World’s Billionaires Vow to Topple the Elite.   Leave a comment

yacht

OWNING a pricey yacht like the $1 billion Streets of Monaco doesn’t make you one of the elite.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Following the lead of U.S. presidential candidate Donald Trump, dozens of billionaires from around the globe are banding together to battle the elite.

While not all the names are known, the crusaders are believed to include Amancio Ortega of Spain, worth $75 billion, Bernard Arnault of France, worth $34 billion and Wang Jianglin of China, worth $28.7 billion.

“We’ve been inspired by Mr. Trump. We need to defeat the scourge of elitism once and for all,” declared shipping magnate Damik Kapur of India, in an interview aboard his $600 million, 82-room yacht, which boasts three swimming pools, a heliport, a solid gold toilet and its own mini-sub. “The world’s economy is rigged. We know because we rigged it to benefit ourselves. That is why only we are in a position to fix it.”

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king-saudi-arabia

The King of Saudi Arabia and other mega-rich aristocrats have vowed to bring down the elite.

In addition to the business tycoons, members of several royal families, including those of England, Denmark, Bahrain and Swaziland, have jumped on the bandwagon. King Salman bin Abdul’aziz, absolute monarch of Saudi Arabia, has voiced his support for the movement.

“We are united in our commitment to topple the elite,” said a spokesman for the ruler. “We owe it to the commoners.”

The combined wealth of the mansion-owning moguls is roughly $2 trillion. But being rich and powerful has nothing to do with being part of the elite.

“The elite are those people in the media, academia and elsewhere whose views have been guiding the course of nations for far too long,” explained business writer Terence Hilcord, who interviewed Kapur for a New Zealand magazine. “Think of them as the snooty kids who always sat at the front of the class in school. A member of the true elite may be a newspaper reporter or a college professor who doesn’t own a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. What makes him part of the elite is that oh-so-superior attitude.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this satirical article, check out the author’s collection of news parody, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

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