CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? Contrary to this scene in the hit movie “Underworld,” vampires and werewolves actually love each other.
By C. Michael Forsyth
CHIGAGO – Forget what you’ve seen in Hollywood horror flicks like “Underworld.” Vampires and werewolves get on famously — and the friendly relationship dates back many centuries, according to top experts in the field.
“Many of my closest pals are werewolves,” reveals Charles Vinowinski, a self-proclaimed Chicago vampire who says he’s 128 years old, but looks a spry 60. “We go bowling together, hang out and visit each other’s homes to play board games on Saturday nights.”
The chummy relationship between the two species is a far cry from the “Underworld” series, which depicts a war that’s been waged for eons.
“The vampire-werewolf alliance can be traced at least as far back as ancient Rome,” asserts folklorist Dr. Hans Reintenhauser of the Berlin Institute for the Study of Unusual Phenomenon.
“During the dark ages, vampires and werewolves were known to hunt together and operate in pairs. During the day, while in human form, the lycanthrope would protect the sleeping vampire from those who would do him or her harm.
“Because in those days both species were persecuted by ordinary people, they needed to work hand in hand for the sake of their own survival.” Such “odd couples” still exist in modern times, according to the expert, author of the upcoming book Friends Forever: The Untold Story of the Vampire-Werewolf Kinship.
“Yes there is sometimes rivalry between the two, which are so different in their temperaments; some good-natured ribbing and occasional bickering,” says Dr. Reintenhauser. “But it’s like something you’d see in a buddy movie like ‘Rush Hour’ or between The Rock and Ryan Reynolds in that new movie ‘Red Notice.’ Deep down, there is an abundance of love and respect.”
Since both vampires and werewolves are believed to be immortal – barring a run-in with the business end of a sharpened stake or silver bullet – “buddy” pairs develop an incredibly strong bond over the centuries.
“Imagine a comedy duo like Abbot and Costello, who’ve worked together so long they can anticipate each other’s every thought, can finish each others’ sentences and have impeccable timing,” explains the researcher. “Now imagine that kind of link strengthening over the course of a thousand or more years.”
Bud Abbott and Lou Costello played inseparable pals on screen
Wolfman Henry Yerbrough, 241, has such a close-knit bond with his longtime associate Jean-Claude Dujardane, whom he claims he met in a field hospital during the War of 1812.
“Jean-Claude and I are like brothers,” smiles Yerbrough, of Milwaukee. “He was the best man at my wedding and I’m the godfather of his three kids. When we travel, we share a hotel room and once a year we go fishing together in the mountains.
“A lot of people assume we’re gay, especially since I work in a hair salon,” he adds with a chuckle. “But trust me, I love women as much as the next guy.”
Brooklyn native Ed Neidorf Jr., who is comparatively young as vampires go, at age 78, says he can only remember a single violent encounter with werewolves.
“This was in the early 1950s and there was a ‘rumble’ between a couple of rival vampire and werewolf gangs,” recalls the plumbing contactor, who still sports jet-black hair. “No one was killed, but there were some minor injuries. I remember some pretty nasty epithets being hurled at me, like ‘bloodsucker’ and “leech.’
“We were all just young and stupid then.”
When vampires and lycanthropes see movies like “Underworld” and “Twilight Saga: New Moon,” which also portrays the two groups as age-old enemies, it makes their blood boil.
“Hollywood makes it look as if we fight like cats and dogs,” fumes Vinowinski, a house inspector. “Nothing could be further from the truth.”
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth. All rights reserved
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I hope you enjoyed this article. If you did, please take a moment to check out my latest project…
THRILLING NEW GRAPHIC NOVEL!
In the two-part graphic novel NIGHT CAGE, vampires overrun a women’s prison–and to escape, four surviving inmates must fight their way through an army of the undead. Picture ‘Salem’s Lot meets Orange is the New Black.
CLAUSTROPHIC TERROR GETS THE MAX
If you got a chuckle out of this mind-bending article by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new graphic novel Night Cage, about vampires running amok in a women’s prison.
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
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If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
CONTROVERSIAL HeartGuardian guarantees wearers a safe day’s sleep.
By C. Michael Forsyth
SAN ANTONIO — A leading manufacturer of tactical body armor has come under fire for introducing the world’s first stake-proof vest!
The lightweight, 1-1/2 inch-thick HeartGuardian, which fits comfortably under a cape, is designed to protect the wearer from an 18-inch oak stake pounded into the chest with 150 newtons of force, according to a press release from LiveSafe Industries.
“The work of a vampire slayer is hazardous enough already,” blasts Hans Gutlienberg of the International Association of Vampire Hunters. “To deliberately make these fiends invulnerable is beyond irresponsible. This is corporate greed at its worst.”
In centuries past, blood-drinkers have used bulky metal armor, chain mail and other protective gear to try to ward off would-be Van Helsings, with limited success. But HeartGuardian boasts state-of-the-art technology that makes the garment far more effective. The vest is made of multiple layers of para-aramid fibers interwoven with ultra-high-molecular weight polyethylene. A ceramic plate reinforced with titanium lies directly over the heart, impenetrable even to an arrow fired by a high-powered crossbow.
The manufacturer insists the product is not necessarily for use by vampires.
“Anyone could be killed by a sharpened stake through the heart,” a LiveSave spokesman pointed out.
But the company’s own publicity materials leave little doubt about the target market. An ad in a popular vampire lifestyle magazine, Nyte Creatures, says “Now you can really rest in peace.”
UNPROTECTED vampire in the movie “Horror of Dracula” could have used new stake-proof vest.
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth ——————————————————————————————————————————————————
THRILLING NEW GRAPHIC NOVEL!
If you found this supernatural news satire by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you’ll love his graphic novel NIGHT CAGE, in which vampires take over a women’s prison. Think ‘Salem’s Lot meets Orange is the New Black.
If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
Landing a cool vampire boyfriend can be a snap, as Sookie Stackhouse does when she wins the heart of vampire Bill in HBO’s “True Blood.”
By C. Michael Forsyth
NEW ORLEANS — Vampires are incredibly sexy and romantic, as anyone knows who’s seen the movie “Twilight,” or the hit HBO series “True Blood.” And you can snag a hot bloodsucker as a boyfriend or girlfriend using one of 20 surefire pickup lines from a knowledgeable insider.
Vinnie Banicelli spent 11 years as a bouncer at a trendy vampire bar in New Orleans, and he made note of the one-liners that worked best with attractive nosferatu.
“To hook up with vampires, it’s important to have a repertoire of pickup lines, just as it would be with ordinary people,” explains Banicelli, author of the upcoming book, Vampire Chic: Inside the Hidden World of the Undead.
“Most vampires come from a time when wit and courtly manners were highly prized. They’re attracted to people who are suave and debonair. They’re very picky when it comes to mates, but if you can show you have confidence and class, you can definitely score with them.”
Here, from the expert, are the top 20 pickup lines:
FROM WOMEN TO MALE VAMPIRES:
1. Are those fangs or are you just happy to see me?
2. That’s a nice looking cape. It would look even nicer on the floor at the foot of my bed.
3. You have permission to enter me anytime.
4. Do you really remember Cleopatra? (Vampire: “Yes.”) I’ll make you forget her!
5. You sound English. I can show you a bloody good time.
6. Hey big boy, I bet you can stay up all night.
7. I can make your heart beat again.
8. Will you turn into a bat for me? (Vampire: “Sure.”) A long, hard one?
9. Is there room for two in your coffin?
10. Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Hot female vampires like these gals from the hit movie “Van Helsing” are not out of the reach of a regular Joe, if he has a good rap.
MEN TO FEMALE VAMPIRES:
1. Don’t worry, I won’t impale you…with a stake.
2. Baby, you’re so beautiful, I’d take 1,000 bites just to get one kiss from you.
3. Is it true what they say about lady vampires? That they really know how to suck?
4. You’re so beautiful, Van Helsing wouldn’t kill you.
5. You’re so sexy, you make me want to whip something out — and it’s not a crucifix.
6. Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
7. Is that bloodlust I’m sensing — or just lust?
8. Is there anything human left in you? (Female vampire: “No.”) Would you like some?
9. If I said you have a beautiful corpse, would you hold it against me?
10. One hour with me and you’ll be seeing THREE reflections in a mirror.
Sexually magnetic and highly romantic, vampires make great boyfriends, as illustrated in the hit “Twilight” movie series.
If you were intrigued and entertained by this mind-bending tale by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his graphic novel about vampires running amok in a women’s prison, Night Cage, Volume 2.
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CLAUSTROPHIC TERROR GETS THE MAX
If you got a chuckle out of this article by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new graphic novel Night Cage, about vampires running amok in a women’s prison.
SHARE YOUR BEST PICKUP LINE!
What’s your favorite pickup line for humans? Leave it in the Comments section.
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
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If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest escape artist join forces to solve a baffling paranormal mystery.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
BRASOV, Romania – In a brazen midnight raid, scores of vampires overran the Pleasant Valley Naturist Resort and feasted on the blood of the helpless, naked residents!
According to European wire services, the savage, well-coordinated attack left 14 people dead and dozens more in critical condition.
“Eight of us were soaking in the hot tub, when these vicious, hissing creatures came crashing through the window,” shaken survivor Andrei Grigorescu, 52, was quoted as saying. “They dragged the other bathers out kicking and screaming and sank their fangs into them. I was spared only because I weigh 340 pounds and was a bit too heavy for them to lift.”
Massage therapist Madalina Albescu, 23, required an emergency transfusion of 8 pints of blood, as well as treatment for 11 bite wounds on her neck, legs, breasts and buttocks.
“It was absolutely horrifying,” she said. “Two of them chased me across the volleyball court and tackled me like a pair of linebackers. They sucked my blood until I passed out. The doctors told me I was drained nearly dry.”
The nudist colony, in operation since 1973, sits at the foothills of the Faragas Mountains. Authorities had long suspected that the gloomy hill country harbored a nest of vampires and had even posted warning signs to that effect along the winding roads. But until the terrifying blitz, few at the resort paid any heed to the words of caution. Now police say it is likely that vampire scouts conducted surveillance missions in the weeks preceding the raid.
“My wife and some of the other ladies reported that sometimes they sensed that they were being watched, but we just attributed it to lads from the local high school,” revealed Claudiu Dumitrescu, the 61-year-old director of the bottom-baring establishment.
Despite the horrific nature of the tragedy, some residents of the conservative, deeply religious community near the resort show surprisingly little sympathy for the victims. They claim that the nudists’ freewheeling “hedonistic” lifestyle and lack of commonsense safety gear such as crucifixes and high collars made them easy targets for the bloodsuckers.
“Perhaps now they will confine their shameful display of their naked bodies to nude beaches – where there is plenty of sunlight,” said one elderly villager, who asked that her name not be used.
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth. All rights reserved.
——————————————————————————————————————–
If you enjoyed this mind-bending supernatural news satire by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new project…
——————————————————————————————————————–
THRILLING NEW GRAPHIC NOVEL!
In the graphic novel NIGHT CAGE, vampires overrun a women’s prison–and to escape, four surviving inmates must fight their way through an army of the undead. Picture ‘Salem’s Lot meets Orange is the New Black.
Vampires take over a women’s prison in the spooky, steamy graphic novel Night Cage, Volume 2
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
.
If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
Bram Stoker wrote the grandpa of all vampire books.
Bram Stoker’s kinsman reclaims the famous character in this gripping sequel.
By C. Michael Forsyth
The story of Dracula ends with the blood-drinking fiend destroyed and newlyweds Jonathan and Mina Harker living happily ever after.
Or does it? In the bookDracula the Un-Dead, an exciting sequel to Bram Stoker’s classic written by the author’s great-grandnephew Dacre Stoker, the tale of terror continues to unfold.
I had the good fortune to run into Dacre at the Horror Writer’s Association’s Bram Stoker Weekend, an annual gathering that pays tribute to his famous forebear. A courtly resident of South Carolina, he was quite generous with his time. After his presentation on Bram, we chatted about the extensive research that went into the novel. We traded books, and I’ve finally had a chance to sink my teeth into this juicy vampire yarn.
The book is set in 1912, about 25 years after the events in Dracula, and the band of heroes who put the vampire down are in a sorry state.
Jonathan Harker, once a paragon of Victorian virtue, has been reduced to a whoring, alcoholic wretch. He’s tortured by his inability to sexually satisfy his wife the way that her superhuman “dark prince” could.
Mina, forever tainted by her sip of Dracula’s blood, remains eternally young like Dorian Gray. Guilt-ridden, she counts her youthful appearance as a curse, not a blessing.
Dr. Van Helsing, the wise and fearless vampire killer, is now a frail, vulnerable old man terrified of death.
Dr. Seward, once the esteemed head of the asylum that housed Dracula’s bug-eating flunky Renfield, is himself a drug-addicted lunatic.
Aristocratic Arthur Holmwood, who was forced to stake his fiancée Lucy, is a bitter recluse who blames his former friends for her fate and is driven by a death wish.
IN HAPPIER TIMES: Jonathan Harker, played by Keanu Reeves in “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” finds that middle age is “totally bogus.”
New characters are introduced, most prominently Elizabeth Bathory, a real-life relative of Vlad the Impaler, the historical Dracula. The 16th Century noblewoman was the most prolific serial killer in history, making dudes like Jack the Ripper and Ted Bundy look like pikers. The Bloody Countess tortured and killed at least 650 servant girls, bathing in their blood in a quest for immortality. Here, she too is a vampire – and a far more vicious one than the gentlemanly Count Dracula.
BLOODY COUNTESS: Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered at least 650 young maidens — for their blood.
Also taking the stage is Basarab, a handsome and charismatic actor who is Bathory’s hated foe.
Details from the original are cleverly woven into the novel and supporting characters like Renfield and Seward are fleshed out with interesting backstories. Arthur Holmwood, usually little more than an uptight prig in movies, is a fully realized character who’s led a colorful life of adventure. Even Quincy Morris, the Texan who almost never makes the cut in film versions, is given his due.
Usually just an upper-crust square (as played here by Cary Elwes) Lucy’s fiance Arthur emerges as a swashbuckling hero.
Dacre and his co-author Ian Holt, in addition to having access to family lore, dug deep into original sources to find nuggets that enrich the sequel. Dacre traveled to the Rosenbach Museum to comb through Bram Stoker’s notes. Among the fascinating tidbits he uncovered was the character sketch for a detective Bram toyed with including in Dracula but ultimately abandoned. Dacre resurrects Inspector Cotford in the sequel.
Equally painstaking research into early 20th Century London is evident in the authoritative descriptions of locations such as the Lyceum Theater that bring the setting vividly to life. Real people of the time show up, including boozing stage legend John Barrymore — and, surprisingly, Bram Stoker himself!
TOO WISE TO LIVE? Dr. Van Helsing (Everett Sloane) had the will power to resist Dracula in the 1931 Bela Lugosi movie.
Yet despite the loving attention to detail, Dracula the Un-Dead is not slavishly true to the original in that it inverts Dracula’s nature, reimagining him as a Byronic hero rather than a monster. In a sense, the book is not a sequel to Dracula as Bram Stoker told the story so much as a sequel to the story as DRACULA would have told it. (It made me think of the kids’ book My Side of the Story, in which Sleeping Beauty is retold from the witch Maleficent’s perspective.)
MR. NICE GUY? Dracula (portrayed by Gary Oldman in “Bram Stoker’s Dracula”) saw himself as a romantic hero misunderstood by medding male mortals.
In turning the Victorian worldview upside down Dracula the Un-Dead is likely quite different from the sequel Bram Stoker would have written. But who cares? Do we really need another follow-up to Dracula that carries forward the plot on its trajectory in an easily anticipated way? We’ve already seen movies and comics in which Mina’s son Quincy Harker is an elderly hero waging a crusade against the undead.
Here instead Quincy is a naïve young aspiring actor who puts his dreams of stage success above all else and fawns over his idol Basarab. (Quincy is so clueless he makes Jimmy Olsen look like Albert Einstein). That’s only the first of many surprises the book offers. Co-author Holt is a screenwriter and the fast-paced, action-packed novel is perfectly suited for a movie adaptation.
IN PAST follow-ups in comic books and movies, Quincy Harker is often a gutsy old vampire slayer.
I asked Dacre whether the Stoker clan was still living off “all the Dracula money.” He gave a wistful smile and said no. Sadly, he explained, the family lost the U.S. copyright to Dracula through a clerical error early on and it’s been in the public domain ever since. They haven’t been paid a dime by Hollywood since the 1931 Bela Lugosi movie and unlike the kin of Tarzan creator Edgar Rice Burroughs, have had no control over the wildy popular character and his many — often embarrassingly stupid — incarnations. One of Dacre’s goals was to reclaim Dracula for his family.
“I think Bram would be proud that a family member has taken this initiative and finally done justice to the legacy he created,” he writes in the afterward.
IN THE BLOOD: Dacre Stoker, great-grandnephew of Bram Stoker with C. Michael Forsyth, author of Hour of the Beast, at the Horror Writers Association convention.
If you found this article by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
LUCKY TO BE ALIVE: Captives of vampire cult were called “blood cows.”
AUTHORITIES in Belgium have smashed a vampire ring and rescued six “blood cows” from an underground dungeon outside Brussels, according to published reports.
The female captives, aged 19 to 23, had been regularly drained of blood over a period of at least seven months, say police who found them pale, listless and chained to cots.
Cops, acting on a tip, raided the estate of wealthy businessman Robbe Driessen on April 21, and were stunned to find the victims in a secret room in the basement.
“They were naked except for tattered underwear,” Deputy Inspector Matthias Klerkse was quoted as saying a European wire service report. “Their bodies were covered with multiple sets of tiny punctures, especially on their wrists, thighs, throats and bosoms. They were all white as sheets and their skin was cold to the touch.”
The sprawling, 60-room mansion was the meeting place for a secret society called the Brahmin Club, authorities say. Although involved in charitable activities and patronage of the arts, its wealthy members appear to have been chiefly interested in drinking human blood. Members reputedly believe that doing so would keep them eternally young. And in at least once case, this seems to have been at least partially correct. When arrested, Driessen gave his age as 108, while in his mug shots he looks no older than 40.
“At the time he was taken into custody, Mr. Driessen produced a birth certificate that seems to support this claim of advanced age, but we of course assume it was doctored,” the lawman said. “We hope to establish his actual date of birth, but right now other matters have a higher priority in our investigation.”
The women, whose names have not been released, are all Russian and were lured to Belgium by promises of decent work as maids, au pairs, and prostitutes, police say. Instead, as soon as they arrived, they were imprisoned and subjected to daily “feeding” sessions. Chillingly, they told authorities, their captors referred to them as “blood cows.”
Driessen is CEO of the country’s largest manufacturer of waffle irons. He, along with 12 other members of the secret society, faces a battery of charges including human trafficking, false imprisonment and assault. But the blood-slurping fat cat’s attorney insists his client is being railroaded.
“The club – which has been inaccurately described as a ‘coven’ and sensationalized in the press – is a religious organization and its members are being persecuted for their unpopular beliefs,” the lawyer said at a press conference. He went on to claim that the young women were “essentially groupies” of the self-proclaimed vampires and willingly donated their blood. “When all the facts come out, the public will see that these so-called ‘victims’ were well-treated guests of Mr. Dreissen.”
If you enjoyed this mind-bending tale by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new graphic novel Night Cage, about vampires running amok in a women’s prison.
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
.
If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
C. Michael Forsyth is the author of "Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Harry Houdini in The Adventure of the Spook House,""The Blood of Titans," "Hour of the Beast" and "The Identity Thief." He is a Yale graduate and former senior writer for The Weekly World News
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