innocent tots easy prey for evil spirits, a top expert warns.
“Not putting a costume on your child on Halloween night is incredibly dangerous and irresponsible,” warns Vatican-trained exorcist Dr. James Huntingworth, a leading expert on the occult.
“You might as well send them bike riding without a helmet or tell them to go play stickball in the middle of a busy six-lane highway.”
While few Christians complained about Halloween in decades past, lately many evangelical preachers have told their flocks not to celebrate the October 31st holiday, because it has pagan roots.
“They say that it dates back to Celtic times, when it was known as the festival of Samhain, the Day of the Dead,” says Dr. Huntingworth. “And that much is true.
“The ancient Druids believed that on Halloween night, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead blurred and the spirits of the departed walked the Earth.
“Now here’s the important part, which these preachers forget to tell you: The Druid priests taught that wicked spirits would hunt for living bodies to possess. And the only way to foil these roving ghosts was to dress in an ugly costume to make your body unattractive.
“The practice worked and kept the ancient British islanders safe from possession for hundreds of years. And the tradition, carried on over here, protected generations of American children as well.”
In the wholesome 1950s, when Beaver Cleaver and almost every other child in the United States went trick-or-treating in costume, possession by ghosts was extremely rare – virtually unheard of, the expert points out.
“But in the last 15 years, as more and more parents have forbidden their kids from wearing costumes, we’ve seen a disturbing trend,” reveals Dr. Huntingworth. “Possession is steadily on the rise. In 2009 alone, there were a reported 452 possessions of U.S. children on Halloween night – and those are just the ones we know about.
“I investigated 27 of these cases and in every single one, the child was not wearing a costume. The children’s parents were all born-again Christians who didn’t allow them to dress up.
“Not putting a protective costume on your child exposes them to the very real risk of being possessed by the evil dead. It’s like taping a target on their back, or a sign that says, ‘Come get me.’”
Dr. Huntingworth is aware that, with time running out before Halloween night, the pickings may be slim at discount stores. But any costume that disguises your child will work.
“Even if you have to dig up an old bed sheet, cut out eye holes and call it a ghost costume, do it,” the exorcist advises. “Sure, your child may get teased, and if he’s African American, he might hear, ‘Hey, Tyrone, I see you’re a Klansman this year.’ But which is more important, avoiding some good-natured ribbing, or avoiding possession?
“If you don’t mind having little Billy’s body get taken over by the likes of Ted Bundy, or waking up the morning after Halloween with your daughter Sally standing over your bed with Lizzie Borden inhabiting her, by all means keep them out of costumes.
“But if you care about your child’s soul, I’m begging you: please, please, PLEASE dress them up this Halloween.”
Although youngsters are far more vulnerable to possession, the expert adds that it’s vital for grownups to dress up too. Even the most pious individual can be taken over by an evil spirit – and indeed, the Devil’s minions consider it their greatest triumph to possess the innocent.
“It can be as simple as a zombie mask, a pirate outfit or even a cheap little Groucho Marx nose, mustache and glasses,” Dr. Huntingworth explains.
“If you’re a modest, church-going woman, there’s no need to put on some revealing maid or nurse costume. In fact, a really sexy get-up defeats the whole purpose of wearing a costume — making your body unattractive to ghosts — and can actually invite them in. Just put on a simple Michelle Obama mask or go as a clown if you’re the shy type.”
And while convincing many adult males to wear a costume can be like pulling teeth, the expert warns that it’s absolutely crucial that wives do it.
“Otherwise, you make wake up with Adolf Hitler’s ghost in your husband.”
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth. All rights reserved
Bug (Max Thieriot) makes an unsettling discovery
I’m a huge fan of Wes Craven. Pound for pound, the original “Nightmare on Elm Street” is the best horror movie of the last three decades (inspiring the most unnecessary remake in cinema history earlier this year). Mixing sadism with surrealism, it’s the only fright flick that actually made me sleep with the lights on as an adult. In “Wes Craven’s Nightmare,” the filmmaker managed to make dream demon Freddy Krueger scary again after five progressively worse sequels — solidifying Craven’s status as a genius in my book. That picture, released in 1994, was Craven’s last outing as both writer and director, and ever since, his devotees have been chafing at the bit for his comeback as an auteur.
Sad to say, “My Soul to Take” isn’t worth the wait.
Oh, the film starts off promisingly enough. The first five minutes are actually riveting. We see mild-mannered family man Abel Plenkov watch a TV news report about a knife-wielding serial killer dubbed the Riverton Ripper – only to discover to his horror that one of his own multiple personalities is the murderer. Abel fatally stabs his pregnant wife and battles police, who gun him down. But he proves hard to kill and bounces back several times, Jason-like, before vanishing into the woods with what could be fatal wounds. At the same time, seven babies are born prematurely in the local hospital.
Sixteen years later, the seven kids, now known as the “Riverton Seven,” convene in the woods to repeat their annual ritual: “killing” Abel Plenkov in effigy to prevent him from returning to murder them. Unfortunately, the police interrupt the ceremony and soon the teens do indeed begin to die one by one. The audience is then kept guessing: is Plenkov still alive and wreaking havoc — or has the soul of the Riverton Ripper invaded the body of one of the teens, to carry on his grisly work?
I found the premise of personalities migrating into young people who are then psychically linked intriguing. The concept suggests myriad possibilities – which are not, unfortunately, explored in the film. And by the time we are introduced to the notion that Plenkov’s soul – or just his serial-killer personality – might inhabit one of the teens, most of the possible suspects have already been bumped off. So the film doesn’t work as a supernatural whodunit.
The killings themselves are quite unimaginatively executed, and are sure to disappoint the blood-and-guts crowd. The teens are one-dimensional stereotypes: the boorish jock, the religious chick, the noble black blind kid, the self-centered blonde, etc. The victims also do those stupid things that make it hard for you to root for them — like heading INTO a Freddy Kruegerish boiler room (or whatever it’s supposed to be) when they hear a creepy noise inside, or running headlong into the woods when the safety of a police car is just yards away.
The only fully-developed character is Bug, played well by Max Thieriot. Shy, sensitive and unstable, he appears to be developing multiple personality disorder himself. We are supposed to spend a good deal of the movie trying to figure out whether Bug is actually the culprit. Except there’s one major problem: we often see the killer in action when Bug is clearly somewhere else!
In the dénouement, the supernatural element is hurriedly explained, but it really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
The ads make a big deal of the movie being Wes Craven’s first foray into 3-D, but not once is the effect used to scare us. It turns out 3-D was an afterthought. While “My Soul to Take” sat on a shelf, awaiting distribution, someone had the bright idea of converting it to 3-D, to capitalize on the latest trend. The only purpose appears to be to force movie goers to shell out a few extra bucks. Having to wear those clunky 3-D glasses made this less-than-satisfying movie-going experience even more annoying.
So two thumbs down for Craven’s “comeback” movie. Maybe he’ll be in better form when his next project, “Scream 4,” bloodies up the big screen.
BACK FOR MORE: Spunky Sarah battles a woman-eating subterranean freak.
By C. Michael Forsyth
I’m not ashamed to admit that the 2005 British movie “The Descent” scared the living daylights out of me. In fact, I’d have to count it among the most frightening flicks I’ve ever seen. The predicament of the six female spelunkers trapped in the bowels of an Appalachian cave and stalked by cannibalistic mutants is plenty harrowing even BEFORE the monsters show up. The heroines must combat claustrophobia, cave-ins, narrow tunnels that trap victims like rats, perilous drops and more. Of course, when the naked, drooling “crawlers” begin to pick them off, the situation gets worse in a hurry.
Now, the premise was not especially original. ‘The Cave,” which was released the same year, introduced a more novel concept: a germ that causes every living thing it infects to become vampire-like. In contrast, creepy underground races have been haunting our imagination at least as far back as “Superman and the Mole Men.” (And let’s not forget the old Weekly World News mascot Batboy, who looks like a benign version of the crawlers.) But the realism of the cave sequences (although filmed on a set) gave the movie a powerful impact. And while the crawlers are not all that tough as movie monsters go (a fit woman can beat one in a fair fight and their heads cave in easily), the slimy, maggot-colored critters really do make your skin crawl. Plus, forgive me if this sounds sexist, but the fact that the unlucky cave explorers were all women – with no male “protectors” — heightened the terror level.
Still, I wasn’t particularly looking forward to a sequel. We all know the vast majority are gratuitous, a naked ploy by money-grubbing producers to squeeze every last dime out of an idea. And since in most cases, the creators have gone onto bigger and better things and the follow-ups are turned over to young hacks with no loyalty to the original, the result is almost always disappointing. In this instance, although the original’s writer/director Neil Marshall stepped aside for director Jon Harris and writer J. Blakeson, he remained on board as producer. The creative team stays true to the themes of the original and manages to recapture the tension and claustrophobic horror.
Instead of doing the obvious and mimicking the original’s successful formula – say, by sending down a fresh crop of all-girl adventurers — the filmmakers pick up the story where the last one left off. Sole survivor Sarah (Shauna McDonald) has somehow made it to the surface and stumbles out of the woods. Traumatized and bloodied, she is unable to recall anything about her ordeal. Accompanying a mixed-gender rescue party, Sarah reluctantly returns to the cave in search of her companions.
Early on, I thought I’d pegged the movie as a turkey. The sheriff (Gavan O’Herlihy) makes some absurdly stupid decisions that strain the audience’s ability to suspend disbelief. For starters, he drags Sarah from her hospital bed to return to the cave, supposedly to help the rescuers negotiate their way through the maze of tunnels – although she clearly has amnesia! And HANDCUFFING himself to another person while fleeing the carnivorous sub-humanoids isn’t exactly prudent either.
Sarah’s abrupt switch from shell-shocked victim to monster-killing superwoman – ala Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley in “Aliens” – is also a bit hard to swallow. And, at first, it seems like the characters, who quickly get separated due to a cave-in, are going to be bumped off in fairly predictable order. But the encounters with the crawlers are truly terrifying and exciting, each one a well-executed set-piece. The outcome of these battles rarely seem predetermined; I defy you to guess correctly who will die and when. As in the original, the intensity of the relationships gives the movie some dramatic heft. And the themes of revenge and self-sacrifice are revisited here.
In one aspect, this movie is actually an improvement over the original. The characters look different and are distinctly drawn. In the original “Descent,” the women looked and sounded so much alike, other than the exotic, indomitable Juno (Hong Kong- born Natalie Mendoza), I had difficulty telling the women apart and was even unsure of how many of them there were! Here it’s easier to root for particular characters to survive.
Like the original, the movie has a downbeat and rather puzzling ending. Maybe some kind reader will explain it to me in a comment. Or perhaps all will be made clear in the inevitable “Descent 3.”
So, as sequels go, I have to give this one a solid B+. Maybe not as fresh and shocking as the original, but spooky enough to merit a place on your Netflix queue.
TERROR STALKS THE WOODS in this video promoting "Hour of the Beast." To watch it, click below.
To see the book trailer for C. Michael Forsyth’s critically acclaimed horror novel Hour of the Beast, and hear Chapter One read by the author, CLICK HERE.
The FACE OF EVIL: Twisted maniac Kim Jong Il hates animals
By C. Michael Forsyth
PYONGYANG, North Korea – In an unspeakably cruel act, heartless tyrant Kim Jong il has ordered the slaughter of all of his nation’s unicorns!
The endangered creatures, believed to number fewer than 100 in the wild, could all be rounded up and shot by as early as January if the diminutive despot gets his way.
“This is heartbreaking beyond measure,” declared Ms. Akemi R. Yamashita of the Tokyo-based League for Animal Justice. “These magnificent creatures are not only majestic and breathtakingly beautiful, they are a centuries-old symbol of purity and good. To destroy them wholesale is both senseless and evil.”
Unicorns were long believed to be merely the stuff of myth, until the 1992 discovery of a single specimen in Vietnam’s Vu Quang Nature Preserve, near the Laotian border. The sensational find, along with the discovery of a previously unknown species of egg-laying mammal, made headlines worldwide, although news accounts became muddled due to a photograph of its close relative the saola just hours earlier the same day.
Experts believe unicorns were hunted to the brink of extinction by peasants who used the gentle animals’ horns, in powdered form, as an aphrodisiac.
The majority of the remaining herds dwell in the remote Mount Paekdu Reserve in North Korea. The sprawling, 326,000-acre jungle is the habitat of many other endangered species, including the Siberian tiger, and is a protected U. N. forest preserve. But that didn’t stop pint-sized potentate Kim Jong il from issuing his bizarre October 18 decree that “useless” unicorns are to be “destroyed by year’s end.”
Though widely condemned by animal-rights organizations across Asia, the communist government of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea vigorously defends the madman’s decision. Officials claim that meat from the horse-like mammals is badly needed to feed the country’s starving people.
“First the capitalists attack our noble leader for not doing enough about the famine in our nation. Now, when he takes decisive action, he is maligned again,” argued Da-Hyung Nang, a spokesman for the Ministry of Information. “Which is more important, human life or a handful of horses with horns?”
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth. All rights reserved
HELP STOP THE MADNESS!
You can join the fight to save these precious creatures – before they are wiped off the face of the Earth forever. Email letters of support to your local chapter of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). They’ll see that your voice his heard by U.N. officials, who will put pressure on North Korea.
This writer's terrifying new novel HOUR OF THE BEAST is the perfect gift for Halloween! Give the gift of scary fun this year. And the eBOOK is a steal at just $5! Critics are calling it "gripping" and "Difficult to put down."
To check it out Hour of the Beast, CLICK HERE.
By C. Michael Forsyth
CHIGAGO – Forget what you’ve seen in Hollywood horror flicks like “Underworld.” Vampires and werewolves get on famously — and the friendly relationship dates back many centuries, according to top experts in the field.
“Many of my closest pals are werewolves,” reveals Charles Vinowinski, a self-proclaimed Chicago vampire who says he’s 128 years old, but looks a spry 60. “We go bowling together, hang out and visit each other’s homes to play board games on Saturday nights.”
The chummy relationship between the two species is a far cry from the hit movie “Underworld,” which depicts a war that’s been waged for eons.
“The vampire-werewolf alliance can be traced at least as far back as ancient Rome,” asserts folklorist Dr. Hans Reintenhauser of the Berlin Institute for the Study of Unusual Phenomenon.
“During the dark ages, vampires and werewolves were known to hunt together and operate in pairs. During the day, while in human form, the lycanthrope would protect the sleeping vampire from those who would do him or her harm.
“Because in those days both species were persecuted by ordinary people, they needed to work hand in hand for the sake of their own survival.”
Such “odd couples” still exist in modern times, according to the expert, author of the upcoming book, “Friends Forever: The Untold Story of the Vampire-Werewolf Kinship.”
“Yes there is sometimes rivalry between the two, which are so different in their temperaments; some good-natured ribbing and occasional bickering,” says Dr. Reintenhauser. “But it’s like something you’d see in a buddy movie like ‘Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,’ or between Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in the ‘Rush Hour’ pictures. Deep down, there is an abundance of love and respect.”
Since both vampires and werewolves are believed to be immortal – barring a run-in with the business end of a sharpened stake or silver bullet – “buddy” pairs develop an incredibly strong bond over the centuries.
“Imagine a comedy duo like Abbot and Costello, who’ve worked together so long they can anticipate each other’s every thought, can finish each others’ sentences and have impeccable timing,” explains the researcher. “Now imagine that kind of link strengthening over the course of a thousand or more years.”
Wolfman Henry Yerbrough, 241, has such a close-knit bond with his longtime associate Jean-Claude Dujardane, whom he claims he met in a field hospital during the War of 1812.
“Jean-Claude and I are like brothers,” smiles Yerbrough, of Milwaukee. “He was the best man at my wedding and I’m the godfather of his three kids. When we travel, we share a hotel room and once a year we go fishing together in the mountains.
“A lot of people assume we’re gay, especially since I work in a hair salon,” he adds with a chuckle. “But trust me, I love women as much as the next guy.”
Brooklyn native Ed Neidorf Jr., who is comparatively young as vampires go, at age 78, says he can only remember a single violent encounter with werewolves.
“This was in the early 1950s and there was a ‘rumble’ between a couple of rival vampire and werewolf gangs,” recalls the plumbing contactor, who still sports jet-black hair. “No one was killed, but there were some minor injuries. I remember some pretty nasty epithets being hurled at me, like ‘bloodsucker’ and “leech.’
“We were all just young and stupid then.”
When vampires and lycanthropes see movies like “Underworld” and “Twilight Saga: New Moon,” which also portrays the two groups as age-old enemies, it makes their blood boil.
“Hollywood makes it look as if we fight like cats and dogs,” fumes Vinowinski, a house inspector. “Nothing could be further from the truth.”
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth. All rights reserved
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
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SPEAKING OF VAMPIRES
PRISON life becomes even more hellish when a vampire epidemic erupts in a women’s prison.
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I’m excited to announce the launch of my first graphic novel, Night Cage! The premise of the horror story is simple: Vampires take over a women’s prison. Just imagine Orange is the New Black meets Salem’s Lot.
The project is being funded through Kickstarter. Folks who jump on the bandwagon will get a boatload of goodies and rewards, ranging from advance copies of the book and exclusive art, posters and T-shirts to a chance to be drawn into the graphic novel as a character!
Please check out the video out HERE, and share the news with all your social media friends!
PRISONERS fight for survival against a bloodthirsty army of the undead in the graphic novel Night Cage.
To check the shocking and controversial Hour of the Beast, CLICK HERE.
By C. Michael Forsyth
“The Wolfman” could not possibly find a more receptive audience than yours truly. As a child I was scared out of my wits by the 1941 original. (I was even terrified by Lon Chaney Jr.’s straight-faced reprise of the role in “Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein”). The movie gave me werewolf nightmares for decades. I’ve always found the flesh-ripping, rampaging man-beasts more frightening than those urbane vampires, with whom one could conceivably reason. While I’m not a big believer in remakes, when I learned that a “Wolfman” update was in the works, I eagerly anticipated it. The prospect of what modern special effects could add to the story intrigued me. And when I saw the trailer, with its grade A set design and period costumes, along with gorgeous cinematography, I immediately put the film on the top of my must-see list.
To boot, the picture stars two of my favorite actors. I’ve been a fan of Anthony Hopkins since his chilling performance as a crazed ventriloquist in 1978’s “Magic.” (Just watch his face contort as a psychiatrist makes him try to keep his evil dummy silent for one minute). I’ve been following Benicio del Toro’s career with interest since his riveting turn as a brooding, switchblade-wielding henchman in the 1989 James Bond movie “License to Kill.” He even made my list of the top five Bond henchman.
Unfortunately, this man-wolf movie turns out to be a dog.
PROBLEM NUMBER 1: THE FILM ISN’T SCARY. The monster shows up way too early and appears on screen way too long. As is usually the case with movie monsters, this diminishes its ability to menace. I must admit, though, that the werewolf makeup — an update of the classic Universal version of the ‘40s — is pretty good, and a nice change from the usual “Howling”-type lycanthrope.
While the body count is impressive (I guarantee you’ll lose count) virtually all of the killings are of anonymous characters we’ve never seen before; monster fodder we couldn’t care less about.
PROBLEM NUMBER 2: THE FILM’S MAJOR PLOT TWIST IS INTERESTING, BUT IT’S TELEGRAPHED EARLY ON. Actually, “telegraphed” is far too generous. After all, to understand a telegraph machine, you need to know Morse code. This twist is displayed in bright red letters so big that unless you have trouble seeing the “E” on an eye chart, you’ll spot it a mile away.
PROBLEM NUMBER 3: THE PERFORMANCES ARE DREADFUL. Hopkins, who won an Oscar for his portrayal of Hannibal Lecter in “Silence of the Lambs,” phones in this performance as the title character’s dad. Perhaps Sir Anthony has become too high and mighty to give a “mere” horror movie his all. Or maybe the veteran actor’s experienced nose recognized the movie as a turkey and he decided to just take the money and run. Or perhaps he was just having a bad few weeks. Hopkins is one of those actors (like fellow Welshman Richard Burton) who is really good when he’s good, and REALLY bad when he’s bad).
But it’s del Toro’s wooden performance as the doomed, werewolf-bitten protagonist Larry Talbot that really sinks the film. He wears only one expression throughout the 103-minute movie: brooding. Come to think if it, he was at his best as the BROODING cop in “Traffic.” Maybe as an actor the guy is just a one-trick pony.
It’s interesting that in the remake, the screenwriters chose to make Talbot an actor. But it’s a stretch to believe del Toro’s character has the risibility to emote on stage (especially during the 19th century, an era of extreme theatrical flamboyance).
In this story, the monster is also the hero, so if we can’t empathize with him, the drama falls flat. Lon Chaney Jr. was no Laurence Olivier (nor even a Lon Chaney Sr.). But he killed as Lenny in “Of Mice and Men” and he killed as Larry Talbot (no pun intended). We rooted for him to somehow escape his tragic predicament, just as we would later feel we were in the trenches with “that Doctor Pepper guy” in “An American Werewolf in London.” We don’t give two cents about del Toro’s lackluster Larry.
PROBLEM NUMBER 4: THE MOVIE’S CLIMAX FEATURES THE MOST ANNOYING HORROR CLICHÉ: TWO MONSTERS FIGHTING. My apologies to those of you who salivated at the prospect of Jason taking on Freddy Krueger, or Alien going toe-to-toe with Predator, but I usually find such clashes more comical than gripping. And most of the time, I find myself asking, “Who are we supposed to root for?”
SO TO RECAP, we’re talking about a horror movie that isn’t scary, a plot twist that doesn’t surprise us, a leading man who can’t act and a climax that’s laughable. Does at least the romantic SUBPLOT work? Nope.
PROBLEM NUMBER 5: THE ROMANCE BETWEEN TALBOT AND HIS SISTER-IN-LAW GWEN (EMILY BLUNT) IS UNCONVINCING. The love angle is called for by the movie’s structure, but it comes out of nowhere and feels forced. Plus del Toro and Blunt have little onscreen chemistry.
This hurts because the film’s denouement hinges on our belief that Gwen would risk her life for Larry. When Gwen vows to rescue Larry from the curse and seeks the counsel of the old Gypsy woman, the screenwriters had an opportunity to inject an interesting new element into the “Wolfman” mythology: a possible cure. Instead, the meeting is a bust. So Gwen rushes to the dangerous Talbot estate with no plan – except to run like hell. And, as we recall from the cult classic “Tremors,” “Running isn’t a plan. Running is what you do when a plan fails.”
However, in this case, I would say that if you happen to come across “The Wolfman” on the shelf in your local Blockbuster, that SHOULD be your plan: run like hell!
Speaking of werewolves, check out this story I wrote for Weekly World News, under one of my many pseudonyms: “Moon Rays Turned Apollo Astronauts into Werewolves!” http://books.google.com/books?id=0_MDAAAAMBAJ&lpg=PA51&ots=ltMYwUPq_S&dq=weekly%20world%20news%20astronauts%20werewolves&pg=PA51#v=onepage&q&f=false
Not all werewolf flick suck. Check out this video promoting the book Hour of the Beast.
To see the Hour of the Beast book trailer and hear Chapter One of the shocking, controversial horror, CLICK HERE.
Based on a 2008 Swedish film and the novel by John Ajvide Lindqvist, “Let Me In” easily makes my list of the 10 best vampire movies ever made. (Look for my picks in an upcoming post.)
The protagonist is Owen, a shy, frail, 12-year-old boy who is picked on mercilessly by bullies. Owen’s life brightens when a (seemingly) young girl named Abby moves into the apartment next door with a man who appears to be her father. Owen falls in love with the pretty, fair-haired lass – unaware that she is a vampire.
The movie owes a debt, obviously, to “Interview with the Vampire,” which also features a little girl vampire. But unlike that film’s Claudia, who resents being a woman trapped forever in a child’s body, Abby never ages in her own mind. She remains a pre-teen, prone to schoolgirl crushes. As she tells Owen after he discovers her secret and asks how old she is, “I’m 12. I’ve just been 12 for a long time.”
Masterfully, the film’s writer-director Matt Reeves is able to make this at once a tender love story and a grisly tale of terror. With its theme of star-crossed young lovers, it has echoes of “Romeo and Juliet.” Indeed, Franco Zeffirelli’s sumptuous 1968 film of the play is referenced in a brief clip, as well as in the horror movie’s haunting score. The filmmaker makes Abby sweet, ethereal and tantalizing, while not pulling any punches when it comes to her monstrous nature. Her vicious, predatory and cunning side is put on full display in several gory, frightening scenes. (I don’t think I’m giving too much away when I tell you that those bullies buy the farm in spectacular fashion – you know they’re toast pretty much as soon as they appear on screen).
Much of the credit goes to 13-year-old Chloe Moretz, who plays Abby. With her dreamy eyes and bee-stung lips, this nymphet has an allure not unlike that of Olivia Hussey, who was just two years older when she made prepubescent boys’ hearts flutter as Juliet in the Zeffirelli film.
It’s enough to make you understand why Owen is willing to sacrifice everything for Abby, even his own innocence.
Speaking of little girl vampires, check out this strange news item I reported for Weekly World News, headlined, “COUNTESS DRACULA REINCARNATED AS THREE-YEAR-OLD GIRL.” http://books.google.com/books?id=2_MDAAAAMBAJ&lpg=PA5&ots=2XY-5L7IbW&dq=Countess%20%20Dracula%20reincarnated%20as%20this%203-year-old%20girl%20weekly%20world%20news&pg=PA5#v=onepage&q&f=false
KNOCK, KNOCK! Vampires like Abby (Chloe Moretz) can only enter your home if you let them in.
Fans of M. Night Shalyman are accustomed to being disappointed in the “Sixth Sense” director’s work. He has, sadly, emerged as a cinematic one-hit wonder. Nevertheless, up until now his sin has primarily been intriguing premises, squandered. Thus he makes the best trailers in the business, though not the best films. But with “Devil,” even the trailer forewarns us that the movie is a stinker.
The underlying premise – five strangers stuck in an elevator, one of whom is Satan, killing the others one by one – is, frankly, dumb. Still, as always, I rushed to the latest Shalyman offering, holding out hope that he will bring back the magic. Kind of like that perpetual sucker Charlie Brown believing that THIS time, Lucy will hold the football in place when he tries to kick it.
We know we’re in trouble right off the bat when Shalyman relies on voice over – the weapon of the weak narrative film maker – to explain the supernatural element. (Just as he did to even poorer effect in his worst movie, “Lady in the Water.”) The proposition that the Devil torments and then personally kills sinners before they go to Hell anyway really doesn’t make much sense. Annoyingly, the narration returns to serve up lame explanations for other, even more illogical aspects of the film’s mythology. For instance, that Lucifer ALSO bumps off completely innocent non-sinners along the way. This seems to be an excuse to beef up the movie’s body count, beyond the doomed passengers.
To make matters worse, these innocents are killed doing incredibly stupid things (Remember kids, water and high-voltage cables don’t mix).
The disparate-strangers-trapped-under-bizarre-circumstances theme has a stale feeling to it, perhaps because it was recycled in so many “Twilight Zone” episodes. (You know, are we all in Hell’s waiting room this week, or are we really toys in a child’s toy chest?) In this case, it’s not helpful that the passengers are all quite unlikable. They’re damned sinners, you’ll recall, so how sympathetic could they be? We don’t root for anyone in particular – we just sit there waiting to see who dies next. Even the mystery angle to this five-little-Indians melodrama fails miserably. Shalyman doesn’t give us a chance to figure out who the demonic culprit is. Instead, he solves the mystery for us with a steady process of elimination, with the choices quickly dwindling before our eyes.
Dramatically, the movie never gets above the ground floor, because the five trapped passengers do almost nothing to try to facilitate their own survival. That role is left to a police detective (ably played by Chris Messina) who follows every logical step as he valiantly tries to save the passengers from their rapidly deteriorating dilemma.
For a change, in this Shalyman movie, his trademark twist ending is actually satisfying, for the first time since “Signs.” But by then, it’s way too late. You wish you’d never stepped aboard this instantly forgettable elevator to mediocrity. My recommendation: when you hear that there’s “room for one more” audience member in this movie, wait for the next one to come along.
ROOM FOR ONE MORE? Just before all Hell breaks loose.
C. Michael Forsyth
This is my very first blog and I suppose I ought to start by introducing myself. I’m a Yale graduate with a Masters degree in film from NYU. I also happen to be a very big fan of horror movies. Each week, I’ll give you my humble opinion of the latest flicks to hit the theaters or to come out on DVD. Occasionally, I’ll also pick out something from the vault, an oldie but goodie that may have escaped your attention. I also happen to be a former staff reporter for the notorious Weekly World News. That’s right, I’m the dude who told you that “Bat Boy Led U.S. Troops to Saddam” and about “Hillary Clinton’s Hot Nights with Space Alien!” As I travel the globe, a freelancer now, I’ll keep you up to date on the latest bizarre and spooky true stories I come across. And I plan to open up my secret files for the first time ever and share with you some stories that were so shocking that even the Weekly World News was afraid to print them. So, buckle your seatbelts, folks, and get ready for one hell of a ride!
Horror News 