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Werewolves Using Moon Ray Tanning Beds to Get All-Over Fur   Leave a comment

Embarrassed by uneven patches of fur, many female werewolves are now using “moon ray” tanning beds to achieve an all-over coat of hair. The high-tech gizmos simulate lunar rays and bombard the nude user from all sides, ensuring that hair sprouts evenly.

“Our clients are thrilled,” said Celeste Kiflinger, whose Spectral Salon is one of six specialty spas in Los Angeles area where the beds are available. “They feel much more confident romping at night with a full, lustrous coat.”

Typically, lycanthropes are exposed to the full moon when fully dressed, and exposed tissue on the face, neck and arms gets a higher dose. A bare midriff or skin below the knees when a woman is in a skirt may also receive more lunar rays, causing greater hair growth.

EVERY female werewolf longs to have lush, evenly distributed hair like North Korea's famed Wolf Girl, believed to suffer from hypertrichosis.

EVERY female werewolf longs to have lush, evenly distributed hair like North Korea’s famed Wolf Girl, believed to suffer from hypertrichosis.

“It’s like watering some parts of a lawn more than others; the grass of course grows higher in those spots,” explained Kiflinger. “When the werewolf’s clothes finally rip away, you get that ‘crazy fur’ look, with wild overgrowth on one part of the body and bare patches on another. Males typically aren’t that bothered by it, but our mostly female clientele find it embarrassing.”

Technically, a moon ray is simply a beam of sunlight that has bounced off the moon. How its properties are altered by that reflection — which takes just microseconds — is a mystery science has not yet solved.

“We are only now discovering the many ways that the moon affects life on Earth,” noted an expert. “For centuries astronomers have known that its gravitational pull is responsible for tides and we’re all familiar with those studies that show criminal behavior increases during the full moon. How precisely it triggers lycanthropic transmutation remains a riddle.”

HIGH TECH moon ray beds resemble ordinary tanning beds.

HIGH TECH moon ray beds resemble ordinary tanning beds.

The tanning beds are modified versions of those used by ordinary folks across the nation in salons and in their homes. A 30-minute session typically runs around $88.

“I am so satisfied with the treatments,” said Kelly R., a 35-year-old office worker who asked that her last name be kept confidential. “Before, loping through the park at night, I tended to stay in the shadows because my fur was so unsightly and I was ashamed of my appearance. Now I feel a lot better about myself when it’s ‘that time of the month.’”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

SPEAKING OF WEREWOLVES …

The author of this article also penned the highly acclaimed horror novel "Hour of the Beast."

The author of this article also penned the highly acclaimed horror novel Hour of the Beast.

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North Korean Madman Kim Jong Un Keeps Naked “Wolf Girl” in Sick Human Zoo!   Leave a comment

Wolf Girl Better

HEARTBREAKING: Suffering from rare birth defect, the Wolf Girl is confined to a dark and dismal cell.

By C. Michael Forsyth

PYONGYANG, North Korea — Demented, diminutive dictator Kim Jong Un has threatened to launch a nuclear attack on the U.S. and embroil Southeast Asia in war, killing millions of innocent people. But even more sickening, the twisted tyrant has beefed up his dad’s notorious human menagerie — where as many as 150 pitiful freaks are now being held prisoner.

Kept in filthy cages and treated like animals, the “exhibits” are said to include a 17-year-old “Wolf Girl” covered head to toe in fur. The young woman, who has no name, lives in a squalid 6’ X 4’ cell, where she sleeps on a bed of straw, eats slop with her hands and defecates in a bucket. Never taught to speak, the tragic creature communicates only in animal-like grunts and howls.

“She’s Kim’s favorite exhibit,” revealed Katsumi Yamashima, spokesperson for the Tokyo-based Pan-Asia Foundation for Human Rights. “He loves to go down into his ‘zoo’ beneath the palace and taunt her with a walking stick — then squeal with laughter when she snarls at him. It is outrageous that any person would be treated this way. It’s an affront to human dignity.”

 

The REAL monster: Heartless Kim Jong Un delights in tormenting freaks of nature.

The REAL monster: Heartless Kim Jong Un delights in tormenting his collection of freaks.

 

A photograph purported to be that of the Wolf Girl was snapped by a former professional athlete who visited the palace and smuggled the shocking picture out of the country. International watchdog groups believe the hirsute teen was snatched away from her parents as an infant by the dictator’s dad Kim Jong Il’s Gestapo-like secret police.

“Any human oddity that attracts the interest of Kim Jong Un, like his father before him, is whisked away to a cell in The People’s Hall of Curiosities,” explained Ms. Yamashima. “That’s what the menagerie is called — although only the North Korean leader, his henchmen and a handful of curious foreign dignitaries are permitted inside.”

FILTHY cages like this house countless human oddities in North Korean madman’s private “zoo.”

L’il Kim, as the squeaky-voiced, pudgy strongman has been dubbed by wags in the U.S. media, inherited the human zoo from his father and has rapidly increased its numbers from a few dozen to scores. The unwilling residents reportedly include a three-headed boy, a Snake Man, a “mermaid,” and a Human Rhinoceros.

“The poor wretches are held in deplorable conditions, maltreated and malnourished,” blasted the human-rights activist. “Just as you might expect in a country where starving peasants have resorted to eating their dead. This is one of the worst — and most under-reported — human-rights outrages in the world.”

The Wolf Girl likely suffers from a rare genetic abnormality known as congenital universal hypertrichosis, experts say.

“It’s associated with a defect on chromosome Xq24-q27 and affects fewer than one in 1 in 340 million people,” explained British geneticist Dr. Christopher Jerbins. “Only a handful of cases have been reported since it was first observed in the Middle Ages. The best known instance is an extended family in Mexico, several of whose members are circus performers.”

What makes the Wolf Girl so unique — and Kim Jong Un’s most prized possession — is that she also suffers from an unrelated condition that is almost as rare: an atavistic human tail.

“Every human embryo goes through a stage in which it develops a short tail,” Dr. Jerbins revealed. “At around eight weeks, white blood cells normally dissolve the tissue. When that doesn’t happen, the baby is born with a tail. There are about 100 cases of a true tail in the medical record.”

AMAZING TAIL: Some babies are born with tails that can wag like dog's.

AMAZING TAIL: Some babies are born with tails that can wag like dog’s.

Congenital universal hypertrichosis is sometimes accompanied by deafness and language impairments.

“The young woman’s intelligence is probably normal,” noted the expert. “But raised from birth like an animal, she could be expected to behave like one.”

Officials of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea dismiss the photo of the Wolf Girl as a “laughably crude fake” created as propaganda by enemies of the communist regime.

The government acknowledges that people with birth defects are patients at an underground “hospital” on the palace grounds. But a spokesman denounced claims that the prisoners are abused.

ROGUE STATE: North Korea is a charter member of the Axis of Evil.

ROGUE STATE: North Korea is a charter member of the Axis of Evil.

“Most of these unfortunate individuals were shunned in their communities, where they were reviled as ‘nature’s mistakes,’” declared Hyang Soon Kangjon, Deputy Minister of Information. “Many were mocked, stoned or cast out. That our Beloved Leader would provide a safe haven for them demonstrates his great compassion. In a nation that has, through no fault of its leaders, suffered from widespread famine, you can be sure that these patients are grateful to have food and shelter.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you found this article entertaining, check out C. Michael Forsyth’s collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formatsBizarre News Cover 5.

If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world's greatest magician probe a paranormal  mystery in new thriller.

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.

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The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

Read Hour of the Beast.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

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