Famed Demon Hunter to Exorcise the Panties of Peril   2 comments

DESPITE their ordinary appearance, these panties are possessed by a force "beyond human comprehension," expert says.

DESPITE their ordinary appearance, these panties are possessed by a force “beyond human comprehension,” expert says.

By C. Michael Forsyth

BOSTON — The Panties of Peril, universally ranked the world’s most lethal paranormal object, have claimed the lives of eight women – and one man – who were foolish enough to put them on. All perished in bizarre freak accidents. But the dreaded drawers may have finally met their match. America’s toughest exorcist, the Reverend Jim Bookley, has vowed to rid the evil undies of the demonic entity that has possessed them.

“Either those panties are going down, or I’m going down,” declared the 54-year-old demon hunter.

The history of the Panties of Peril is well documented. But Rev. Bookley has an equally impressive track record. Among the many feathers in his cap, he cast out from a possessed German nun the infamous Legion, the only demon to go toe to toe with Jesus in the Holy Bible and live to tell the tale. After a fierce eight-day battle, he successfully exorcised a donkey that had run amok in Palermo, Italy. In 2011, the clergyman was voted Exorcist of the Year, after driving the demon Asmodeus from the body of 24-year-old Brooklyn meter maid Gina Spimacelli and sending him running off with his barbed tail between his legs.

And Rev. Bookley is coming to this new spiritual showdown loaded for bear. Included in his arsenal, along with usual implements such as holy water, Bibles and crucifixes, are:

• The Holy Collar of Antioch. Once placed on the neck of a possessed person, it renders the demon plaguing them powerless.
• The personal Bible of Pope John Paul II.
• The Chains of St. Augustine. Made of pure silver, they can supposedly bind any demon.
• The boxing gloves of Father McMurphy, once wielded by the famed Irish cleric and demon hunter.

“And it goes without saying I’ll be packing my sawed off shotgun,” he said, patting the trusty firearm.

CLERGYMEN turn to exorcism only as a last resort, as in this scene from the movie "The Last Exorcism."

CLERGYMEN turn to exorcism only as a last resort, as in this scene from the movie “The Last Exorcism.”

The Panties of Peril are currently in the possession of Boston millionaire Laurence Viskerbloom III, who purchased them last July at auction for a reported $650,000 from an unidentified dealer — although their legal ownership is in dispute. Experts say they were stolen in 2013 from the vault of the New Jersey Institute for Paranormal Research, where they were kept under lock and key in a titanium vault.

Authorities believe the culprit was transvestite performer Frank Yinsley, better known as Lady Charlize, who was later found dead in his apartment while wearing the panties. He’d succumbed to the bite of a rabid bat after chasing it with a broom, and breaking a chandelier, investigators determined. The panties vanished from a police evidence room two weeks later.

Viskerbloom purchased the panties for his wife Bethany, a devotee of the occult who believed they could endow her with rare magical powers. Instead, tragically, she was electrocuted when the candles she’d lit for a special ceremony caught her robes on fire. The panties, eerily, were untouched by the blaze.

“Those panties took my Bethany,” Viskerbloom told reporters. “Whatever it is that’s haunting them has to be destroyed.”

DON'T PANIC: The vast majority of panties are safe to wear, experts say.

DON’T PANIC: The vast majority of panties are safe to wear, experts say.

Researchers at the prestigious New Jersey Institute for Paranormal Research have tracked the innocuous-looking pink panties to a sweatshop outside Denpaser, Indonesia. They believe they are possessed by the vengeful spirit of a factory worker who was killed along with 90 others when the building collapsed.

“The worker was a practitioner of kulam, a sinister, voodoo-like form of black magic so dangerous it’s been outlawed by the Indonesian government,” revealed the Institute’s director Dr. Dan Greavesby.

His organization is suing for the return of the panties. And he’s appealing to Rev. Bookley to call off the exorcism, scheduled for next month.

“These are incredibly powerful forces at work here, almost beyond human comprehension,” the expert warns. “To take them on before we’ve had a chance to fully study them is foolhardy.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

This story was written by the author of the acclaimed horror novel Hour of the Beast. Check it out along with his other books HERE.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

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2 responses to “Famed Demon Hunter to Exorcise the Panties of Peril

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  1. Reblogged this on notoprahsbooks and commented:
    Had I realized that candles supplied electricity I could have saved hundreds typing up this blog. Read on and sinker.

  2. Pingback: Exorcist Rids Cursed Panties of Evil Spirit | Best and Worst of Horror

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