LOYALTY OATH: Saying the Pledge is already required in schools across America.
By C. Michael Forsyth
Good news for patriots! A new federal law will make it mandatory for every worker in America to recite the Pledge of Allegiance at the start of each work day.
The Defense of Liberty Act will require companies to allot two minutes every morning for workers in offices and on factory floors to salute a regulation-size flag and declare their loyalty to the United States. Furthermore, before any major event such as a company retreat, picnic or baseball game, the National Anthem must be played. Firms that fail to enact the policy face a stiff penalty of up to $3,500 per day.
The bill is still in committee, but lawmakers are confident that there will be enough votes for it to pass both the House and Senate, and that super-patriotic President Donald Trump will sign it into law.
“In the current environment, many Americans don’t feel comfortable exhibiting their love for this country. This law makes it safe to be a patriot again,” says conservative activist Newton Lartley, a strong advocate for the legislation. “When you hear all your coworkers saying the Pledge alongside you, just like in elementary school, you know that it’s OK to be proud of our flag.”
Not surprisingly, many ACLU types are up in arms, protesting that the act would violate the “rights” of citizens who aren’t all that patriotic. But supporters say that our number one priority should be encouraging devotion to America, the land of liberty.
Notes one Republican lawmaker, “It’s not asking a lot for Americans to, once a day, show their gratitude to this great land by confirming that we are indeed ‘one nation, under God, invisible.’”
FLAG-LOVING Donald Trump will go down in history as our most patriotic President, if allegations that he is a Russian agent are disproved.
If you enjoyed this news satire by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth
Horror News 