NEW YORK — Psychiatrists have identified a bizarre mental disorder that causes people to believe they’re NOT being watched and monitored by the government.
Victims of the syndrome – known as Surveillance Denial Disorder– suffer from the delusion that their emails, Internet searches, texts and phone calls are completely private. And they refuse to acknowledge the hundreds of pubic cameras capturing their every move.
“This goes far beyond normal naivety,” explains Dr. Byron Virolosky, a leading psychiatrist. “It is as if these individuals believe they are invisible to the government. When confronted with concrete evidence that someone is always watching them, they will make irrational statements such as ‘That’s ridiculous, we live in America’ or “This is a free country.’”
Roger H., 45, a fiction writer, first began exhibiting symptoms of the peculiar condition in February 2015.
“The patient’s wife reports that one morning he did a Google search for ‘cross-country skiing,’ and an hour later, noticed that ads for cross-country skis started popping up on his Facebook page. He told her, ‘Wasn’t that an odd coincidence?’ At first she thought he was joking, but he wasn’t.”
Over the succeeding months, the father of two showed increasingly disturbing signs that he couldn’t perceive even the most blatant signs of corporate and government spying.
The straw that broke the camel’s came last August, when the author was researching a spy novel — and conducted an Internet search with the keywords “How Build Dirty Bomb.” His wife asked him if he wasn’t worried that the peculiar search might cause government agents to suspect he was a terrorist.
“Roger looked at her with a puzzled expression, and asked, ‘How would anyone know?’” revealed the expert.
That’s when Roger’s wife knew she had to get him the professional help he so desperately needed.
“She realized his behavior was putting himself and the family at risk,” the psychiatric noted. “What if the search had triggered an armed Homeland Security raid on the house?”
CAMERAS in public locations help ensure public safety.
Fortunately the mental illness responds to a cocktail of psychiatric drugs, combined with weekly therapy sessions.
“Roger is thinking much more clearly now, he’s returned to reality,” the shrink said.
Exoerts say the condition is similar to pronoia, or reverse-paranoia, in which patients believe everyone in the world is conspiring to make their lives better.
“In both cases, people see the world through rose-colored glasses,” Dr. Virolosky said.
MANY years ago, believing you were being watched by government agents was considered a sign of insanity. Now it’s just the reverse!
If you enjoyed this mind-bending tale by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
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If you found this article by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy one of his novels, such as The Identity Thief.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.
God hears all prayers – but don’t hold your breath waiting for a reply. Astrophysicists estimate that it takes a mindboggling 2,600 years for your urgent pleas to reach Heaven!
“It is the consensus of experts that the physical location of Heaven is most likely at the center of the galaxy, roughly 26,000 light years from Earth, in the direction of the constellation Sagittarius,” explains theoretical physicist Dr. Kyle Underbrick.
“That means it would take a beam of light 26,000 years to travel from Earth to Heaven. It’s a cardinal rule of science that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light, 186,000 miles per second. But even if one assumes, as we have, that prayer can travel ten times faster than light – far faster than biologists have clocked thoughts moving through the human brain – that means a prayer uttered on Earth would take 2,600 years to reach God’s home.
“If you pray for a cure for your sick mom today, the message will reach the Lord circa 4615 AD.”
The surprising calculation arrived at by a joint team of European and U.S. astrophysicists has been confirmed by computer models. But Bible scholars say the findings are no reason to despair in a time of need.
“Remember, God is omniscient,” notes the Reverend Owen Nevistown. “If you are on the deck of burning ship, He is well aware of it, whether you’ve dropped to your knees to pray or not. And He will see that your life is spared, unless of course your survival is not part of the Divine Plan.”
DEVOUTLY religious leaders like Sen. Ted Cruz believe that prayer is an effective tool.
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth
If you enjoyed this mind-bending tale by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
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If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy one of his novels.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.
ST. LOUIS — When Missouri farmer Hasgood Welch saw a raggedly dressed figure with mottled flesh shambling toward him across his soybean field, he didn’t hesitate to put a bullet in its forehead with his .30 caliber rifle. But this turned out to be a tragic error because the creature was actually an ordinary man wearing zombie makeup!
The 48-year-old victim assumed the bizarre disguise deliberately so his miserable life could be ended, in a widening trend that concerned officials have dubbed “suicide by zombie hunter.”
“The typical case is that of a white male 40 to 55 who feels he is living a life of quiet desperation,” explained Dr. Leona Sigley, a leading psychologist. “He may be languishing in a job he hates, have been married to the same woman for 30 years. He’s come to the conclusion, ‘Don’t wait until the zombie apocalypse. Just shoot me in the head now.’”
In years gone by, depressed people sometimes rushed police officers in what was known as “suicide by cop.” That method has become less effective in recent times, as lawmen become increasingly reluctant to shoot citizens, thanks to what’s been dubbed the Ferguson Effect.
The victim in the Missouri case became despondent after his wife dragged him to a social event billed as Grown Grown Folks Night, where the minimum age for entry was 30, the music ranged from 1960s to 1980s, and the club “hotties” were more likely to wear frumpy, flowery frocks than miniskirts.
“It was the straw that broke the camel’s back,” revealed a family member. “He told me, ‘It’s like that song, ‘Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.’ One of his few pleasures in life was to watch The Walking Dead on TV. I guess that’s what gave him the idea.”
Welch, 64, who says he carries the weapon for protection against criminals, Syrian refugees and rabid coyotes, was devastated to learn that he’d shot a living human.
“If I’d known the feller wasn’t a zombie, I would never have pulled the trigger,” he said.
If you got a chuckle out of this mind-bending tale by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new graphic novel Night Cage, about vampires running amok in a women’s prison.
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
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If you got a kick out of this article by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, you might enjoy one of his books.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth.
Unlike TV’s Angel, portrayed by actor David Boreanaz, most real vampires wouldn’t be caught undead in black clothing.
By C. Michael Forsyth
If you think that vampires are repelled by garlic and lurk through the streets in black leather duds, you’re dead wrong. Contrary to popular belief, bloodsuckers are not allergic to garlic and in fact love to season their food with the pungent herb, a top expert says.
“As anyone familiar with Anne Rice novels knows, Paris is the center of vampire society—and garlic is an essential ingredient in French cuisine,” reveals researcher Lorraine Previlsky, who has spent the last two decades studying real-life nosferatu.
“Traditional French dishes such as Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic, and Escargot à la Bourguignonne Snails in Garlic-Herb Butter are as indispensable a part of a vampire’s diet as blood. If you have the misfortune to feel the cold breath of a vampire on your neck, you can be sure it will be accompanied by the potent smell of garlic.”
YUMMY garlic bread is one of many foods enjoyed by vampires.
Among vamps born and bred in the U.S.A., the herb is just as popular, sprinkled on pizza or in garlic mashed potatoes.
The myth that vampires dress in black like Angel and Spike in TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer also has no basis in fact, according to the expert.
“If you were condemned to dwell in the shadows and walk only at night, you too would hate to wear black,” she said. “Real vampires prefer cheerful colors such as lemon green, fuchsia, pumpkin orange and bumble bee yellow. Anyone who strolls into a vampire bar in black clothing would be instantly pegged as a wannabe.”
The preference for brilliant hues dates back centuries.
DANDIES like this 18th century fop held onto their preference for bright colors after being vampirized.
“Bear in mind, the height of the vampire epidemic was the 18th century, when flamboyant European dandies and fops strutted around like peacocks in gay, frilly attire with lots of bright colors,” the expert explained. “Men and women who crossed over in those days have of course modified their clothing choices to blend into modern society, but their basic fashion sense remains the same. The only vampire you’ll run into in a dark alley who’s wearing a dark leather jacket is a ‘greaser’ who was converted back in the 1950s.”
If you got a chuckle out of this article by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new graphic novel Night Cage, about vampires running amok in a women’s prison.
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
.
If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
Over the years, a wide range of big stars have played vampires, from Brad Pitt to Don Rickles. Other celebrities have never donned pointy fangs, but ought to give it a whirl, because they ALREADY look a lot like vampires. Here are some top stars who would make very convincing vampires without breaking a sweat.
ANGELINA JOLIE
CILLIAN MURPHY
HELENA BONHAM CARTER
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
ADRIEN BRODY
RIHANNA
STEVE BUSCEMI
JAVIER BARDEM
WILLIAM FICHTNER
UMA THURMAN
ANTHONY HOPKINS
If you enjoyed this article by C. Michael Forsyth check out his collection of bizarre news stories, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
.
If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
LAP-UP-YOUR-BLOOD DANCE ANYONE? Curvaceous Salma Hayek, as stripper Satánico Pandemónium, entertains George Clooney and his drinking buddies, shortly before she turns into blood-slurping monster, in “From Dusk Till Dawn.”
By C. Michael Forsyth
LOS ANGELES — Watch out, fellas – or your next lap dance could be your last. Experts warn that scores of strip clubs are host to bloodthirsty vampire covens!
Researchers say that as many as 74 gentlemen’s clubs nationwide are infested with vampires, many of them entirely staffed by the undead fiends.
“Most exotic dancers are interested only in draining patrons dry of cash,” says researcher Tim Hegelerbaum. “But these creatures are bent on obtaining a more ‘liquid’ asset.”
Vampire strippers have been a Hollywood staple for years, with the industry churning out movies like “Vamp,” (1986) “From Dusk Till Dawn” (1996) and the grade-D sexploitation flick “G-String Vampire” (2006). And experts say that in this case, movie-makers got it right.
“The screenwriters of these films undoubtedly did their share of hands-on research at lap dance emporiums,” explains L.A.-based Hegelerbaum. “But I’m told they diligently explored their subject in the library as well. And they could not have failed to unearth a true-life case that occurred in Philadelphia in 1974.
“Police raided a strip club and discovered seven unoccupied coffins in a back room. When they attempted to arrest the half-naked dancers, a brawl ensued in which several officers were flung about ‘like paper dolls,’ according to a newspaper report. The strippers fled into the night and were never seen again.”
Stripping is a career that fits vampires like a glove, experts explain. The hours are good, with business conducted almost exclusively at night. Pickings are easy; prey can be feasted upon in secluded VIP lounges. And victims have rarely told their wives, girlfriends or employers where they were going.
Here, according to researchers, are 10 warning signs that your favorite topless watering hole is one of these dens of death:
1. You feel “drained” after a visit to the VIP room with one of the busty beauties.
2. Unlike many strippers and prostitutes, none of the dancers wear crucifixes.
3. The club does not have a “day shift” at all, but opens only after sunset.
4. The girl giving you a lap dance displays psychic gifts such as the ability to read minds, perhaps slipping up and addressing you by your real name when you’ve given her a phony one.
5. Seemingly youthful dancers use antiquated slang, for example saying that they fear a raid from “the fuzz’ or even more alarming, “the coppers.”
6. Dancers are extremely aggressive in cajoling you to accompany them to the VIP room – almost as if hungering for the up-close-and-personal contact.
7. Regular patrons appear pale, in fact progressively so over a period of weeks, until they abruptly cease to show up.
8. Dancers wear heavy makeup, either to disguise ultra-white skin before a feeding or a peculiar ruddy complexion after fattening up on human blood.
9. Entire bachelor parties vanish into back rooms with dancers – and never emerge.
10. Although the “good angel” on your shoulder urgently warns you to stay away and you grow weaker after every visit, you feel an irresistible urge to return to the strip joint again and again – as if being drawn to your doom by the more powerful wills of the lethal ladies within.
If you were intrigued and entertained by this mind-bending tale by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his graphic novel about vampires running amok in a women’s prison, Night Cage.
If you got a chuckle out of this supernatural news satire by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new graphic novel NIGHT CAGE about vampires running amok in a women’s prison.
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
.
If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
BOTTOMS UP? Would YOU have the guts to guzzle Dracula blood from this bottle?
In what critics have branded “the most reckless scientific undertaking in half a century,” three maverick researchers are preparing to drink the blood of Vlad the Impaler – the historical Dracula.
If all goes well, the trio will prove once and for all that Vlad was no vampire – but if it fails, experts fear the trio could become vampires themselves.
“This so-called experiment is shockingly arrogant and foolhardy,” blasts Romanian folklorist Costica Popescu. “The risk is not only to them. They could unleash a vampire plague that sweeps through the entire region in a matter of weeks.”
But German researchers Albrecht Holtzmann, 54. Leopold Koertig, 44, and Johanna Eichelberger, 37, insist that nothing could go wrong.
“We are taking every conceivable precaution,” Holtzmann assured reporters. “We will be properly restrained and security staff will be on hand, equipped with crucifixes and holy water in the unlikely event that something extraordinary occurs.
“If we’re right, we’ll prove to the world that Dracula was not a vampire, clearing his name. But if we’re wrong, the scientific community will have a unique opportunity to examine these mysterious, marvelous creatures the world knows as vampires.”
The strange scientific saga began in 2002 when a small bottle sealed with wax and labeled “Blood of Vlad Dracul-a of Wallachia” was discovered beneath the ruins of a deconsecrated church in Romania. The site – just 35 miles from Castle Poenari, the legendary stronghold of the 15th century warlord — was being excavated by archaeologists. DNA tests conducted on the contents in 2018 and compared to living descendants of Prince Vlad found an 87% chance the blood was indeed that of the notoriously brutal ruler.
“It was all very puzzling,” explains science writer Hans Fruehaul. “The vast majority of historians say that Vlad, while widely described as ‘bloodthirsty’ in texts from his time, did not literally drink blood. It is generally believed that Bram Stoker, the author of the famous novel Dracula, merely borrowed the name and background of the historical figure for his book. But there are a handful of experts who disagree, insisting that Prince Vlad was a bona fide vampire. And the fact that the bottle of his blood was found at a site known to be a gathering place for devil-worshippers in the late Middle Ages did give some credence to that assertion.”
BLOODTHIRSTY 15th century warlord Vlad the Impaler.
Controversy arose when the German lab where the genetic testing was conducted refused to return the blood, instead transferring it to a vial where it has remained stored in a refrigerated compartment for the past seven years. When Holtzmann, the lab’s director, announced on October 17 his team’s plan to sip the blood, he was met with a firestorm of criticism. There have even been calls for the government to put an evacuation plan in place for the area in the event that things go awry.
But the researchers have adopted a lighthearted — some say frivolous — attitude to the risky venture. They plan to take sips of the blood exactly on midnight on December 1, believed to be the anniversary of Vlad’s birth.
Said Holtzmann, “We will either open our eyes normal and pop open a bottle of champagne, or awake as new beings with remarkable powers and characteristics to discover.”
RESEARCHERS plan to take the title of this Christopher Lee movie literally.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
Bravo! In a giant leap forward for mankind, DNA scientists have successfully spliced together human genes with those from a vampire bat – creating an amazing new hybrid that some are calling the world’s first real-life vampire!
The tiny embryo, still only four weeks old, would — if allowed to come to full term — have physical traits of both homo sapiens and Desmodus rotundus, a species of vampire bat common in Mexico and South America.
“We do not of course know exactly what it would look like,” says Dr. Hans Lichtstein, head of the team of Austrian scientists. “Most likely a human torso and head, along with bat-like features such as an upturned snout and pointed ears. It will probably have leathery wings but it is unlikely it will be able to fly due to the density of its bones. Theoretically, it would drink milk in infancy and later acquire a taste for blood, the dietary trait known as hematophagy.”
The controversial project was hush-hush until news leaked to the press last week. Dazzled science writers now agree it is the most remarkable use of genetic engineering since the creation of the goat-spider hybrid by University of Wyoming eggheads in 2010.
Scientists have not yet announced whether they will destroy the embryo — which was created for research purposes — freeze their bizarre brainchild for further use, or implant it in a volunteer in the hope that it can be brought to term.
“It would certainly make a splendid entry in the annual Frankenstein Awards,” notes Dr. Lichstein, referring to the exciting competition held each October 31 in which DNA wizards unveil their latest gee-wiz creations. But the researcher hastens to add that the project is far from just fun and games.
“Work in this area of science will hopefully one day lead to the elimination of hereditary conditions such as Tays-Sachs disease, and perhaps in time, result in humans with superior intelligence and longevity.”
MIRACLE or menace? Critters like this one in the movie “Daybreakers” may soon be a common sight.
THRILLING NEW GRAPHIC NOVEL!
Speaking of vampires, the author of this article, C. Michael Forsyth, has written a graphic novel about bloodsuckers overrunning a women’s prison, titled NIGHT CAGE.
If you enjoyed this mind-bending tale by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
.
If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
PHOTO purportedly of bizarre catfight appeared in a Romanian newspaper.
By C. Michael Forsyth
CRAIOVA, Romania — A crowded biker bar erupted into pandemonium when a vicious catfight broke out between a female werewolf and a lady vampire!
The knock-down, drag-out brawl raged for at least 15 minutes, leaving the Red Boar Tavern in shambles, according to a bizarre news item in the February 10 edition of the People’s Daily Journal.
“There was all the kicking, hair-pulling and clothes-ripping you’d see in an ordinary girl fight,” bartender Claudiu Balescu, 45, was quoted as saying in the Romanian newspaper. “But when these two scratched each other, huge chunks of flesh went flying.
“At one point, the werewolf kicked the vampiress in the belly and she sailed 14 feet through the air and into a rack of wine bottles. The feisty little bloodsucker got up like it was nothing, picked up an old oak table that must have weighed 350 pounds and smashed it right over the werewolf’s head.”
The trouble began a little after 1:30 a.m. at the 70-year old Red Boar, a notorious watering hole for biker gangs, drug-dealers, hired killers and other unsavory characters. About 40 patrons were quietly throwing darts and shooting pool.
“This pretty girl with long black hair was chatting up a young hunk,” Balescu said. “She had an odd, old-fashioned way of talking that I hadn’t heard since my lubit bunica (beloved grandmama) was alive. She was close to talking him into going home with her when this taller girl with the tattoo of a full moon on her arm swaggered over and gave the guy a playful little pat on the rear end.
“The first girl took exception to this. She snarls, ‘Back off, b____, this one’s mine.’ ”
“The tall girl gives a not-so-friendly grin and says, ‘Better watch your tone, girlie. You don’t know who you’re messing with.’ And she gives the other girl a shove.
“The pretty girl opens her mouth and you see she’s got these gigantic white fangs. Quick as a flash, she takes a bite out of the tall girl’s throat and steps back spitting out a mouthful of gristle. We all thought the tall girl was toast. But the next thing you know, thick black hair started sprouting all over her face and arms.”
As the two women flew at each other, the saloon’s tough-guy patrons all dove for cover.
“Big, burly bruisers who toss cops through windows for fun on a regular basis hid under tables and crowded into the ladies room for safety,” Balescu revealed. “Me and all four bouncers took refuge behind the bar.”
The battling babes resorted to every dirty trick in the book to hurt and humiliate each other. At one point the vampiress ripped the werewolf’s skirt off, according to a three-page, blow-by-blow account in the newspaper.
“When the skirt came off you saw that her legs were covered in coarse black fur like a gorilla,” barmaid Narcisa Dalakis, 28, recalled. “I shouted to her, ‘Honey, you’re in serious need of a bikini wax.’ Well, actually I wished I’d said that, but I was afraid I’d get my arm chewed off.”
The fierce females had both been in their share of bar fights before, if the sophisticated techniques they employed are any indication.
“The wolf girl used a pile-driver to knock the wind out of the vampiress, and got her in a Hungarian leg lock,” revealed another eyewitness, loan shark Stephan Ibanescu. “I bet 150 leus [about $50 U.S.] that the blood-drinker would never escape, but I lost. A couple minutes later the vampire executed a roundhouse kick that would have made Chuck Norris green with envy.”
Police arrived on the scene within eight minutes of the first frantic emergency call, but made no attempt to break up the fight for at least another seven, according to eyewitnesses. The officers have come under fire for failing to intervene more swiftly.
“The cops stood around gawking as the she-creatures wrestled on the floor ripping each other’s underwear off and shrieking curses at each other,” claimed Balescu. “I swear to you, one cop pulled up a stool and actually started popping peanuts in his mouth.”
Police Sergeant Wadim Murgu bristled at the suggestion that he and the six officers under his command behaved in anything less than a professional manner.
“If you’ve ever tried to separate two fighting women, you know the risk of injury to oneself,” he told the paper. “Obviously, in this case the danger was even greater. My first duty is to ensure the safety of my men. I wasn’t about to order them to take action until we fully assessed the situation.”
When Sgt. Murgu finally blew his police whistle and ordered the combatants to surrender, both women crashed through the bar’s plate glass window and escaped.
Sturdy oak furniture had been reduced to kindling and scores of bottles of imported alcohol lay shattered. The owner estimates that he suffered 120,000 leus (the equivalent of $40,000 U.S.) in damages. The two-fisted lady monsters left behind few clues as to their identity or whereabouts.
“We recovered an antique ruby bracelet, remnants of a yellow thong panty with a floral pattern, and tuffs of animal hair which have been taken to the police lab for examination,” said Sgt. Murgu.
“The public can rest assured that we are leaving no stone unturned in our effort to identify the culprits and bring them to justice.”
If you got a chuckle out of this article by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his graphic novel NIGHT CAGE about vampires running amok in a women’s prison.
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
.
If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
CUTE little Mittens may be secretly slurping your blood.
By C. Michael Forsyth
Warning: Your precious house cat may be a vampire that sneaks into your bedroom each night to lap your blood!
Sanguinem nobiscum, the parasite associated with vampirism in humans, can be transmitted from people to felines and vice versa, much like the better known toxoplasma gondii, experts say.
“The parasite rewires the brain, creating an irresistible hunger for blood,” says veterinary infectious-disease specialist Dr. Nora Kelwick. “Most pet owners are unaware of the change. Their cat slinks into the room of a family member – frequently a child – and feeds. The pinprick-sized holes it leaves are no more noticeable than mosquito bites, and the victim is aware of nothing besides increased grogginess in the morning, and perhaps a slight dizziness.”
Vampiric felines have been reported since the earliest accounts of human vampires and blood-drinking demons in ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia. Cults devoted to the worship of the Cat Goddess flourished up until 3rd century Rome, with human sacrifice quite common. In the Middle Ages, cats were feared as familiars of witches, due principally to their habit of preying on sleeping peasants. The ability of vampire cats to survive seemingly fatal accidents such as falls from tremendous heights, drowning or being run over by wagons gave rise to the superstition that cats have “nine lives.”
Here, from the expert, are nine warning signs that your beloved pet has joined the ranks of the undead:
1) Sleeps or is listless during the day, but is active at night, much like a human vampire.
2) Stares at you for no apparent reason, as if trying to lull you into a hypnotic trance.
3) Normally an indoor cat, now attempts to slip out to hunt for victims.
4) Severe allergic reaction to garlic.
5) Shuns sunlight.
6) Visiting children – more sensitive to the supernatural – are apprehensive around it.
7) Won’t cross running water.
8) Recoils and flees when a crucifix is thrust in its face.
9) Begins to smoke when sprayed with holy water.
While roving packs of feral vampire cats have been known to prey on the homeless in some large cities – especially St. Louis – the main danger is of infecting humans.
“Spores from the parasite can be transmitted by the cat’s bite, creating a risk of conversion, especially among persons with weak immune systems,” cautions Dr. Kelwick. “If you suspect your cat is a vampire, consult a vet immediately.”
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth
CLAUSTROPHIC TERROR GETS THE MAX
If you got a chuckle out of this supernatural news satire by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth, check out his new graphic novel Night Cage, about vampires running amok in a women’s prison.
If you enjoyed this mind-bending story by C. Michael Forsyth, check out his collection of bizarre news, available on Kindle and in other eBook formats.
.
If you found this story by fiction writer C. Michael Forsyth entertaining, you might enjoy his novels…
The creator of Sherlock Holmes and the world’s greatest magician probe a paranormal mystery in new thriller.
The tables turn on an identity thief in the latest thriller by C. Michael Forsyth. To check it out, click HERE.
In Hour of the Beast, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. When her sons grow up and head to college, things REALLY get out of hand.
C. Michael Forsyth is the author of "Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Harry Houdini in The Adventure of the Spook House,""The Blood of Titans," "Hour of the Beast" and "The Identity Thief." He is a Yale graduate and former senior writer for The Weekly World News
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By. C. Michael Forsyth
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Horror News 