Ban Vampire Conversion Therapy, Activists Demand   Leave a comment

RECKLESS? Devampirizing treatment shown in movie Near Dark is risky and unsanitary, critics charge

By C. Michael Forsyth

Activists are condemning a controversial form of conversion therapy that supposedly cures vampires!

Practitioners of the unorthodox technique—which involves total blood replacement via transfusion—claim that it has successfully restored dozens of bloodsuckers to normal. But critics charge that the practice is dangerous and they call the therapists little more than snake oil salesmen.

“These quacks are promoting a so-called cure that is scientifically unsound, ineffective and potentially lethal,” blasts Oliver Shursman, executive director of the American Blood Drinkers Association. 

“Many newly turned vampires are emotionally vulnerable, full of confusion and self-loathing. The last thing they need is some charlatan reinforcing the idea that there’s something ‘wrong’ with them and holding out false hope that they can be fixed.”

The trend is driven by Sanguivoriphobia, the irrational fear of and dislike for vampires, he says. “This is bigotry disguised as medicine.”

The therapy, which has not yet received FDA approval, is being carried out in at least six facilities located in Florida and Georgia. The units receive funding principally from evangelical churches and family values organizations. Four of the facilities operate under the banner Soul Restoration Centers and are owned by Dr. Budd Koarski of Tallahassee, FL, who is widely viewed as the father of the devampirizing movement.

Dr. Koarksi reveals he got the brainstorm eight years ago at a Halloween party after watching the movie Near Dark (1987) in which an old country veterinarian cures his son and the boy’s girlfriend of vampirism through transfusions.

“When I saw that scene, I was surprised because I’d never thought something so simple and obvious could work,” he explains. “It took some digging through obscure old books and articles on vampirism, but sure enough, I found that back in the Depression era, backwoods doctors in Louisiana used the technique to heal vampirism sufferers and return them to their families.”

Dr. Koarski claims that some 28 vampires have been successfully converted at his facilities alone since 2015.   

“These had been predators who were hopelessly stuck in the degrading vampire lifestyle, living like feral animals in squalid abandoned buildings and hunting at night,” he says. “Now they are healthy, productive members of society who walk around in daylight–and many even attend church regularly,” he says.

 “One man brought to us by family members had been living as a vampire since 1977. When he realized he had been liberated from this evil curse after so many decades, he wept tears of joy and hugged all the staff at the facility.”

OLD SCHOOL: Transfusions were used to combat vampirism outbreaks in the 1930s

However, critics say that the effects of introducing massive quantities of human blood to a vampire intravenously have not been adequately tested. And they point to a notorious 2011 incident in Mobile, Ala., where a vampire spontaneously combusted during a transfusion.

“Dr. Koarski is not a medical doctor or even a vet,” Shursman observes. “As I understand it, he has a Ph.D in music. He and his ilk have no business dispensing medical advice, let alone running medical facilities treating one of the most complex and little-understood conditions in the world.”

The  American Blood Drinkers Association and several other vampire-rights organizations are calling for Florida Governor DeSantis, Georgia Governor Brian Kemp and state lawmakers to pass a bill outlawing the vampire conversion therapy until studies prove the procedure is safe. Until that happens, Dr. Koarski plans to keep curing vampires at his centers and he has plans to soon expand into four additional states.

“Our goal is to cure 100 vampires by the end of this year and 250 the year after that,” he declares.

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this supernatural news satire by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new project…

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THRILLING NEW GRAPHIC NOVEL!

In the two-part graphic novel Night Cage, vampires overrun a women’s prison–and to escape, four surviving inmates must fight their way through an army of the undead. Picture ‘Salem’s Lot meets Orange is the New Black.

Vampires take over a women’s prison in the spooky, steamy graphic novel Night Cage, Volume 2

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