KEY WEST – A Florida man who fearlessly fired his rifle into Hurricane Irma is being hailed as a hero, after shooting down a pair of great white sharks that were spiraling toward a mom and her toddlers.
Edward “Slim” Wilderghast, 61, a lifelong NRA member and avid hunter, hit one of the enormous sea creatures in the heart and nailed the second directly between the eyes, authorities confirm.
Neighbor Kelly Burenwick, whose mobile home had been reduced to splinters by the storm, recalls sheltering her 3-year-old twin girls with her body as the terrifying predators tumbled toward them through the air, mouths agape.
“The sharks were coming straight for us. I thought we were goners for sure,” said Ms. Burenwick, 29. “I told Rose and Abigail, ‘Close your eyes, girls.’ Then out of nowhere I heard gunshots. I looked up and there on his roof was our neighbor Mr. Wilderghast with his rifle. We owe him our lives.”
Hurricane Irma was one of the strongest storms in recorded history. Newspapers reported sightings of seagulls, squids, tuna, sharks and other creatures being swept up by the Category 5 hurricane as it raked across the Caribbean and bore down on the Florida peninsula.
A short time before Irma struck Florida, two men posted a Facebook event page encouraging Americans to shoot at the hurricane as a gesture of defiance, to “prove to Irma that we shoot first.” As many as 80,000 gun enthusiasts expressed interest in participating. That led the Sheriff’s Office to issue a stern warning: “DO NOT shoot weapons at Irma. You won’t make it turn around and it will have very dangerous side effects.”
SIGHTINGS of sharks and other fish blown aloft by Irma were widespread.
“I didn’t hear about the police telling folks not to shoot,” Wilderghast explained. “If I had, I would never have loaded Bessie and gone up on my roof. I just thought it was the patriotic thing to do.”
Wilderghast, a former rodeo trick-shooter, made the incredible shots with his Remington 700 AAC at about 300 yards, having a matter of seconds to account for factors such as wind speed and air currents. Killing the second shark was more difficult, because his line of sight was blocked by an airborne doghouse.
“I had to wait for just the right moment and shoot so the bullet ricocheted off a wok that was flying around and hit the shark in the brain,” he said.
FEMA official Larry Utell calls the incident highly unusual.
“I’ve seen some pretty fancy shooting in my day, but that takes the cake,” he marveled. “There are probably fewer than six men in the world who could have made that shot.”
Remarkably, Wilderghast isn’t the only gunslinger who used good old-fashioned American firepower to save lives during the hurricane. A Texas man on vacation in the British Virgin Islands used his six-shooter to kill three electric eels that were flung ashore by the massive storm.
DON’T try this at home: Shooting at a hurricane is highly risky, experts say.
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth
If you enjoyed this whimsical yarn by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
Landing a cool vampire boyfriend can be a snap, as Sookie Stackhouse does when she wins the heart of vampire Bill in HBO’s “True Blood.”
By C. Michael Forsyth
NEW ORLEANS — Vampires are incredibly sexy and romantic, as anyone knows who’s seen the movie “Twilight,” or the hit HBO series “True Blood.” And you can snag a hot bloodsucker as a boyfriend or girlfriend using one of 20 surefire pickup lines from a knowledgeable insider.
Vinnie Banicelli spent 11 years as a bouncer at a trendy vampire bar in New Orleans, and he made note of the one-liners that worked best with attractive nosferatu.
“To hook up with vampires, it’s important to have a repertoire of pickup lines, just as it would be with ordinary people,” explains Banicelli, author of the upcoming book, Vampire Chic: Inside the Hidden World of the Undead.
“Most vampires come from a time when wit and courtly manners were highly prized. They’re attracted to people who are suave and debonair. They’re very picky when it comes to mates, but if you can show you have confidence and class, you can definitely score with them.”
Here, from the expert, are the top 20 pickup lines:
FROM WOMEN TO MALE VAMPIRES:
1. Are those fangs or are you just happy to see me?
2. That’s a nice looking cape. It would look even nicer on the floor at the foot of my bed.
3. You have permission to enter me anytime.
4. Do you really remember Cleopatra? (Vampire: “Yes.”) I’ll make you forget her!
5. You sound English. I can show you a bloody good time.
6. Hey big boy, I bet you can stay up all night.
7. I can make your heart beat again.
8. Will you turn into a bat for me? (Vampire: “Sure.”) A long, hard one?
9. Is there room for two in your coffin?
10. Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Hot female vampires like these gals from the hit movie “Van Helsing” are not out of the reach of a regular Joe, if he has a good rap.
MEN TO FEMALE VAMPIRES:
1. Don’t worry, I won’t impale you…with a stake.
2. Baby, you’re so beautiful, I’d take 1,000 bites just to get one kiss from you.
3. Is it true what they say about lady vampires? That they really know how to suck?
4. You’re so beautiful, Van Helsing wouldn’t kill you.
5. You’re so sexy, you make me want to whip something out — and it’s not a crucifix.
6. Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
7. Is that bloodlust I’m sensing — or just lust?
8. Is there anything human left in you? (Female vampire: “No.”) Would you like some?
9. If I said you have a beautiful corpse, would you hold it against me?
10. One hour with me and you’ll be seeing THREE reflections in a mirror.
Sexually magnetic and highly romantic, vampires make great boyfriends, as illustrated in the hit “Twilight” movie series.
If you were intrigued and entertained by this mind-bending tale by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his graphic novel about vampires running amok in a women’s prison, Night Cage, Volume 2.
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CLAUSTROPHIC TERROR GETS THE MAX
If you got a chuckle out of this article by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new graphic novel Night Cage, about vampires running amok in a women’s prison.
SHARE YOUR BEST PICKUP LINE!
What’s your favorite pickup line for humans? Leave it in the Comments section.
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
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If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest escape artist join forces to solve a baffling paranormal mystery.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
WEALTHY folks in China are willing to go under the knife for a unique appearance.
By C. Michael Forsyth
BEIJING — In rapidly increasing numbers, members of China’s upper class are undergoing plastic surgery to look different from the rest of their countrymen, experts say.
“The new status symbol in China right now is no longer a big American automobile or designer clothes. It’s having a unique face,” confirms Bradford Kinglem, a highly respected professor of Far Eastern Studies.
Although still communist on paper, modern China is an economic powerhouse in which savvy investors can become as rich as any American. Indeed, the disparity in income between the rich and poor is greater than in any other country outside of sub-Sahara Africa, according to researchers.
OLD DAYS: In years past, individualism was not prized in China.
“The days of thousands of people riding on bicycles through the streets of Beijing wearing identical drab uniforms and identical punchbowl haircuts are long over,” says Kinglem. “People want to express their individuality.”
According to health officials, the number of people undergoing cosmetic surgery specifically to “no longer look the same as everyone else” was 34,150 in 2012 – 10 times as many as in the previous year. And if current trends continue, the Asian nation will soon outpace the U.S. in folks going under the knife, a report from the International Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery indicates.
FAT CAT Li Chin-Hiang shelled out big bucks for this distinctive face.
The well-to-do in China have sought out plastic surgery in small numbers for over a decade, but in the past the goal was different.
“A wealthy industrialist would alter his face to look like a popular movie star like Jackie Chan, or his wife might get the Joan Chen. Now successful people don’t want to look like anyone.”
Some officials in the Communist Party of China, which rules the country, disapprove of the show of individuality, preferring the cookie-cutter look of the past.
Grumbled one older party member, “This is not what Red China is supposed to be about. Chairman Mao must be rolling in his grave.”
The familiar mug of beloved star Jackie Chan was a popular look in the past.
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth
Speaking of unique, the author of this story penned Hour of the Beast, hailed by Horror Fiction Review as “a fast-paced, rip-snorting, action-packed, sexy college romp.” The book is available in hardcover and softcover at Amazon.com. But you can save $4 by clicking HERE! The Kindle version is just $7 and the eBbook is a measly $5. Be the first on your block to read this bone-chilling tale — before the movie comes out.
KUNDIAWA, Papua New Guinea — The Ngadi tribe has not yet invented the wheel, live in crude dwellings in treetops and call airplanes “sky birds” — yet they communicate almost entirely in sophisticated sarcastic banter!
British anthropologist Bernard Hodgequist made the astounding discovery when he encountered the rarely visited people outside their remote jungle village in the highlands.
“I was surrounded by eight warriors who pointed their spears at me in a menacing manner,” he recounted in the February edition of the New Journal of Exploration. “I’d heard stories that they practiced cannibalism and was fearful for my life. In the language of a neighboring tribe who live 250 miles away, I said, ‘Are you going to eat me?’ The leader of the group replied, ‘No, we’re not going to eat you. We’re going to worship you as a god.’
“Surprised, I said, ‘Really?’ The warrior said, ‘Oh yes, we’re going to build a temple for you 100 feet high and we will supply you with 20 virgins. Is that not true, men?’
“Another warrior shook his head and said, ‘No, that’s not true. We can only provide you with 15 virgins and five girls who are not very experienced. Would that be good enough, O Great White One?’ He seemed to be sneering.”
The anthropologist was roughly escorted to the primitive village where, to his relief, the chief spared his life. As they sat around the fire, he was served a bowl of ground grubs for supper.
“I took a whiff of it and asked the chief politely if they had anything else,” Hodgequist recalled. “He told me, ‘Yes, we have some smoked salmon in the back. Would you like some?’ ”
“I realized he was having a bit of fun with me and it’s then that it dawned on me that I’d stumbled onto something quite extraordinary.”
THICK jungle of Papua New Guinea’s highlands is home to many primitive tribes.
Linguists who’ve since analyzed more than 1,000 hours of recordings of the Ngadi talking with each other have confirmed that at least 75 percent of what they say is sarcastic. The trait is evident even in non-verbal speech; the sarcastic clap is their most common hand gesture.
“It’s extraordinary. In virtually every other way, their civilization is at the Stone Age level, but their sense of irony is extraordinarily developed,” notes Dr. Anne Kipling-Westcott of the London Institute for Linguistics and Translation. “The reply to a question such as, ‘Should we build a fire’ might be ‘No, I think we should wait here for lightning to strike.’ ”
The expert calls the peculiar adaptation analogous to the ancient Macedonian dialect in which every question was answered with a question (known as reflexive interrogative speech).
VANISHED: Did explorer Phillip Stanley teach sarcasm to the Ngadi before winding up as dinner?
How the Ngadi developed their unique form of communication remains a mystery. The British explorer Phillip Stanley – grandnephew of the famous African explorer – vanished in the region in the early 1930s, and one researcher speculates that he introduced to the tribe the brand of biting wit for which he was well known. But there is no evidence the adventurer ever crossed the Ramu River into Ngadi territory.
Hodgequist says his two-month stay among the sardonic tribesmen often felt surreal.
“One would be sitting on a rock helping to dip arrowheads in poison and a pair of women in loincloths with baskets on their heads would sashay by, making snarky comments about their peers like American teenagers at a mall,” he writes in the article.
“The chief had the most devastating wit of them all. It was as if you were with a half-naked Oscar Wilde with a bone through his nose.”
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
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The author of this article wrote the blood-curdling horror novel Hour of the Beast, considered by many the best werewolf story since The Howling. In the shocking and controversial first 13 pages, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. After that, things start to get out of hand.
To check out Hour of the Beast and hear Chapter One read FREE click HERE! The Ebook is a measly $5. It’s available on Amazon.com, but you can save $4 by ordering it on the website.
C. Michael Forsyth is the author of "Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Harry Houdini in The Adventure of the Spook House,""The Blood of Titans," "Hour of the Beast" and "The Identity Thief." He is a Yale graduate and former senior writer for The Weekly World News
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