Archive for the ‘Twilight’ Tag

VAMPIRES & WEREWOLVES ARE BEST OF FRIENDS, Researchers Now Say   Leave a comment

By C. Michael Forsyth

CHIGAGO – Forget what you’ve seen in Hollywood horror flicks like “Underworld.” Vampires and werewolves get on famously — and the friendly relationship dates back many centuries, according to top experts in the field.

“Many of my closest pals are werewolves,” reveals Charles Vinowinski, a self-proclaimed Chicago vampire who says he’s 128 years old, but looks a spry 60. “We go bowling together, hang out and visit each other’s homes to play board games on Saturday nights.”

The chummy relationship between the two species is a far cry from the hit movie “Underworld,” which depicts a war that’s been waged for eons.

“The vampire-werewolf alliance can be traced at least as far back as ancient Rome,” asserts folklorist Dr. Hans Reintenhauser of the Berlin Institute for the Study of Unusual Phenomenon.

“During the dark ages, vampires and werewolves were known to hunt together and operate in pairs. During the day, while in human form, the lycanthrope would protect the sleeping vampire from those who would do him or her harm.

“Because in those days both species were persecuted by ordinary people, they needed to work hand in hand for the sake of their own survival.”
Such “odd couples” still exist in modern times, according to the expert, author of the upcoming book, “Friends Forever: The Untold Story of the Vampire-Werewolf Kinship.”

“Yes there is sometimes rivalry between the two, which are so different in their temperaments; some good-natured ribbing and occasional bickering,” says Dr. Reintenhauser. “But it’s like something you’d see in a buddy movie like ‘Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,’ or between Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in the ‘Rush Hour’ pictures. Deep down, there is an abundance of love and respect.”

Since both vampires and werewolves are believed to be immortal – barring a run-in with the business end of a sharpened stake or silver bullet – “buddy” pairs develop an incredibly strong bond over the centuries.

“Imagine a comedy duo like Abbot and Costello, who’ve worked together so long they can anticipate each other’s every thought, can finish each others’ sentences and have impeccable timing,” explains the researcher. “Now imagine that kind of link strengthening over the course of a thousand or more years.”

Wolfman Henry Yerbrough, 241, has such a close-knit bond with his longtime associate Jean-Claude Dujardane, whom he claims he met in a field hospital during the War of 1812.

“Jean-Claude and I are like brothers,” smiles Yerbrough, of Milwaukee. “He was the best man at my wedding and I’m the godfather of his three kids. When we travel, we share a hotel room and once a year we go fishing together in the mountains.

“A lot of people assume we’re gay, especially since I work in a hair salon,” he adds with a chuckle. “But trust me, I love women as much as the next guy.”

Brooklyn native Ed Neidorf Jr., who is comparatively young as vampires go, at age 78, says he can only remember a single violent encounter with werewolves.

“This was in the early 1950s and there was a ‘rumble’ between a couple of rival vampire and werewolf gangs,” recalls the plumbing contactor, who still sports jet-black hair. “No one was killed, but there were some minor injuries. I remember some pretty nasty epithets being hurled at me, like ‘bloodsucker’ and “leech.’

“We were all just young and stupid then.”

When vampires and lycanthropes see movies like “Underworld” and “Twilight Saga: New Moon,” which also portrays the two groups as age-old enemies, it makes their blood boil.

“Hollywood makes it look as if we fight like cats and dogs,” fumes Vinowinski, a house inspector. “Nothing could be further from the truth.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth. All rights reserved

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world's greatest magician probe a paranormal  mystery in new thriller.

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.

More about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Harry Houdini in the Adventure of the Spook House.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.


Read Hour of the Beast.
The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

Check out The Blood of Titans.

Advertisements

HOW TO SCORE WITH A VAMPIRE: THE TOP 20 PICKUP LINES   Leave a comment

Landing a cool vampire boyfriend can be a snap, as Sookie Stackhouse does when she wins the heart of vampire Bill in HBO’s “True Blood.”

By C. Michael Forsyth

NEW ORLEANS — Vampires are incredibly sexy and romantic, as anyone knows who’s seen the movie “Twilight,” or the hit HBO series “True Blood.” And you can snag a hot bloodsucker as a boyfriend or girlfriend using one of 20 surefire pickup lines from a knowledgeable insider.

Vinnie Banicelli spent 11 years as a bouncer at a trendy vampire bar in New Orleans, and he made note of the one-liners that worked best with attractive nosferatu.

“To hook up with vampires, it’s important to have a repertoire of pickup lines, just as it would be with ordinary people,” explains Banicelli, author of the upcoming book, Vampire Chic: Inside the Hidden World of the Undead.

“Most vampires come from a time when wit and courtly manners were highly prized. They’re attracted to people who are suave and debonair. They’re very picky when it comes to mates, but if you can show you have confidence and class, you can definitely score with them.”

Here, from the expert, are the top 20 pickup lines:

FROM WOMEN TO MALE VAMPIRES:

1. Are those fangs or are you just happy to see me?

2. That’s a nice looking cape. It would look even nicer on the floor at the foot of my bed.

3. You have permission to enter me anytime.

4. Do you really remember Cleopatra? (Vampire: “Yes.”) I’ll make you forget her!

5. You sound English. I can show you a bloody good time.

6. Hey big boy, I bet you can stay up all night.

7. I can make your heart beat again.

8. Will you turn into a bat for me? (Vampire: “Sure.”) A long, hard one?

9. Is there room for two in your coffin?

10. Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?

 

Smoking van Helsing brides

Hot female vampires like these gals from the hit movie “Van Helsing” are not out of the reach of a regular Joe, if he has a good rap.

MEN TO FEMALE VAMPIRES:

1. Don’t worry, I won’t impale you…with a stake.

2. Baby, you’re so beautiful, I’d take 1,000 bites just to get one kiss from you.

3. Is it true what they say about lady vampires? That they really know how to suck?

4. You’re so beautiful, Van Helsing wouldn’t kill you.

5. You’re so sexy, you make me want to whip something out — and it’s not a crucifix.

6. Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.

7. Is that bloodlust I’m sensing — or just lust?

8. Is there anything human left in you? (Female vampire: “No.”) Would you like some?

9. If I said you have a beautiful corpse, would you hold it against me?

10. One hour with me and you’ll be seeing THREE reflections in a mirror.

Twilight_8

Sexually magnetic and highly romantic, vampires make great boyfriends, as illustrated in the hit “Twilight” movie series.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

SHARE YOUR BEST PICKUP LINE!

What’s your favorite pickup line for humans? Leave it in the Comments section.

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…

Houdini front only_edited-2

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest escape artist join forces to solve a baffling paranormal mystery.

 

More about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Harry Houdini in the Adventure of the Spook House.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

Read Hour of the Beast.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

Check out The Blood of Titans.

SEXIEST SCREEN VAMPIRE POLL   2 comments

By C. Michael Forsyth

Vampires make perfect boyfriends, as we all know from “True Blood” and “Twilight.” But which male screen bloodsucker is the sexiest of all time?

Take a gander at these candidates, then vote in the poll below.

Johnny Depp breathes new death into Dark Shadows as Barnabas Collins.


SPEAKING OF VAMPIRES…

*********************************************************************************************************

PRISONERS fight for survival against a bloodthirsty army of the undead in the graphic novel Night Cage.

PRISONERS fight for survival against a bloodthirsty army of the undead in the graphic novel Night Cage.

I’m excited to announce the launch of my first graphic novel, Night Cage! The premise of the horror story is simple: Vampires take over a women’s prison. Just imagine Orange is the New Black meets Salem’s Lot.

The project is being funded through Kickstarter. Folks who jump on the bandwagon will get a boatload of goodies and rewards, ranging from advance copies of the book and exclusive art, posters and T-shirts to a chance to be drawn into the graphic novel as a character!

Please check out the video out HERE, and share the news with all your social media friends!

PRISON life becomes even more hellish when a vampire epidemic erupts in a women's prison.

PRISON life becomes even more hellish when a vampire epidemic erupts in a women’s prison.

%d bloggers like this: