Archive for the ‘illegal aliens’ Tag

18 Fun Activities For Muslims Hiding in Your Attic!   1 comment

twister

Classic party games can help a presidential term pass quickly.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Are you converting your attic into a hiding place for Muslims, illegal aliens or other “undesirables”? Don’t worry about them being bored stiff. There are dozens of fun activities that can keep your secret houseguests from going stir crazy for four years, eight years or even longer!

“This isn’t 1939. There’s no reason no reason why a stay in your safe house needs to be a depressing experience,” says Carla Ann Fubner, a cruise ship activities director. “A cheerful décor with bright lighting and colors, comfortable furniture, plus plenty of mentally stimulating activities can make this a relaxing, memorable break from the hustle and bustle of work and school for the folks you harbor. Once you’ve worked with your decorator to create a pleasant environment, set about stocking the hideout with loads of games, puzzles and other items.”

Here are 18 suggestions from Fubner and other experts:

  1. Board games. Supplement classics like Risk, Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit with more recent games such as Scythe and Quadropolis – and the longer it takes to win, the better.
  2. Karaoke CDs. “Make sure you have a wide variety,” says Hubner. ‘Hearing ‘I’ve Got You, Babe’ sung off-key every day for four years would drive anyone insane.”
  3. Arts and crafts. Adult coloring books, ceramics, wood-carving tools and paint-by-the-number sets are a must. Include “how to” manuals for tricky crafts such as glass-blowing.
  4. Juggling balls. Within a few years, even a fairly clumsy person can master the skill.
  5. Party games. Download the rules for a variety of games, ranging from Charades to Sardines and Two Truths and a Lie.
  6. Books and movies, especially comedies such as light-hearted Kevin Hart films.
  7. Exercise equipment, such as a Stairmaster, jump rope, Pilates bands and free weights.

    exercise-640x480

    A rudimentary exercise area can easily be set up in a basement or attic hideout.

  8. Language CDs. “Learning a different foreign language each year is a very fulfilling way to kill time,” Fubner notes.
  9. Costumes, props and scripts for family plays. Also rules for improv games like those seen on TV’s “Who’s Line is it Anyway?”
  10. Science kits. Children can learn about basic chemistry and physics while having fun.
  11. Small pets such as gerbils and goldfish.
  12. Jigsaw puzzles – ideally, 1,000 pieces or more.
  13. Ventriloquist dummies and puppets.

    ventriloquism

    Picking up a new skill such as ventriloquism can keep a person sane.

  14. Scrapbooking materials. “Make sure your guests bring along lots of family photos and memorabilia such as theater tickets and award certificates,” Fubner advises.
  15. A PlayStation, Wii and computer games for PC. Games that require going on the Internet are a no-no, because players can be traced.
  16. Newspaper and magazine subscriptions.
  17. Interpretive dance. Your visitors can express their emotions while building flexibility.
  18. Magic kits. Says Fubner, “Who knows, after eight years ducking the authorities, your guest may emerge from the hideaway as the next David Copperfield!”

    anne-frank

    We’ve come a long way since the days of Anne Frank, when fugitives had to rely on diaries to keep them busy.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this article, check out C. Michael Forsyth’s collection of news satire, available on Kindle and in other eBook formatsBizarre News Cover 5.

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NEW LAW WILL BAN HISPANICS FROM NAMING BABIES JESUS   1 comment

CHRIST'S name is sacred to members of Christian faith.

By C. Michael Forsyth

PHOENIX, Arizona — Hispanic groups are crying foul over a proposed state law that would ban illegal aliens from naming their children Jesus.

“To give our Lord’s name to a baby who could grow up to be a gang member or drug dealer is not just offensive, it’s a form of sacrilege,” says Arthur L. Martinsweld of the American Heritage Research Council, which has endorsed the law. “It’s a slap in the face to Christians.”

Organizations like the Latino-Hispanic Coalition charge that the bill, which could come up for a vote as early as May, is “racist.”

“Jesus is one of the most popular boy names among Hispanics,” claims Julieta Padilla-Munez. “This would be like banning black people from using the last name Washington.”

Proponents of the landmark legislation insist that it’s about religious freedom, not prejudice.

“We shouldn’t let political correctness cloud this debate,” notes Martinsweld. “Despite what liberal secularists like President Obama may tell you, this country was founded on the principle of religious liberty and Judeo-Christian values.

“To force a Christian schoolteacher to address a child as Jesus every day is a violation of her rights.”

MANY Mexican immigrants name their children Jesus.

The law, which is swiftly gathering support in a state known for strong anti-illegal-alien sentiment, will apply only to undocumented aliens and would be retroactive only to 2008. Angry Hispanics vow to take the battle all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, but recent rulings suggest that illegals have limited constitutional rights.

KIDS like this should be allowed to have any name their parents choose, activists argue.

Immigration lawyer Tom Rockferry has suggested a compromise, which would permit the use of the name if the letter H is substituted for J, forming Hesus.

“Everyone on both sides has to step back and take a deep breath,” he suggests. “The truth is Jesus is only the 47th most popular Latino baby name. Even if this law passes as is, it won’t make a huge change.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

C. Michael Forsyth, the author of this article, has written a critically acclaimed horror novel. The Horror Fiction Review raves that Hour of the Beast is a "rip-snorting, action-packed sexy college romp."

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