Archive for the ‘UFO’ Tag

How to Tell if You are Being Taken Up in The Rapture or Abducted by a UFO   Leave a comment

 

tHE RAPTURE

ACCORDING to the Bible, in the End Times, a small number of faithful Christians will be beamed up bodily to Heaven.

By C. Michael Forsyth

A tingling sensation runs through your body, a bright beam of light envelops you, and you feel yourself being pulled from the Earth into the sky. You are elated because you’re being taken up in The Rapture … or are you being abducted by a UFO?

It can be maddeningly difficult to distinguish the two experiences — yet it’s critical that you know how, says a top expert.

“You need to know whether to prepare yourself to meet God face to face, or brace yourself for an alien probe,” points out Christian paranormal investigator Herbert W. Leningale.

Here, from the researcher, are eight ways to tell if you’re being beamed up to Heaven or to a flying saucer:

1) MUSIC — Being swept up in the Rapture is likely to be accompanied by angelic music, as the Lord’s heavenly harpists greet the newcomers. In contrast, alien abductees have reported hearing five distinct musical notes, similar to those in the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

2) ABILITY TO MOVE – If you feel yourself paralyzed, unable to move however much you struggle, and unable to even scream, chances are you are experiencing an alien abduction. If you are able to happily wave goodbye down to neighbors who’ve been left behind, it’s more likely you are Heaven-bound.

3) COMPLETE NUDITY – Are you in your birthday suit? Experts agree that folks lucky enough to be picked for the Rapture will leave their clothes behind, and will arrive in Heaven naked as the day they were born. Alien abductees remain fully dressed, at least until the E.T.’s commence their scientific exams.

4) NUMBER OF LIGHTS – Squint up into the light you’re traveling toward. Can you make out eight or more separate lights in a circular pattern? Those are probably the landing lights of a flying saucer. Rapture light will be a single, powerful beam.

5) FELLOW TRAVELERS – Glance around to see whether other people are rising in bright beams. It’s expected that 144,000 true believers will be bodily drawn up to Heaven. So unless you live in a town full of sinners and atheists, you’ll have some company on the trip. If you’re flying solo, odds are this is an abduction experience.

6) LOUD NOISES – Listen for the sounds of car crashes in the distance. When the Rapture occurs, the Select will abruptly vanish from their cars, leading to scores of fender benders. During a UFO abduction, you may instead hear military aircraft firing upon the unidentified craft.

7) TEMPERATURE – A pleasurable warmth akin to a hot bath should soothe you on the express route to Heaven. Most alien abductees describe the UFO tractor beam as so chilly they get goosebumps.

8) EMOTIONS – If you’re being taken up in The Rapture, you will be filled with a feeling of ecstasy and well-being. A sense of dread typically accompanies UFO abduction.

aLIEN ABDDUCTION 2

HUNDREDS of people worldwide claim to have been abducted by space aliens.

Copyright C Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending tale by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

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ALIEN BREAST IMPLANTS GROWING IN POPULARITY, INVESTIGATORS SAY   Leave a comment

“MY EYES ARE UP HERE, PITIFUL EARTHLING.” Breast augmentation is now commonplace among female space aliens, experts say.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Feeling inadequate compared to well-endowed Earth women, female extraterrestrials are turning to breast implants in increasing numbers, UFO investigators report. Scores of eyewitnesses who’ve had close encounters in the past two years report seeing lady space aliens sporting humongous headlights.

Abductee Ryan Hettles of West Virginia claims that the female E.T. who conducted experiments on him as he lay immobilized on a metal slab was at least a 38-DD.

“They were huge, but at the same time high and perky as a teenager’s, which is what made me suspect they might not be natural,” he told researchers. “And the thing was, she kept leaning over me as if she wanted me to get a real good look at them.

“Her skin was a grayish green and she had a big, bulging forehead. People asked me if she had black, almond-shaped eyes but to be honest, I don’t even remember seeing them. If I hadn’t been paralyzed, I think I would have been tempted to reach out and touch.”

Experts call such accounts a dramatic change from reports dating back to the 1950s that describe gray-type aliens as neuter, with no external genitalia or secondary sexual characteristics. “Mammary glands are either absent or appear to be merely vestigial,” according to a classified Air Force document leaked in 1996.

BEFORE: In years past, female aliens were virtually indistinguishable from males.

A leading UFO researcher believes E.T.s are opting for breast enlargement because decades of observing pop culture images of busty Earthlings have made them insecure and envious.

“Women undergoing cosmetic procedures to resemble those in a society they’ve come in contact with is actually a common phenomenon,” notes Dr. Harold F. Gluckenbaum. “We saw it in cases of Japanese women who had their eyes ‘fixed’ to look more American in the decades following the World War 2, or immigrants from the Middle East who undergo laser hair removal to get rid of their so-called unibrows.

BOMBARDED by images like this one of Star Trek’s Borg beauty Seven of Nine, many female visitors to our planet are now dissatisfied with their bodies.

 

 

“What is intriguing to me is that normally females from a less-powerful society imitate the dominant culture, not vice versa. You’d expect alien females from a vastly superior civilization to look down on Earth women, not seek to emulate them. It suggests that some aliens have been hanging around our planet so long, they’ve been brainwashed into accepting our standards of beauty.”

Dr. Gluckenbaum’s theory is borne out by the 2006 case of two Georgia fishermen whose pickup was intercepted on the road by a saucer-shaped craft.

“Three aliens with spindly bodies and long arms got out. The shortest one seemed to be the leader,” recalls Earl Furgam, now 48. “My cousin Bobby gave the small one a friendly wave and said, ‘We’ll take you to our leader if you like. We don’t want any trouble, sir.’

“Soon as the word ‘sir’ came out of his mouth, the alien looked real frustrated and stomped its foot. It pulled this gun out that looked like it came from Star Wars and fired a blue ray that incinerated Bobby on the spot.”

“Afterward I figured that most likely the leader was female. But how were we supposed to know that? She was flat as an ironing board.”

alien butt augmented_smaller

FEMALE E.T.s have also resorted to butt implants, this top secret Air Force photo suggests.

 

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

Bizarre News Cover 5.

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