Archive for the ‘CIA’ Tag

Fun Contest: Design Logo For Trump’s Private Spy Agency!   Leave a comment

By C. Michael Forsyth

 

Do you have a knack for design? Then you may be in line for fame, glory and cold, hard cash! President Trump’s new personal spy agency is in urgent need of a logo, and if the White House selects your design, you’ll win a whopping $100!

News that the White House is weighing plans for a private spy agency that answers only to the President was recently revealed by investigative reporters for The Intercept. Organized with the aid of experts from the shadowy mercenary outfit Blackwater, the elite corps of secret agents will be funded by wealthy donors. It’s reportedly being put in place to circumvent the NSA, CIA and the 15 other current U.S. intelligence agencies that Trump is convinced are out to undermine him.

Trump’s spy agency doesn’t have a name yet, but one early suggestion, The Research Espionage And Secret Operations Network, has already been shot down.

“The acronym was not a good fit,” an insider said. “All that’s for certain right now is that the first letter will be T, and so that should figure prominently in the design of the logo.”

In our fun contest, readers of this blog are invited to submit a simple drawing of a design for the emblem. Email your submission to freedomshammerpr@aol. com. Because a name has not yet been settled on, you can use “Trump Intelligence Agency” for now.  We’ll select the five best designs, publish them on this site, then send them on to the White House. If the President and his team select your design, we’ll issue you a check for 100 bucks. You’ll also be able to brag to pals that your logo graces agency walls, stationary and rings. The deadline is January 1, so get cracking! To give you some inspiration, below are the emblems of some top intelligence agencies from around the world.

 

Spy Agency MMS better

China’s Ministry of State Security. They torture you and an hour later you need to be tortured again.

 

Spy Logo MI6_Logo

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service? Then you’re working for Britain’s famed MI-6

Spy CIA

Our own CIA was considered the good guys–until now.

Spy Logo France The General Directorate for External Security

Viva La France! The General Directorate for External Security

Spy agency Logo Mossad

Israel’s Mossad is one of the most effective spy outfits in the world.

Spy Agency logo SVRlogo

The SVR is Russia’s external spy agency.

Spy Agency ASIS-Australia

G’day mate, from The Australian Secret Intelligence Service.

Spy Logo Russian Federal Security Service

Vladimir Putin keeps track of his foes with the FSB, Russia’s internal security agency.

Spy Logo Nigeria Defence Intelligence Agency

Nigeria’s Defense Intelligence Agency keeps Africa safe.

BND

The BND is the toughest German intelligence agency since the Gestapo.

[Note: Void where prohibited. All participants must be over the age of 7. Employees of Freedom’s Hammer Productions, Forsyth Industries and the Monolithic International Conglomerate are not eligible. The decision of the judges is final, unless overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court.]

If you enjoyed this article by novelist C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of mind-bending stories, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.

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Tortures Being Renamed — To Sound Like Spa Treatments!   Leave a comment

"Colon Expansion," formerly known as The Judas Cradle, has been used by practitioners of enhanced interrogation techniques since the Middle Ages.

“Colon Expansion,” formerly known as The Judas Cradle, has been used by practitioners of enhanced interrogation techniques since the Middle Ages.

By C. Michael Forsyth

Chiefs of secret police forces worldwide are taking a page from Dick Cheney’s book and renaming torture techniques to sound like spa services — to ensure they can never be charged with war crimes.

Chinese Water Torture, for example, is now called Asian Aquatic Relaxation.

“According to the latest thinking in international law, if an interrogation technique sounds like a spa treatment, it’s not technically a war crime,” explained Hosni El-Shabiz, director of Syria’s Bureau of Information Extraction.

Cheney and CIA underlings dubbed enema torture “rectal hydration,” he noted.

Other name changes secret police forces have adopted:

* The Rack is now “Enhanced Spinal Decompression.”
* Bamboo shoots under the fingernails has been replaced by the more benign “Organic Subungual Therapy.”
* Cattle prod to the genitals is now known as “Intimate Area Stimulation.”
* The Iron Maiden has been switched to the friendlier “Deep Tissue Penetration.”

The names can be misleading to prisoners.

“Sometimes when you order a detainee to undress for a Dermal Abrasion session, they do it happily because they think it’s a soothing spa treatment,” El-Shabiz chuckled. “They’re usually quite taken aback when they discover that it means whipping with a cat o’ nine tails!”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you appreciated the black humor of this story, you might enjoy the irony in his latest thriller The Identity Thief.

The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.

The tables turn on an identity thief in fast-paced thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.

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