Archive for the ‘quantum mechanics’ Tag

Alternative Facts Just as Real, Quantum Physicists Say   Leave a comment

atom-one

By C. Michael Forsyth

Alternative facts are just as real as actual facts, most top theoretical physicists now agree.

“So-called ‘reality’ as most laymen understand it is an antiquated early 20th century concept,” explains Dr. Heath Couldwell of the Cambridge Institute for Complexity. “According to the laws of quantum mechanics, it is entirely possible for a particle to not exist and simultaneously exist. It’s easy to fall into the trap of relying on the evidence of our own eyes, but in the modern era, we mustn’t.”

As early as the 1920s, experts first began to theorize that reality is not what it seems and that there is no such thing as a “solid” fact.

“The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, introduced by Werner Heisenberg in 1927, holds that it is impossible to determine the precise position and momentum of a subatomic particle,” Dr. Couldwell says. “In other words, there’s a fundamental ‘fuzziness’ in nature.

“Rather than conceiving of a fact as a concrete thing, it is more helpful to picture a constellation of possible facts, some of which have a greater probability than others.”

schrodingers_cat_edited-1

The famous Schrödinger’s Cat Experiment demonstrated that a cat might be simultaneously dead and alive. In the bizarre thought experiment devised by Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger, a cat, a flask of poison and a radioactive substance are placed in a sealed box. If a Geiger counter detects that an atom has decayed, the flask is shattered, releasing the poison and killing the cat. If not, the cat lives. Since such a random subatomic event may be occurring or not occurring and there is no way to tell, the fickle feline is, for that instant, both dead and alive.

“The fact that the cat is dead and the alternative fact that the cat is alive are equally true,” Dr. Couldwell observes. “And this principle applies to everything in the world around us.”

The notion that something can be both true and not true seems counterintuitive to most non-scientists, and even the world’s most brilliant physicists admit the paradox can make their heads spin.

“Schrödinger himself was convinced that his proof of the theory was incontrovertible, yet also believed he’d proven it to be absurd,” Dr. Couldwell notes. “One thing is crystal clear: If the fact that alternative facts are equally true as true facts is true, it follows logically that the alternative fact that alternative facts are not equally true as true facts is also true.”

 

kellyanne-conway

Top presidential aide Kellyanne Conway was mocked in the media for her belief in the concept of alternative facts, but leading scientists say she’s got it right.

 

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

If you enjoyed this article, check out C. Michael Forsyth’s collection of news satire, available on Kindle and in other eBook formatsBizarre News Cover 5.

Advertisements

Family Values Crusader Seeks to Ban Teaching of Quantum Physics   1 comment

Even the worlds greatest theoretical physicists, including Albert Einstein, have admitted the bizarre laws of quantum physics makes their head spin.

Even the worlds greatest theoretical physicists, including Albert Einstein, have admitted the bizarre laws of quantum physics makes their head spin.

By C. Michael Forsyth

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Family values crusader Kevin R. Crousley has launched a campaign to ban the teaching of quantum mechanics from our nation’s high schools, arguing that its principles violate biblical teaching.

“Particles popping in out of existence or being two places at once – you show me anything in the Bible about that,” declares the tireless advocate for Christian rights. “And this so-called ‘spooky action at a distance’ sounds a whole heck of a lot like old-fashioned magic to me.”

Crousley is determined that he get full credit for starting the movement, before others jump on the bandwagon.

“I was out there challenging the global warming nonsense decades before anybody else,” he asserts. “This time I’m getting the word out loud and clear before some Johnny Come Lately comes along and steals the credit.”

DON'T YOU GET IT? SCHOOL kids should not be exposed to equations like this, family values proponent says.

SCHOOL kids should not be exposed to equations like this, family values advocate says.

Most non-scientists are perplexed by quantum physics, which deals mainly with subatomic particles that disobey the rules of the world we see about us.

One counter-intuitive notion is that events don’t unfold according to the laws of cause of effect, but are governed by “probability clouds.” The Everett Many-Worlds Theory holds that every possible outcome takes place simultaneously, occuring in a “multiverse” made up of parallel universes.

What’s more, when two particles such as electrons interact and then become separated they become “entangled” and can instantaneously affect each other — even if they are light years apart!

LEGENDARY physicist Werner Heisenberg

LEGENDARY physicist Werner Heisenberg

Crousley’s biggest beef is with the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, which posits that a particle has no definite position until scientists measure it.

“If it’s so uncertain, why should we be ramming it down our children’s throats?” Crousley demands.

The family values proponent is especially appalled by the famous Schrödinger’s Cat thought experiment, in which a cat in a sealed box may be killed by cyanide yet, paradoxically, also be alive until the box is checked.

WHAT, you don't get it? Understanding quantum mechanics takes major brain power.

HEARTLESS: Schrödinger’s Cat Experiment is a textbook case of animal cruelty, critic charges.

“What kind of twisted, atheistic egghead sits around dreaming up ways to murder cats — and/or not murder them at the same time?” blasts Crousley. “It’s sick and ungodly.”

If Crousley gets his way, teachers nationwide will no longer be able to mention quantum physics in class – and face a fine of up to $10,000 if they do. To critics who claim the proposal violates the First Amendment, he has a ready answer.

“It’s bad enough that science instructors are teaching Darwin’s theory of evolution as if it were a law like the law of gravity, ‘What goes up must come down,’ ” he says. “Now they’re teaching pure hogwash that almost no one can understand, let alone believe.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

The author of this article wrote the acclaimed new novel "The Blood of Titans," a love story set in the golden age of Africa. To check it out, click below.

The author of this article wrote the acclaimed new novel “The Blood of Titans,” a love story set in the golden age of Africa. To check it out, click below.

CLICK HERE

%d bloggers like this: