Archive for the ‘werewolf’ Tag

North Korean Madman Kim Jong Un Keeps Naked “Wolf Girl” in Sick Human Zoo!   Leave a comment

Wolf Girl Better

HEARTBREAKING: Suffering from rare birth defect, the Wolf Girl is confined to a dark and dismal cell.

By C. Michael Forsyth

PYONGYANG, North Korea — Demented, diminutive dictator Kim Jong Un has threatened to launch a nuclear attack on the U.S. and embroil Southeast Asia in war, killing millions of innocent people. But even more sickening, the twisted tyrant has beefed up his dad’s notorious human menagerie — where as many as 150 pitiful freaks are now being held prisoner.

Kept in filthy cages and treated like animals, the “exhibits” are said to include a 17-year-old “Wolf Girl” covered head to toe in fur. The young woman, who has no name, lives in a squalid 6’ X 4’ cell, where she sleeps on a bed of straw, eats slop with her hands and defecates in a bucket. Never taught to speak, the tragic creature communicates only in animal-like grunts and howls.

“She’s Kim’s favorite exhibit,” revealed Katsumi Yamashima, spokesperson for the Tokyo-based Pan-Asia Foundation for Human Rights. “He loves to go down into his ‘zoo’ beneath the palace and taunt her with a walking stick — then squeal with laughter when she snarls at him. It is outrageous that any person would be treated this way. It’s an affront to human dignity.”

 

The REAL monster: Heartless Kim Jong Un delights in tormenting freaks of nature.

The REAL monster: Heartless Kim Jong Un delights in tormenting his collection of freaks.

 

A photograph purported to be that of the Wolf Girl was snapped by a former professional athlete who visited the palace and smuggled the shocking picture out of the country. International watchdog groups believe the hirsute teen was snatched away from her parents as an infant by the dictator’s dad Kim Jong Il’s Gestapo-like secret police.

“Any human oddity that attracts the interest of Kim Jong Un, like his father before him, is whisked away to a cell in The People’s Hall of Curiosities,” explained Ms. Yamashima. “That’s what the menagerie is called — although only the North Korean leader, his henchmen and a handful of curious foreign dignitaries are permitted inside.”

FILTHY cages like this house countless human oddities in North Korean madman’s private “zoo.”

L’il Kim, as the squeaky-voiced, pudgy strongman has been dubbed by wags in the U.S. media, inherited the human zoo from his father and has rapidly increased its numbers from a few dozen to scores. The unwilling residents reportedly include a three-headed boy, a Snake Man, a “mermaid,” and a Human Rhinoceros.

“The poor wretches are held in deplorable conditions, maltreated and malnourished,” blasted the human-rights activist. “Just as you might expect in a country where starving peasants have resorted to eating their dead. This is one of the worst — and most under-reported — human-rights outrages in the world.”

The Wolf Girl likely suffers from a rare genetic abnormality known as congenital universal hypertrichosis, experts say.

“It’s associated with a defect on chromosome Xq24-q27 and affects fewer than one in 1 in 340 million people,” explained British geneticist Dr. Christopher Jerbins. “Only a handful of cases have been reported since it was first observed in the Middle Ages. The best known instance is an extended family in Mexico, several of whose members are circus performers.”

What makes the Wolf Girl so unique — and Kim Jong Un’s most prized possession — is that she also suffers from an unrelated condition that is almost as rare: an atavistic human tail.

“Every human embryo goes through a stage in which it develops a short tail,” Dr. Jerbins revealed. “At around eight weeks, white blood cells normally dissolve the tissue. When that doesn’t happen, the baby is born with a tail. There are about 100 cases of a true tail in the medical record.”

AMAZING TAIL: Some babies are born with tails that can wag like dog's.

AMAZING TAIL: Some babies are born with tails that can wag like dog’s.

Congenital universal hypertrichosis is sometimes accompanied by deafness and language impairments.

“The young woman’s intelligence is probably normal,” noted the expert. “But raised from birth like an animal, she could be expected to behave like one.”

Officials of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea dismiss the photo of the Wolf Girl as a “laughably crude fake” created as propaganda by enemies of the communist regime.

The government acknowledges that people with birth defects are patients at an underground “hospital” on the palace grounds. But a spokesman denounced claims that the prisoners are abused.

ROGUE STATE: North Korea is a charter member of the Axis of Evil.

ROGUE STATE: North Korea is a charter member of the Axis of Evil.

“Most of these unfortunate individuals were shunned in their communities, where they were reviled as ‘nature’s mistakes,’” declared Hyang Soon Kangjon, Deputy Minister of Information. “Many were mocked, stoned or cast out. That our Beloved Leader would provide a safe haven for them demonstrates his great compassion. In a nation that has, through no fault of its leaders, suffered from widespread famine, you can be sure that these patients are grateful to have food and shelter.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you found this article entertaining, check out C. Michael Forsyth’s collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formatsBizarre News Cover 5.

If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world's greatest magician probe a paranormal  mystery in new thriller.

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.

More about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Harry Houdini in the Adventure of the Spook House.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

Read Hour of the Beast.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

Check out The Blood of Titans.

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LOGICAL EXPLANATION FOUND FOR BIGFOOT: THEY’RE WEREWOLVES, Expert says   Leave a comment

Like Bigfoot, werewolves are huge, hairy and stand upright, as this costume illustrates.

Like Bigfoot, werewolves are huge, hairy and stand upright, as this costume illustrates.

MISTAKEN IDENTITY? Could the Bigfoot in this famous photo really be merely a werewolf?

MISTAKEN IDENTITY? Could the Bigfoot in this famous photo really be merely a werewolf?

By C. Michael Forsyth

SPOKANE, Wa. — A researcher has at long last found a logical explanation for Bigfoot sightings: The hairy creatures are simply tall werewolves!

“In the darkness and confusion that usually accompanies such sightings, campers seeing a seven-foot beast covered head to toe in fur don’t realize they’re simply looking at a basketball player suffering from lycanthropy,” says veterinarian Dr. Andrew K. Luskheimer. “It’s a case of mistaken identity.

“I’ve always believed that one day science would find a rational explanation for the Bigfoot phenomenon. I’m quite tickled to have been the one to find it.”

The expert reached his startling conclusion after studying casts of footprints left behind at Bigfoot sightings throughout the Pacific Northwest with a cast of the paw print of the famous Werewolf of Abbotsham, which plagued the moors of England in the 1900s.

“The prints are virtually identical,” he points out. “There is no doubt that these two types of hirsute, nocturnal, bipedal humanoids are one and the same. This of course explains why whenever park rangers follow up Bigfoot sightings by the light of day, the creatures are nowhere to be found.”

Intriguingly, a tuft of Bigfoot hair recovered by scientists from a campsite in Yellowstone National Park in 1985 was later found to be canine.

“At the time, Bigfoot hunters were disappointed, when in fact they’d stumbled onto the answer to the riddle,” says the expert.

FOOTPRINT left behind by the notorious Werewolf of Abbotsham was preserved in this plaster cast.

FOOTPRINT left behind by the notorious Werewolf of Abbotsham was preserved in this plaster cast.

CAST of Bigfoot print found near Roseburg Ore.

CAST of Bigfoot print found near Roseburg Ore.

Virtually every authentic Bigfoot sighting has taken place during the full moon, the scientist notes. Others – such as the infamous Patterson-Gimlin film taken in 1967 – have been either exposed as fakes or are strongly suspected of being fakes.

Stories of hairy beast-men date back to the Native Americans of the northwest. The Halkomelem Indians called the mysterious creatures sasq’et, later anglicized as “Sasquash.”

“It should be noted that shape-shifting has been part of Native American culture for centuries,” said Dr. Luskheimer.

But it’s possible not all werewolves are indigenous. In 1847, reports surfaced that Indians living near Mount St. Helens believed that a race of cannibalistic “wild men” lived near its peak.

“Interestingly enough, about 90 years earlier in the 1750s, a French Canadian named Jean-Baptiste Dubonne, who had been condemned to hang for murders committed ‘while in the form of a wolf,’ escaped and fled to the area,” says Dr. Luskheimer. “Dubonne, a hulking mountain man who stood close to seven feet, likely fathered children who inherited the infection, spawning this pack of lycanthropes.”

The expert cited another fascinating case that throws light on the mystery. In 1934, a posse of armed men in Colville, Washington searched the hills following a Bigfoot sighting. One sheriff’s deputy shot at the Bigfoot and claimed to have hit it in the shoulder before it vanished.

“If you look at a newspaper photo of the posse taken the next day, you’ll see in the background a very tall rancher who appears to be well over seven feet – wearing his arm in a sling,” reveals Dr. Luskheimer. “Knowing what we do now, we can make an educated guess that this was in fact their elusive ‘Bigfoot.’ ”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world's greatest magician probe a paranormal  mystery in new thriller.

The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.

More about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Harry Houdini in the Adventure of the Spook House.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.

In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.


Read Hour of the Beast.
The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

The Blood of Titans is a story of love and adventure set in the golden age of Africa.

Check out The Blood of Titans.

The Magnificent Seven Vs. Wolf Man in “Werewolf: The Beast Among Us.”   Leave a comment

Werewolf hunters for hire pursue their most dangerous quarry ever — a man-beast who attacks even when the moon isn’t full.

By C. Michael Forsyth

My friend Sean, a horror aficionado with an encyclopedic knowledge of the genre, recommended “Werewolf: the Beast Among Us,” and he didn’t steer me wrong. I really enjoyed this fun, twisty B movie.

Shot in Romania with excellent production values, it’s in some ways a throwback to the old Hammer films. No automatic weapons, no sweet and glittery monsters. Some might call this anachronistic, but I dug the old-fashioned good-versus-evil battle.

The movie, set in the 1800s, features a band of werewolf hunters for hire that comes to the rescue of a town plagued by a lycanthrope. Alarmingly, the creature strikes even when the moon isn’t full! They’re aided by a young man desperate to save his village from the unstoppable beast, which has slain dozens. It’s “The Magnificent Seven” with werewolves – a high concept I just love.

The team is led by Charles (Ed Quinn), a taciturn American gunslinger, and each of the mercenaries has different quirks and specialties. My favorite is the sexy girl bounty hunter Kazia who wields a crossbow and wears a bite-proof corset. There’s also the suave, unflappable Englishman Stephan, who sports a vest full of throwing knives. Steven Bauer (Al Pacino’s right-hand man in “Scarface” and almost unrecognizable here) is aboard as the grizzled, beer-swilling Hyde.

Action and gore abound and there’s a mystery too. Which villager is the beast? Could it be the youth himself? His mother, who always appears to be missing when the attacks occur? His girlfriend? Her reclusive, wealthy father?

Day to day life in a town besieged by a werewolf is depicted with entertaining realism. In one memorable scene, the beleaguered town doctor (Stephen Rea from “The Crying Game”) is deluged by victims – and mercifully puts down a bitten farmer to spare him from the curse.

TAKE NO PRISONERS: Werewolf stomper Kazia (Ana Ularu) is deadly with a crossbow.

SPOILER ALERT – SPOILER ALERT – SPOILER ALERT

The identity of the werewolf isn’t too hard to figure out – the culprit practically has “lycanthrope” stamped on his forehead. But there are some clever red herrings, including the suspicious town constable who turns out merely to have epilepsy. (It might have been prudent for him to warn fellow villagers, “I foam at the mouth from time to time, so please don’t shoot me.”)

Although it’s the most surprising twist, I didn’t really like the revelation that Stephan is a vampire – I preferred him as a cocky dandy. I mean, when Charles recruited a vampire didn’t it occur to him that the guy might TURN OUT TO BE EVIL???

Likewise, the ending in which Charles takes on the werewolf as Stephan’s replacement seems a bit dubious. Having a monster on board didn’t really work out all that well. And wouldn’t the new recruit be a little reticent about killing other werewolves?

Speaking of our hairy pals, the author of this review also penned the highly acclaimed horror novel “Hour of the Beast.” Hour of the Beast is available in hardcover and softcover at Amazon.com. But you can save $4 by clicking HERE! The Kindle version is just $7 and the Ebook is a measly $5. Be the first on your block to read this bone-chilling tale — before the movie comes out.

Prince William Leads Fight to Ban Werewolf Hunting   2 comments

MEDIEVAL tapestry shows noblemen in hot pursuit of a werewolf.

By C. Michael Forsyth

LONDON — Britain’s big-hearted Prince William is spearheading a campaign to ban the controversial English sport of werewolf hunting once and for all!

Delighted animal-rights activists are hailing the royal for following in the footsteps of his mother, Princess Di, known as “The People’s Princess.”

“Princess Diana devoted herself to humanitarian causes such as the eradication of land mines,” notes Kimba Ellington-Hyde, of the London-based Animal Protection League. “Prince William, in leading the charge against the inhumane practice of werewolf-hunting, shows that he has inherited her concern for the less fortunate.”

HUMANITARIAN: Prince William is under fire from fellow aristocrats for his brave stand.

But aristocrats whose families have taken part in the festive weekend hunting jaunts for generations are up in arms, denouncing the handsome blueblood as a traitor to his class.

“If the Prince lacks the fortitude to join in the hunts, and prefers to stay at home tending to his tulip garden, that is all well and good,” says a prominent baron, who requested anonymity. “But to try to put an end to a sport that generations of English gentlemen have enjoyed, and in which countless young men have proved their mettle, is outrageous. First bear-baiting, then fox hunting. What fine old English tradition will these meddling do-gooders try to take away next? Cricket or afternoon tea?”

Werewolf hunts have been documented in England and France since the Middle Ages. Indeed, in feudal times it was considered part of a nobleman’s duty to put down any werewolf stalking his lands.

“It was an essential element of noblesse oblige, meaning a local lord’s obligation to his vassals,” reveals historian Colin Helfwich. “There are tapestries dating back to the 13th century that show mounted knights chasing down werewolves with the aid of hunting dogs and slaying them with silver lances.”

MONSTER SLAYER: King Henry VIII led many werewolf hunts.

King Henry VIII was a prodigious hunter and was never seen without his trademark werewolf pelt vest or a strip of the creatures’ fur hanging from his belt beside his codpiece. The hunts were so successful that by 1760, werewolves were virtually extinct in the British Isles, along with ordinary wolves that were caught in the crossfire.

“After werewolves were eliminated as a threat to the common good, hunting them became more of a sport,” Helfwich explains. “Lords and ladies would gather at a country estate when word reached them that a werewolf was afoot in the vicinity. They enjoyed a lavish outdoor buffet, sipped champagne, and then took off on horseback to the hearty cry of ‘tally ho!’ With hounds following the scent, they’d pursue the creature across the moors and countryside, until it was cornered in the brush and dispatched.”

The Royal Family remained avid supporters of the hunts until recently. A famous 1935 photograph shows King Edward VII holding aloft a werewolf head after a hunt. He presented the grisly trophy to his houseguest Wallis Simpson, the divorcee for whom he would abdicate the throne a short time later. Close chums and relatives of royals routinely joined them on hunts. Legendary war hero Lord Mountbatten is said to have carried the stump of a werewolf tail in his pocket for years as a lucky charm.

“Perhaps the key chain really worked because he survived many of the bloodiest naval battles of World War II by the skin of his teeth,” notes the historian. “The first time he went to sea without the charm, in 1979, his yacht was blown to smithereens by the IRA.”

TALLY HO! Aristocrats set off on a “fun” werewolf hunt.

Prince Phillip and Queen Elizabeth are known to have participated in at least six hunts. But in a 1980 interview nature-lover Prince Charles publicly expressed concern that the hunts violated human rights, since “after all, the poor devils are human, if you follow me.”

Animal-rights activists have been battling to outlaw the practice for decades, forcing aristocrats to conduct them out of the public eye, with little fanfare and no press coverage permitted.

“Although hunters are armed with rifles loaded with silver bullets, it is tradition that silver pikes be used to kill the surrounded werewolf,” explains animal-rights crusader Ellington-Hyde.

“I assure you, any American who saw a terrified, helpless werewolf being slowly butchered this way would be repulsed and appalled.”

PRE-HUNT BRUNCH: Werewolf hunts are festive all-weekend get-togethers for upper crust. Brits.

Evidently, sons William and Harry picked up their father’s aversion to the sport. While frequently pictured in the press playing polo and rugby, neither has ever been photographed in werewolf-hunting attire.

Shortly after returning from his honeymoon, Prince William’s first order of business was to state in a letter to Prime Minister David Cameron that he supports “an immediate and comprehensive ban on the hunting of lycanthropes.”

The ban would impose hefty 130,000 pound fine on anyone who shoots a werewolf except in self defense.The measure is moving through Parliament and could come up for a vote as early as next month. If passed, England would be only the second U.N. country where the killing of a monster is outlawed. Shooting a zombie in the head has been a violation of Haitian law since 1988.

Opponents vow to fight the law tooth and nail.

“Perhaps when Great Britain is once again overrun by packs of bloodthirsty werewolves ravaging the countryside, the wisdom of our forefathers in holding these hunts will at last be understood,” declared the baron.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

Speaking of werewolves…

C. Michael Forsyth’s new horror novel Hour of the Beast is “the best summer read ever,” one Amazon reviewer declares.

To check out HOUR OF THE BEAST, click HERE.

WEREWOLF OBEDIENCE SCHOOLS ALL THE RAGE IN SWITZERLAND   Leave a comment

A firm voice and an understanding of animal psychology are key to training a werewolf.

By C. Michael Forsyth

ZURICH — Is your werewolf’s constant misbehavior driving you crazy? Stop pulling your hair out and enroll your wolfman in one of four obedience schools that have cropped up in Switzerland.

At institutions like the Lycanthrope Academy outside Zurich, ill-mannered man-beasts are trained to become docile and obedient.

“Werewolves come here tearing up furniture, chasing postmen and sullenly ignoring commands,” states Juergan Lichtenwalter, director of the school. “They leave here helpful companions that will obey orders instantly and even delight their masters’ guests with a variety of tricks.”

Werewolves are common household pets in Switzerland, Germany and France, and function in a broad range of service roles as well. Some serve as guard dogs, rescue animals, sheep herders, drug sniffers and of course companions to the blind.

When well trained, the loyal and intelligent creatures can be wonderful in all those roles, outshining even German shepherds. But unruly, poorly trained and disobedient werewolves can be a nightmare.

“Before we brought King to the obedience school, he was always leaving poop around the house and no amount of swats on the behind with rolled up newspaper would stop him,” reveals Annalise Landenber, 42. “He wouldn’t quit humping my leg. And once, when I tried to take our milkman’s femur away from him, he snapped at me.

“King wouldn’t even answer to his own name. But after six weeks at the school, he’s like a whole new wolfman. If you say ‘Come,’ he comes. ‘Roll over’ or ‘Beg’ and he rolls over and begs.”

The exclusive Lycanthrope Academy, which opened its doors three years ago, accepts only pedigreed werewolves, while its three imitators train mixed breeds as well.

The owners of the academy refuse to divulge their training methods, calling them a “trade secret.” But the director disputes accusations on an animal rights blog that cattle prods and silver canes are used to cow the creatures into submission.

“Our approach draws upon the latest research in both animal and human psychology,” explains Licthenwalter. “Once you understand that a werewolf has two sides – the canine side that is pack-oriented, intuitive and uninhibited and the human side, which is intelligent and rational — it’s mostly a matter of communicating with them in a gentle but firm manner.

“You have to show them that you love them, but also who’s the boss.”

Ms. Landenber, an administrative assistant and mother of four, couldn’t be happier.

“I’m seriously thinking about entering him in the big contest in Geneva this fall,” she reveals. “I think he could win Best in Show.”

A good candidate for obedience school.

On the Hour of the Beast front, the book launch party for my new horror novel was a smashing success!  A good time was had by readers who packed Fiction Addiction in Greenville, SC. You can get the scoop on this bone-chilling werewolf story by clicking HERE.

My book launch party at Fiction Addiction drew readers from all walks of life, from sewing teacher Eileen Bunch to contractor Sam Lewis.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth
If you enjoyed this article, check out C. Michael Forsyth’s collection of news satire, available on Kindle and in other eBook formatsBizarre News Cover 5.

“Red Riding Hood” Gives Us Another Reason to Stay Out of the Woods.   2 comments

Amanda Seyfried as Red Riding Hood takes an ill-advised stroll in the woods.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Red Riding Hood is exactly what it should be: a grownup retelling of one of our most memorable fairytales, with a horror spin. It has interpersonal conflict, a complex storyline, romance — but it also stays true to the elements that made the tale so compelling to us as children. There is the underlying theme of sexual awakening, the symbolism of the red cape, the opposition of good and evil. Even the talking wolf, the walk through the woods to grandmother’s house and the line, “What big eyes you have,” are worked in.

The high production values — sumptuous period costumes and sets — completely immerse us in a medieval world, and yet the swooping, swerving camera lends the film modern-day immediacy — as well as a perpetual feeling of unease.

In its creation of an olden-days town surrounded by menace, the atmospheric film is reminiscent of M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Village.” But here, the story is NOT torpedoed by awful plot turns.

Red Riding Hood is Valerie (Amanda Seyfried), a pretty young woman in love with a poor woodcutter. Her parents disapprove of him and the lovebirds are about to run off together when the body of her sister is discovered, killed by a werewolf. The village men vow to track down the beast and they quickly do — they think.

Then arrives Reverend Solomon, a werewolf-hunter extraordinaire who is a mixture of Cotton Mather and Robert E. Howard’s witch-hunting Puritan man of action, Solomon Kane. Rev. Solomon (Gary Oldman) warns the townsfolk that the creature they’ve just killed is an ordinary wolf, and that the real werewolf does not dwell in a mountain cave, as they believe — but is instead one of them. A paranoiac “Who Goes There?” type nightmare ensues, as Valerie struggles to figure out which of those around her is the murderous monster — while avoiding a horrible fate as its prime target.

Is the Big Bad Wolf her dark, brooding, black-clad boyfriend? The strangely feral village idiot? The handsome young blacksmith who seems so gentle and fearful? Or even her own extremely creepy grandmother (played with magnificently, and gleefully, by Julie Christie)?

To make matters worse, the town’s “savior” Rev. Solomon emerges as an Ahab-like lunatic who doesn’t care who he has to imprison, torture, put to the sword or use as human bait to take down the lycanthrope.

The mystery angle in this kind of story is always hard to pull off. After all, the screenwriter has to come up with a solution today’s savvy movie audience wouldn’t easily guess and yet at the same time, makes perfect sense. The very satisfying ending of this film fulfills both goals.

I appreciate the filmmaker’s choice to eschew blood and guts for genuine suspense and chills. I’m not one of those horror geeks who gets off on seeing people’s bodies being destroyed in steadily more sickening and bloody ways. (Apologies if that’s you — don’t mean to alienate half my readers.) However, I think director Catherine Hardwicke went a bit too far in keeping gore out of the picture. When the first couple of corpses are discovered, they are so bloodless and undamaged that it looks like footage from a dress rehearsal. I mean, they’re supposed to have been killed by a wolf —  pardon me, a giant, rampaging werewolf — and it was hard to believe they were even in a bar fight!

My other minor quibble is that the villagers initially ignore Rev. Solomon’s warning that the werewolf is one of them — and instead hold a big victory party celebrating the slaying of the wolf . This provides the movie-makers with a great opportunity to show a chaotic and unnerving medieval festival, complete with weird masks and Bacchanalian dancing. But come on. First of all, shouldn’t it be OBVIOUS that the human who turns into a wolf lives in the isolated village? And don’t these ignorant peasants respect the opinion of this famed champion werewolf-hunter? In most period movies — and, I believe, actual history too — medieval folk have a low threshold for turning on their neighbors and accusing them of supernatural evil.

After writing this review, I checked Rotten Tomatoes and I was surprised that critics gave it a ranking of only 11 percent. Well, I’m sticking to my guns. You’ll have fun watching this movie, as did most audience members, who gave it a ranking six times higher.

Curiously enough, a few hours after I saw “Red Riding Hood,” I watched on DVD “The Brothers Grimm,” which also incorporateselements of  fairytales. Not as effective a film, with its anything-can-happen approach to the supernatural. But it certainly made for an interesting double bill. Kind of like last weekend when I saw “Con Air” and “The Expendables” back to back — and my testosterone level shot through the roof!

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

"Who, me a wolf?" In classic fairytale, Little Red Riding Hood is a bit slow to realize her "grandmother" is not what she seems.

Like to be scared? Read C. Michael Forsyth's Hour of the Beast.

By C. Michael Forsyth

To hear Chapter One of the acclaimed Hour of the Beast FREE click HERE.

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