Archive for the ‘Bloodrayne’ Tag

Nazis, Vampires and Lesbians Brawl in “BloodRayne: The Third Reich.”   Leave a comment

BUTT-KICKING vampire slayer Rayne carves up Nazi bloodsuckers.

BUTT-KICKING vampire slayer Rayne carves up Nazi bloodsuckers.

By C. Michael Forsyth

How could I resist watching “BloodRayne: The Third Reich” when it popped up on Netflix? A sword-slinging Vampirella battling Nazis; steamy lesbian sex and Opie Taylor’s kid brother as a kooky Dr. Mengele-type makes for a C movie well worth a 3:00 a.m. viewing when you’re in the grip of insomnia.

Rayne, like Blade, is a dhampir – the offspring of a woman who was bitten by a vampire while pregnant. She has all the abilities of vampires, such as superhuman strength and speed, but none of their vulnerabilities. She’s immune to holy water, garlic, crucifixes, the insatiable thirst for human blood — and, most importantly, the “day walker” isn’t harmed by sunlight. She’s driven by a mission to wipe out the scourge of vampirism one bloodsucker at a time.

As this movie begins, however, the curvaceous heroine’s primary antagonists aren’t vampires. Instead she’s kicking the butts of Hitler’s stormtroopers in occupied Romania. Rayne is far from the first superhero to mix it up with the Nazis. Captain America and Superman duked it out with them decades ago. But it is novel to see a busty, fanged Xena-type taking on German soldiers with twin samurai swords. And Nazis are still the best villains of all time.

Rayne and her allies in the Resistance are put on the defensive after she inadvertently bites a German commandant. He inherits most of her unique traits and Rayne is horrified by having sired a vampire for the first time. She vows to put him down before he delivers to Adolf Hitler the power to spawn an invincible army.

STAR Natassia Malthe brings two big things to the role of Rayne.

STAR Natassia Malthe brings two big things to the role of Rayne.

The story is well written and although the low budget is clearly evident, the production values are good enough that you accept the time period and setting. The movie’s biggest flaw is the star Nastassia Malthe. The actress brings to role a pair of magnificent breasts and… well, that’s it. Her wooden performance is as awkward as an eighth grader auditioning for a school play. Making things even worse, she’s hampered by a ridiculous costume: an aviator-type leather hat with earflaps that looks like it belongs on a Peanuts character. Malthe takes over the part of Rayne from Kristina Loken, who appeared in the first two films in the series and presumably was more convincing.

SCIENCE PROJECT: Dr. Manger (Clint Howard) delights in experimenting on vampires.

SCIENCE PROJECT: Dr. Mangler (get it?) delights in experimenting on vampires.

On the plus side, you have former child actor Clint Howard as a Nazi doctor who conducts gruesome experiments on vampires. Ron Howard’s younger brother starred in the 1967-1969 TV show “Gentle Ben,” but he’s never had quite the squeaky clean, all-American looks and persona of Andy Griffith’s screen son. Here, he puts his rat-like teeth and raspy voice to good use in creating a very creepy and entertaining character.

ZEIG HELL! Nazi Commandant Brand (Michael Mare) is consumed by bloodlust.

Zeig HELL! Nazi Commandant Brand (Michael Mare) is consumed by bloodlust.

Michael Pare does not fare as well as Commandant Brand. I’ve always liked this actor, who appeared in “The Philadelphia Experiment,” and wonder why he wasn’t able to parlay his exceptional good looks and talent into a berth on the A-list. Here, however, he delivers a fairly bland performance. He acts pretty much the same before and after his conversion. Pare’s Brooklyn accent doesn’t help.

RAYNE takes out time from vamire slaying to enjoy a steamy massage.

RAYNE takes out time from vamire slaying to enjoy a steamy massage.

In the movie, we’re supposed to accept that the actors playing Germans and Romanians are speaking in their native languages, although we hear them speaking English with American accents. I understand the concept and it is totally logical. If we’re hearing characters speak as they sound to each other, why indeed should they have funny accents? The conceit was used in the classic commando flick “Where Eagles Dare” with mixed results. You could totally buy that when Richard Burton posing as a Nazi officer spoke in a clipped British accent, he was actually speaking German. When Clint Eastwood talked with an American accent it was harder to suspend disbelief.

The trouble with using this approach in a low-budget movie is that it risks the viewer thinking that the stars can’t act well enough to fake foreign accents.

Despite its flaws, the movie appears to be moving toward a rousing finale as a convoy led by the vampire commandant heads to Berlin to hand over the secret of immortality to Hitler. Unfortunately it ends rather abruptly. Darn! A scene of Rayne going toe to toe with a vampire Fuhrer would have elevated the film into a truly fun guilty pleasure. Instead, I’m afraid I can give it only a two out of five swastika rating.

PRISON life becomes even more hellish when a vampire epidemic erupts in a women's prison.

PRISON life becomes even more hellish when a vampire epidemic erupts in a women’s prison.


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I’m excited to announce the launch of my first graphic novel, Night Cage! The premise of the horror story is simple: Vampires take over a women’s prison. Just imagine Orange is the New Black meets Salem’s Lot.

The project is being funded through Kickstarter. Folks who jump on the bandwagon will get a boatload of goodies and rewards, ranging from advance copies of the book and exclusive art, posters and T-shirts to a chance to be drawn into the graphic novel as a character!

Please check out the video out HERE, and share the news with all your social media friends!

PRISONERS fight for survival against a bloodthirsty army of the undead in the graphic novel Night Cage.

PRISONERS fight for survival against a bloodthirsty army of the undead in the graphic novel Night Cage.

SPEAKING OF VAMPIRES…

The author of this article penned the riveting horror novel Hour of the Beast . In the opening pages a new bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. Then things get out of hand! Hear the shocking and terrifying Chapter One read for free by clicking HERE. Then choose Audio Clip.

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Poll: Who’s the Hottest Female Vampire of All Time?   Leave a comment

 

Who is the sexiest female vampire ever to grace the screen? Salma Hayek, hands down? Let’s not rush to judgment. Before voting in the poll below, take a gander at this bevy of bodacious, bloodsucking beauties:

SALMA HAYEK as Satánico Pandemónium in “From Dusk till Dawn.”

caption id=”attachment_2134″ align=”aligncenter” width=”200″] KATE BECKINSALE as Selene in “Underworld.”[/caption]

JULIE BENZ as Darla in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

JOSIE MARAN as Marishka in “Van Helsing” is quite fetching when she’s not buzzing peasants in her harpy form.

DEBRA ANN WOLL as Jessica Hamby in “True Blood.”

JENNIFER BEALS as Rachel in “Vampire’s Kiss.”

JAMIE GERTZ as Star in “The Lost Boys.”

RHONA MITRA as Sonja in “Underworld: Rise of the Lycans”

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Doomed Sharon Tate as Sarah Shagan in “The Fearless Vampire Killers.”

KRISTINNA LOKEN as Rayne in “Bloodrayne.”

NIKKI REED as Rosalie in “Twilight: Eclipse.”

BRITT NICHOLS as Luisa Karlstein in “Dracula’s Daughter.”

ANGIE EVERHART as Lillith in “Bordello of Blood.”

ANGELA BASSETT as Rita Veder in “A Vampire in Brooklyn.”

AALIYAH as Queen Akasha in “Queen of the Damned.”

SHERYL LEE as Katrina in John Carpenter’s “Vampires” can’t bite anyone — as long as 4th Baldwin brother Daniel doesn’t fall for the newly made vamp and untie her.

JENNIFER ESPOSITO as Solina in “Dracula 2000.”

Timeless beauty CATHERINE DENEUVE as Miriam Blaylock in “The Hunger.”

Double trouble! Mary and Madeleine Collinson as Frieda and Maria Gelhorn in “Twins of Evil.”

IZABELLA MIKO as Megan in “Forsaken”

MATHILDA MAY is a psychic vampire from outer space in “Lifesforce.”

ANNE PARILLAUD as Marie in “Innocent Blood.” It’s a horror-comedy (Don Rickles is one of the vampires). But in this steamy sequence her cop boyfriend handcuffs her before lovemaking as a precaution — and she snaps them in the heat of the moment!

VERA FILATOVA (on top) as Eva in “Lesbian Vampire Killers.”

NATASSIA MALTE takes over the title role in “Bloodrayne 2.”

NATASSIA MALTE takes over as Rayne in “Bloodrayne 2.”

JENNY WRIGHT as Mae in “Near Dark.”

Did I miss a spot? EVAN RACHEL WOOD as Sophie-Anne LeClerq in “True Blood.”

AMANDA DONOHUE as Lady Sylvia Marsh in “Lair of the White Worm” has a penchant for sipping blood and violating virgins with a gianormous strap-on.

SOLEDAD MIRANDA as Condesa Oskudar in “Vampyros Lesbos.”

In this cheesy and unflattering costume TALISA SOTO hardly does justice to a comic book character known for her epic curves in “Vampirella.”

Okay, to be fair, here is TALISA SOTO again, just to show producers weren’t crazy when they cast her as Vampirella.

RACHELLE LEFEVRE as in Victoria in “Twilight.”

PHINA ORUCHE as Cym in “Forsaken.”

KRISTIN BAUER as Pam De Beaufort in “True Blood.”

KRISTIN BAUER as Pam De Beaufort in “True Blood.”

MONICA BELLUCI as one of Dracula’s brides in “Bram Stoker’s Dracula.”

LUCY LIU as Sadie Blade in “Rise: Blood Hunter.”

KRISTEN BELL as Bella Swan finally joins the other team in “Twilight: Breaking Dawn.”

LUCY PINDER as Vampire Hooker in “Strippers vs. Werewolves”

INGRID PITT as Elizabeth Bathory in “Countess Dracula.”

ERIN WASSON as Vadoma in “Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.”

Copyright Freedoms Hammer Productions, LLC

Posted February 19, 2012 by C. Michael Forsyth in sexy vampire poll

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